My Rock; My Anchor
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Sitting in the dark of my room, pulling my comforter up over my head and hugging my knees, I let out all the pain and hurt built up throughout today. I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my forehead on my knees as the sobs build and my tears fall. Around me I can hear the rain falling on my window, creating a soft lulling song. Downstairs my parents are yelling and screaming back and forth about who gets what when the settlement comes through. I couldn’t stand to be down there anymore, choosing to instead flee to the safety and serenity of my room; leaving Theodore downstairs with my parents. I just don’t want to cry in front of the only person in my life that doesn’t believe me to be a complete fuck up. My phone chimes from across the room, notifying me that I have a text message. While the clock on the wall keeps ticking down the minutes until it’s all over.
As my crying persists, I opted to bury my face into my pillow to muffle the horrid sounds coming from my mouth. I’m no doubt getting make up on my clean, white pillows, but what’s the point. How can you care about that when life as you know it is ending? My hair falls over my face as I curl into a ball, silently hoping that Theo won’t be mad that I left him down there. What if he’s mad? Is that why he didn’t immediately follow me? The more I think about it the more I start to hyperventilate; the more I begin to freak out.
I concentrate on taking deep, slow breaths and listening to the soft ticking of the black and white clock on the wall. The yells from downstairs gain volume for a moment when my bedroom door is opened. I can hear the muffled footsteps as the intruder’s feet step in, and the barely audible swish of the door brushing the carpet as it closes. Muffled footsteps make their way around the room to the other side of my queen sized bed. The body with which the footsteps belong sits on the edge of the bed, their weight offset my position.
I feel arms wrap around my waist before pulling me toward the promise of a warm embrace. Theo nuzzles my neck from behind before kissing my shoulder. The familiar smell of him filling my nose in the confined space underneath my blankets; a mixture of his cologne and something woody. In my ear, Theo begins to hum my favorite song, just loud enough for me to hear. Its like a weight has lifted off my chest with his familiarity of him.
That’s my Theo. The boy that hums you to sleep and tells you everything will be okay. The boy that brings you chocolate and good music when you’ve started your time of the month. The boy who will smile in the middle of a kiss and tell you you’re beautiful just because. My ever strong rock anchoring me to the ground; the glue that keeps me from falling apart. Without this boy, my mess of a life would be unbearable.
As my crying persists, I opted to bury my face into my pillow to muffle the horrid sounds coming from my mouth. I’m no doubt getting make up on my clean, white pillows, but what’s the point. How can you care about that when life as you know it is ending? My hair falls over my face as I curl into a ball, silently hoping that Theo won’t be mad that I left him down there. What if he’s mad? Is that why he didn’t immediately follow me? The more I think about it the more I start to hyperventilate; the more I begin to freak out.
I concentrate on taking deep, slow breaths and listening to the soft ticking of the black and white clock on the wall. The yells from downstairs gain volume for a moment when my bedroom door is opened. I can hear the muffled footsteps as the intruder’s feet step in, and the barely audible swish of the door brushing the carpet as it closes. Muffled footsteps make their way around the room to the other side of my queen sized bed. The body with which the footsteps belong sits on the edge of the bed, their weight offset my position.
I feel arms wrap around my waist before pulling me toward the promise of a warm embrace. Theo nuzzles my neck from behind before kissing my shoulder. The familiar smell of him filling my nose in the confined space underneath my blankets; a mixture of his cologne and something woody. In my ear, Theo begins to hum my favorite song, just loud enough for me to hear. Its like a weight has lifted off my chest with his familiarity of him.
That’s my Theo. The boy that hums you to sleep and tells you everything will be okay. The boy that brings you chocolate and good music when you’ve started your time of the month. The boy who will smile in the middle of a kiss and tell you you’re beautiful just because. My ever strong rock anchoring me to the ground; the glue that keeps me from falling apart. Without this boy, my mess of a life would be unbearable.