To Call My Life My Own

It was near closing at the beginning of November when Noah had a surprise visit in the bakery. It was just a normal weekday, one that Willem wasn’t visiting on, and he was just minding his own business…when Lucy skipped in with an innocent smile on her face. Noah swallowed heavily, his nerves starting to rise. He may not know Willem’s best friend very well, but he knew that face meant trouble.

Damn it.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Well, I have a proposition for you bakery boy, so it entirely depends on your answer,” Lucy grinned.

Yeah, she definitely meant trouble.

“Depends what it is,” Noah replied nervously.

“Oh you are just so adorable!” Lucy giggled, “I just came here to invite you to Will’s birthday party tomorrow,”

Willem’s birthday party? Why hadn’t Willem told him about this? Did Willem not want him to come?

“Oh relax sweetheart, the only reason Will hasn’t told you is because he’s still sulking that I’m throwing him a party in the first place,” Lucy teased.

Noah blushed. Was he really that easy to read?

“So you’ll come, right?” Lucy asked, hand on hip.

“I-I’ll think about it,” Noah said softly.

“Promise?” Lucy pouted.

Noah just nodded. He wasn’t going to commit to something, not without gathering his confidence first.

“Wonderful! I’ll see you tomorrow night. It’s at Will’s apartment, you know the address. Dress sexy!” Lucy winked.

Noah’s jaw dropped as she skipped out the shop. Lucy certainly was a force to be reckoned with. And how the hell was he meant to dress sexy?

*

“Just go Noah! You’ll have fun!”
“You know you want to spend time with Will,”
“It’s his birthday, he’ll want you there!”
“Take a night off, you deserve it,”
“Maybe you’ll finally even get laid,”

Noah’s family had been harping their encouragement at him ever since he told them about the invite. Even his Aunt Cora chipped in for that last charming statement. Despite all his protesting and doubting and general nervousness, Noah found himself dressed in a form-fitting black v-neck tee, his skinniest grey skinny jeans and his favourite magenta cardigan. Even his hair was behaving for once, giving him a nicely-styled bed head look. And even his glasses didn’t make him look too dorky tonight. Noah actually thought he looked good tonight.

And at 9pm sharp, he arrived outside Willem’s apartment, the bus ride over giving him time to gather his confidence. He buzzed for entry, and the door was opened without him even having to say his name. How strange. Taking a deep breath, Noah clutched the box of cupcakes he’d baked closer to his chest and walked up the stairs to Willem’s front door. He knocked hesitantly, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve until the door opened…revealing Willem in one of the nicest shirts he’d even seen and a pair of jeans so sculpted their looked illegal.

“Noah! What are you doing h…Lucy invited you, didn’t she?” Willem mused.

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind,” Noah said, before biting his bottom lip.

“Not when you bite your lip like that I don’t,” Willem grinned.

Noah blushed heavily, making Willem laugh as he beckoned him in.

“Lucy seems to have invited the entire apartment block, people from her work, people from my work and a couple of people from our university, so this should be interesting when they all arrive,”

Noah paled slightly. There were more people coming? The apartment was busy already!

“T-These are for you,” he managed to stutter, thrusting the box forward.

“Did you bake for me?” Willem asked, eyes lighting up.

Noah just nodded, smiling. He loved that his baking could make Willem that happy.

“Great! I’ll just run and put these in my room so Lucy doesn’t eat them. She’s in the kitchen, if you want to find her and grab a drink?” Willem suggested.

Noah just nodded, taking a deep breath before walking through the people loitering in the corridor. He found Lucy quite easily and she threw her arms around him when she saw him, squealing.

“You made it! I knew you’d come!” Lucy said happily.

Noah shrugged, standing awkwardly against the kitchen side. He hadn’t been to a party in longer than he could remember. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to be doing.

“No no no, this is going to be a fun night! We’re going to have cocktails and shots and we’re going to dance!” Lucy grinned.

