Daddy's Little Girl
Dear Journal,
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it hurt? But never wanted to admit to the world that you actually wanted that one thing? Fear takes over. Fear that people will judge you for wanting what you want, fear that you might actually get what you have wanted. Most of all, fear that if you actually get what you want, it will turn out that you never really wanted it. And then what's left? Nothing. Emptiness. That isn't much different than where I started, so why bother.
So I'll just sit here and secretly want my father, Jeff Skinner, to be a part of my life. And not-so-secretly hate his guts at the same time. Is it possible to simultaneously have so much hatred and love for one person? I'm not really sure what to do anymore.....
Until later,
Rebecca
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it hurt? But never wanted to admit to the world that you actually wanted that one thing? Fear takes over. Fear that people will judge you for wanting what you want, fear that you might actually get what you have wanted. Most of all, fear that if you actually get what you want, it will turn out that you never really wanted it. And then what's left? Nothing. Emptiness. That isn't much different than where I started, so why bother.
So I'll just sit here and secretly want my father, Jeff Skinner, to be a part of my life. And not-so-secretly hate his guts at the same time. Is it possible to simultaneously have so much hatred and love for one person? I'm not really sure what to do anymore.....
Until later,
Rebecca