Survival

“I still don’t know how you got Tobias to let you do this,” Cassius smiled with a shake of his head. He refilled the tattooing tool with ink and then brought his hand back up to my right shoulder. The annoying scratching sensation began again and I bit back any signs of pain.

“I don’t think he let me, really. It was more… part of the rules. I was injured in a battle I contributed to, so I get the war story tattoo,” I replied, looking down at the small outlines that Cassius was drawing on me. When he was done they would read of a low-threat battle that became more dangerous when guns were drawn, and that I was a brave soldier who had taken a hit. I was having brave soldier written permanently on me as a war tattoo. Never had I thought this would actually happen, but it was. I had gone to battle, and now I was getting proof of it. The first female from my group to be tattooed... A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts and I saw Tobias standing there. I hadn’t seen him since yesterday, when he brought me back to the ship.

“Mind if I come in?” he asked.

“I don’t need a hand to hold; it doesn’t hurt at all,” I teased with a grin, making Toby smile as he rolled his eyes. He strode forwards, shut the door behind him, and took a seat on the other side of me.

“Cassius, we have matters to discuss once you are finished,” Tobias said first.

“Sure. Just five minutes,” Cassius replied as Tobias turned to face me.

“How are your wounds?” Tobias asked softly. My stomach jolted at the memory of him seeing my top half rather exposed, and how inappropriate it was.

“They are much better. I am apparently very lucky you got the yarrow leaves and put them on the wounds, otherwise I might have lost too much blood by the time we returned,” I answered. “I’m really grateful. Thank you.” Toby smiled and shook his head a little.

“Don’t mention it,” he trailed off, his kind smile fading as he clasped his hands together. The way his brow furrowed told me that something was troubling him, but I was too afraid to ask what it was. “Marion… Who taught you how to fight?”

“What?” I breathed, the question starting to sink in. I decided I shouldn’t tell him about who it was, in case he reacted badly. “I- I secretly watched your training. I taught myself.” It wasn’t a huge lie. That was exactly how I had obtained the basic skills.

“No. You don’t get that good by just watching. You need your own weapons, you need to practice so often… You need aid. Who gave it to you?” Tobias continued, his logic flawless. I was cornered.

“I… I don’t know if I should tell you…” I whispered as I avoided his eyes. I just knew they’d be filled with disappointment again, but that wasn’t the Tobias I wanted to see. The silence was filled with the humming from the tattoo tool. “Why does it even matter? I’m good at it and-”

“You know this matters because you’re not supposed to be fighting! Someone clearly went out of their way to break the rules and to teach you behind my back!” Tobias raised his voice, taking me by surprise. I wanted to move away, to leave the room and ignore Tobias’ anger, but Cassius was preventing it. It was almost as if they had planned this. He moved in closer and lowered his voice. “You know about the Otto issue. Tell me, is it him?” I hesitated. Tobias’ best guess was correct. He sank back into his chair, knowing he was right.

“It’s not just him! Loukas and Adara teach me too. They don’t care that I’m a female. They just know I’m a fighter, and that’s all that matters to them! I wish you could see that!” I caved, becoming frustrated again. “I took two bullets in the last battle and injured humans. I defeated you in a sparring match so I could attend that fight. In the battle a while ago, I killed a human to protect you! How is that not proof that I deserve this tattoo? That I deserve to be a fighter?”

“But that’s the thing! You’re female and you got hurt! I couldn’t possibly bear to watch you get injured again or, even worse, killed!” Tobias shouted back. I flinched, but luckily Cassius had moved the tool away so I didn’t hurt myself on its sharp edge. A wet material was pressed against my arm and I turned to look at it, seeing Cassius wiping down the tattoo and removing excess ink.

“Almost done…” he muttered to me, so I turned back to look at Tobias.

“This isn’t about whether or not you can fight. I’m not denying that anymore, because you bet me fair and square,” Tobias continued, his voice a bit calmer. “It’s about me being a leader. I have to protect you, both because you’re a female and because you’re my friend.”

“But I can protect myself now! And if you and the others would train me, then I’d be able to fight even better,” I explained as Cassius started applying a bandage to the tattoo.

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Clearly not! Enlighten me!” I growled back.

“I said yes to our group. I said yes, I would lead them, and yes, we would survive. That means I have to lead you to survival, alongside our race! You can’t be on the battlefield! You need to be doing female things so our race can survive!” Tobias argued.

“You said yes? Well so do I! I say yes to surviving, but I also say yes to fighting for my survival!” I shouted as I tore away from Cassius. I had nothing more to say, so left the room and hurriedly walked back to the female bedroom area of the spaceship. Instead of heading to my room to cool off, I decided to visit Brienne. I knocked on her door, hoping she’d answer.

“Marion!” Brienne smiled as she opened the door, her face falling flat a second after. “What’s wrong?”

“May I come in?” I asked.

“Of course. Homework can wait,” she said, quickly moving aside and letting me come in. “Is that your tattoo? Can I see?” I took a seat to bring my shoulder down a bit and peeled back a bit of the bandage to show her the dark brown ink that was now etched onto my skin.

“It’ll look better once it’s not red from the pain,” I explained.

“Brave soldier? Wow, that’s so cool! You must be proud!” Brienne beamed, making me smile too. It soon disappeared as I got lost in my thoughts again, hating how angry Tobias had been at me. Otto was the only one who was truly kind to me… And he wanted to mate me. Wow… “So, what happened? Let me guess, Tobias?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… He was pretty pissed off… I mean, angry!” I corrected myself, making Brienne giggle. Otto… Could I do it? Would it be worth it? “You know what? I think I’m going to say yes.”

“To what? To who?” she asked, eyes as wide as they could possibly be.

“To Otto. I don’t care what Tobias says. His opinion is faltered,” I replied. “I’m better off without him. I belong in the other group.”