“I-I don’t know…”

“Hush, I’ll look after you, don’t you worry,” Lucy insisted.

Noah watched helplessly as Lucy grabbed a cocktail shaker. He was doomed.

*

“1…2…3…TEQUILA!”

Noah, Lucy and a few other people he didn’t know swallowed yet another shot of tequila, Noah immediately sucking a lemon slice after. Wow. He honestly didn’t know how Lucy had managed to get him so drunk in only a couple of hours. Sure, he could still see relatively well and he was pretty sure he could speak fluently, but he knew that his movements were a little shaky.

“Lucy! I’m going to take a break!” Noah said loudly, straining to be heard over the music.

She just gave him a thumbs-up. Noah took that as a go-ahead and poured himself a cup of water before heading out into the hallway. Willem hadn’t been lying when he said that there were more people coming. Noah honestly didn’t think many more people could fit in the apartment. At least the twins had peace and quiet down in Lucy’s apartment, away from the craziness of Willem’s birthday.

Speaking of Willem…

“Noah! How are you? You look great by the way. Make that, incredible. Incredibly hot,” Willem slurred, leaning against the wall next to Noah, his chest pressing to Noah’s arm.

Noah fought not to blush, he really did.

“Okay you’ve definitely had way too much to drink,” Noah teased, putting his cup down on the floor.

“I’m not the one that was doing shots with Lucy,” Willem retorted, sticking his tongue out.

Noah couldn’t help but laugh. This side of Willem was fun, so relaxed and unburdened. He was glad he’d had the chance to see this side of him.

“Are you having fun?” Willem asked.

“Yeah, I am. I’m glad Lucy invited me,” Noah nodded, smiling.

“I’m glad she invited you too,” Willem said softly.

Noah would’ve smiled a bit more, but Willem’s face had gone serious. What? Had he done something wrong?

But before Noah could ask, Willem leant forward and pressed his lips straight to Noah’s. Noah froze as Willem’s hands went to his hips, not knowing what to do. This was Noah’s first kiss! And Willem was drunk! This wasn’t how Noah imagined it would be! Noah whimpered as Willem pressed his body a little closer to Noah’s, but slowly kissed him back. What else was he supposed to do?

After a few more seconds, Willem pulled away with a goofy smile on his face.

“Thanks for making my birthday amazing,” Willem said happily.

Noah’s jaw dropped as Willem stumbled away, tears stinging his eyes. That was not how his first kiss was meant to go. Willem was not meant to just take it from him like that. Fuck. What the hell was he meant to do now?

“Noah? Are you okay?”

Lucy!

“N-No, I’m not,” Noah whimpered, shaking his head.

“What happened? Who upset you?” Lucy frowned.

Noah just shook his head. He couldn’t tell her.

“Ssh, calm down, you’ll be okay,” Lucy soothed.

“I-I’ve got to go. I can’t be here,” Noah replied, shaking his head.

“It is way too late and you are way too drunk to make your way home,” Lucy replied.

“But…”

Lucy put her finger to his lips, smiling sadly at him. Ah, she did realise how serious he was.

“I’m taking you to my apartment. Come on,”

With a sigh, Noah found himself being dragged down the corridor to Lucy’s apartment.

“You can crash on my couch – I would offer the spare bedroom but the twins are hogging it tonight. Can I get you some water? Call someone? Do you want me to tell Will?”

“No don’t tell Will!” Noah blurted.

Lucy frowned then her eyes went wide. Damn it, she’d got the gist of his problem.

“I’m gonna go back to the party, but if you need anything just help yourself, okay?” Lucy said sadly.

Noah just nodded, staying silent as Lucy got him a blanket and a pillow. She squeezed his shoulder before leaving again, and Noah lay straight down, curling into a ball. As he drifted off into sleep, a few tears trickled down his cheeks. How had tonight gone from so good to so bad, so quickly?