Survival

“So, I guess this is our first official date, huh?” I said nervously as I sat down. I was back in Tobias’ room a couple of days later. This was partly his way of celebrating the success they had had in a recent battle. He and the other warriors didn’t tell me much about what had happened, but it was all pretty positive, and no one was injured aside from a few scratches and bruises.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Toby smiled while sitting across from me. He opened the dominos box and then poured out the tiles as I looked around the table we were sitting at. Apart from tidying his room a lot, Toby had also obtained a few fruits and some smoked fish.

“How did you manage to get the fish?” I asked. It was common for Kasiens to go back to the kitchen and help themselves to a selection of picked fruits throughout the day, or even wander into the bush to find some themselves, but meat was treasured. Meat was only used for proper meals, so I was curious about how he had obtained a decent amount of it. Surely it would have raised suspicions.

“I’m the leader, I can do whatever I want,” he chuckled.

“So no one became sceptical about it?”

“Not at all. I take extra food all the time, especially after battles,” Toby said and I raised my eyebrows. “What? I get really hungry…” I giggled a little before glancing back at the delicious plateful.

“And you got some flowers too?” I remarked, spotting the fresh lilies behind the food. This was the first time I had ever seen Tobias have flowers in his room, or anywhere near him, really.

“Oh, Verina gave me those. She said they’re the last of the season, so she wanted me to enjoy them,” he explained. “She’s very kind and supportive.”

“Elders always are.” After speaking I fell silent and started to play the game. I didn’t know what to say anymore. Just thinking about how this was a date and not just friends getting together to enjoy each other’s company made me so anxious. I couldn’t even bring myself to look up at Toby. The longer the silence occurred, the worse I felt. Maybe kissing him was a complete mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. We were just supposed to be friends, and shouldn’t awkwardly try and make our relationship something more.

“So would you like to hear more about today’s fight?” Tobias asked completely out of the blue as he placed a domino down.

“Yes!” I blurted far too eagerly. He chuckled before launching into a detailed recount of what had happened, and how he had lead the army into a surprise attack that had injured a few of the humans. Fortunately, our conversation easily progressed from there, and there wasn’t another awkward silence. I felt at ease, and loved his company. It was just what I had wanted, and what I had imagined it would be like. Time flew by, and it was soon time for Tobias to go to sleep so he would be up early enough for training. He politely stood and led me to the door, but didn’t open it. Instead, Toby took my hands in his and I stared up into his eyes.

“I really enjoyed tonight,” he said softly.

“Me too. Thank you for everything, the fish was just delightful and…” I trailed off, thinking he probably didn’t want to hear it because he already knew it was a good evening. Toby smiled slightly, which made me grin uncontrollably.

“Would it be all right if I kissed you?” he shyly asked. I could tell by his tone that he wanted to, but just didn’t know if I would be okay with it. Naturally, I hesitated and felt like I wanted him to back off. We were just friends… Instead of pushing him away, I nodded slowly and Toby leaned in. We kissed a few times, keeping them short and sweet. That time they felt a lot less weird than our first kiss, and I could feel my stomach jittering in a pleasant manner. “Goodnight…” Tobias ran his fingers softly across mine as he let go, then opened the door. Smiling, I stepped out.

“Goodnight,” I called, walking away but keeping my eyes on him. Toby’s grin was priceless. Never did I think that I would be the female who would make him smile so joyously, and yet here I was. I got back to my room without bumping into another Kasien, which was great because the last thing I needed was to be questioned about why I was in the male’s bedroom section of the spaceship so late at night. Unfortunately it was difficult for me to fall asleep once I returned to my own sleeping quarters. Thoughts about my new relationship with Tobias were so pleasant and thrilling that my heart pounded fast and didn’t allow me to sleep.

I barely saw Tobias for about a week. He spent all day on the training island and was very tired by the time he was done. The only time I managed to see him was during meal times, but for the most part it was just a brief hello and smile as we walked past each other. I was still going in late to avoid female drama, and he was always there early. It didn’t particularly bother me because I knew that it would be like this. Part of secretly dating was the fact that no one else knew, so I was fine with waiting until we had a private moment before we bonded some more. In the afternoon, I spent some time with Cassius as we both tried to fly again. He was a lot better than I was, but I was soon catching up. My feathers were almost back to normal, and we could soon fly across to the training island together and have a quick chat to the males that were there working hard. Today Cassius left to spend time with his mate, but I stayed behind.

“Why aren’t you leaving?” Tobias asked with a bit of a frown. He had stopped in mid-turn back to the young male he had been training all morning.

“I want to start training again,” I replied simply with a small shrug. Tobias glanced back at the male from Otto’s ship and handed him a blade.

“Go and join Loukas’ group. Try out some of the techniques we practiced this morning,” he ordered. The other male ran off enthusiastically to the small group that surrounded Loukas. “Let’s go and practice with some guns.” I nodded and followed Toby to the other side of the island, grabbing a few berries to snack on on the way. I worked on my aim and speed with the guns, noticing my skills were rather rusty now that I hadn’t even touched one for what seemed like ages. Tobias never put me down, and kept his tone positive and encouraging. Eventually, he called it quits and I set my gun down on the tree stump. When I turned back around, I saw Toby was at the other end of the tiny clearing, sitting down on the edge of the cliff. I walked over and saw he appeared lost in thought as he gazed out at sea.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I joined him, swinging my legs off the edge like he was and allowing my wings to spread a little. It was nice to not be attempting to hide my recovering wings from everyone.

“Wanting to talk to you,” he said, turning to look behind us. I glanced as well and saw no one. Toby took my hand in his and we intertwined our fingers. His skin was much rougher than mine from all of his training and hard work, but it was sort of nice and comforting. I liked it.

“What’s on your mind?”

“We are going to battle tomorrow. This could be the last time I see you…” Toby explained quietly.

“Don’t say that…” I breathed. He would be fine, I just knew it.

“I’m trying a new plan, so you never know… It could really backfire, so-” he began, cutting himself off with a frustrated sigh. “You know what, can we please not be upset? Can we just act like everything is normal and enjoy the moment together?” Toby’s eyes were pleading me, so I nodded and looked down at our hands. I didn’t want to let go of him now. If I did, I might never get to be with him again. Toby suddenly released my hand and put his arm across my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I wrapped my arms around his bare torso and enjoyed what could be my last hug with him. He kissed the top of my head and ran his hand up and down my arm. I felt like this was meant to be, that we were meant to be more than friends.