Care

“John’s coming,” My mom spoke so causally like it didn’t disgust me to here that four letter curse of memories.
“Why?” I tried really hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice, I really did but it came through anyway.
“Care,” James warned. I looked up just to meet my mother’s fiery eyes.
“He is family,”
“Not blood,” I matched her voice; calm and angry.
“Neither are you,” She stood and left the table before I could answer.

She didn’t stay long enough to notice I couldn’t even answer. It was true, I wasn’t blood; my father wanted a daughter. Her dried up ovaries barely pushed Mathew out, she couldn’t handle me so they dropped by the children supermarket. The sad thing is they’re all I knew, I was bought as a baby. Some people say that’s good, I didn’t know a sad abandon life but I still did, even with a family.

-

“Why do you hate John so much?” I just stared at Dan like he was crazy.

-

“Hey everyone,” he had a wide smile and bright blue eyes, shaggy child-like hair he grew out after his time served, a light scruff bread.

Everything about him was happy, it made me sick.

We ate in silence, well I was everyone else wouldn’t shut up. Suddenly no one was left but John and I. I sat up and looked around in confusion then I met John’s eyes.

“They went to do dishes,” it was only then did I notice my plate gone.

I straightened up and looked around, anything to avoid eye contact.

“I’m not gonna bite,” he jokes with a toothy grin.

I’m not amused so it drops into a stern line.

“Why are you here?”
“Your mom invited me,”
“Not just now, you’re always here, don’t you get what you’re doing to this family? We don’t see you John; we see Matt, do you care you’re hurting us? That’s why my mom loves you so much. She sees her dead son in you not anything more or anything less. That’s why I hate you.” I stood and walked away ignoring his hurt expression.

-

“He loves you, you know,”
“Who James?” What the fuck was Dan talking about?
“No, John,”
“You’re on crack,”