Survival

I laid on my bed, staring at the plain ceiling. Last night had been difficult to sleep through. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what I had witnessed. Every single time I concluded Otto had left Tobias behind, my mind would either decide that was wrong or that Otto had good reasons. Maybe he had thought the situation was too dangerous. It could have been much worse from his position on the ground, and my height in the tree offered a huge advantage that allowed me to succeed. Perhaps Otto had simply thought that Tobias was a strong enough warrior to handle just one opponent and had left so Tobias could do just that.

I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t intervened. Would Tobias have fought off that human? I was certain he could have done it, but it was the approaching crowd I had been concerned about. They would have easily captured Tobias because he couldn’t fly out, or fight them all. He would have been killed as he attempted to defend himself, or caught and tortured until he died an even more painful death. I shuddered at the thought of how Tobias might have died yesterday, really not wanting to think about it. It truly was the worst situation for us. Having our wings deformed like that…

Attempting to rid my mind of the horrid scene, I sighed and rubbed my eyes. All of the contemplating was making me tired and now my head was starting to ache a little. I rolled over onto my left and checked my right shoulder. It hadn’t hurt for a day or so now, so I peeled off the bandage and looked at the ink. It looked wonderful, so I decided it was time to stop hiding it. Brave soldier… Either brave or stupid for going into the fight wounded… But Tobias… It was so conflicting. Otto was so sweet to me and wanted to be my mate, but Tobias was a long time friend and my leader. Was one simply my past, and the other my future? Who did I trust? I wanted desperately to talk to them both, to hear the story from their perspectives, but I doubted it would help. They both seemed to despise each other and would probably lie a bit to attempt to push the other down. It was just too difficult.

A knock resonated around my room and I called out for the person to enter. Brienne came in and said hello, taking a seat and resting her chin in her palms as she leaned forward.

“I’m not supposed to say this, but I will anyway. Tobias asked me to check on you,” she announced. I rolled my eyes and exhaled in annoyance.

“Tell him I’m fine,” I replied, still watching the ceiling. “Why does he want to know anyway? Nothing’s happened.” I realised I was snappy and felt the need to apologise. As I opened my mouth to start talking, Brienne spoke.

“Is this related to Otto?” she asked. Brienne had seen Otto and I becoming closer and knew about his desire to be my mate, but Tobias preventing it from occurring.

“What am I supposed to do, Brienne? I don’t know who to believe anymore…” I trailed off into a scarce whisper. There were tears in my eyes again, but I held them back. My friend always thought of me as a strong person, she had said that multiple times. I couldn’t be weak. Not now.

“Well, I don’t know what happened, but can you talk to one of them? Maybe Tobias? You’ve known him for the longest,” Brienne suggested. I gently bit my lip, unsure that was the way to go.

“He’s not at fault. Well, for the thing that is troubling me,” I admitted. I had said it out loud. Tobias was not in the wrong; Otto was.

“Speak with Otto then.”

“Will you keep Tobias distracted for me then?” I questioned with a glance over at my younger friend. Brienne smiled and I knew what her answer was.

“Of course. I’ll go and report back to him now, and you can find Otto. I’m pretty certain I just saw him heading towards the outside door,” Brienne answered as she stood.

“Thank you,” I breathed as I heaved myself up. I didn’t want to confront him, but I knew I had to.

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled. We both headed out and went separate ways, me walking downstairs to the main exit. I caught up with Otto as he crossed the sand, heading down to the water’s edge. He was starting to speed up, about to take flight, so I had to stop him.

“Otto!” I shouted, making him stop instantly. He spun around and his expression changed from shock to kindness, the look I thought he suited the best. I quickened my pace and reached his side. “Do you mind if we speak briefly?”

“As long as it is really brief. I have some matters to attend to,” Otto answered politely. I glanced around behind us and saw that there were no Kasiens close enough to hear us.

“I just… I wanted to talk about the last battle. I… I attended and I saw Tobias getting left behind,” I said quietly, looking down and fiddling with my fingers. This was much harder and so much more awkward than I had originally imagined.

“What? He’s back and he’s fine,” he commented.

“That’s not what I meant!” I hissed, forcing myself to look up at his brown eyes. They weren’t so soft anymore. “I saw you leave him.” Otto’s eyes widened a little and I sensed his hesitation.

“I didn’t leave him behind as such.”

“What did you do then?”

“I knew he could handle that one human. All he had to do was stab him, climb up a tree and leave before the others got there. It would be a quick and simple task,” Otto explained. I didn’t say anything and he sighed. “Marion, there was really no point in me staying to try and help. I’d probably just put him off and potentially get us both killed. Now that would have been disastrous…”

“But Tobias needed me to save him! He needed your help!” I countered, trying to remain calm.

“Maybe you just didn’t give him enough time to react. He might have attacked a second later and survived on his own,” he replied smoothly. There was no way that could be disproven. I looked aside and down towards the sand.

“I’m sorry. I just overthought everything and…” I stopped speaking. I was making a fool of myself. What would Otto think of me now? Would he still want to be my mate?

“Just remain calm. It’s okay to be concerned, but we are all trained. We can do things by ourselves, and we don’t purposefully leave someone behind to die,” Otto said with a small smile. We fell silent for a moment, which made me feel even more awkward and embarrassed. I shouldn’t have said anything to him. “I must go. I’ll see you later.” Otto leaned forward and gave me a peck on my forehead before leaving for his spaceship. As I watched his handsome wings fly away, I felt so relieved. What an overreaction that was… All of that paranoia for nothing.