Care

Church, what was the use of it?

I looked over at the pew across the aisle and saw her; a little girl around 5 looking behind at me: she had short blond hair in ringlets, big round green eyes just like Matt’s, and porcelain white skin with a small grin attached. She was beautiful. I made a face at her, my tongue stuck out and my eyes crossed. She laughed causing me to smile.

-
“I wonder what she looks like…”
“You and Matthew’s baby,” he stated, “do you think about this a lot?”

-

“When are you two going to have a baby?” I rolled my eyes at Terry and grabbed a beer from the fridge before going to the front porch to drink it.

I stopped seeing it preoccupied by John.

“You can join me,” he said kindly.
“I don’t want to,” I spat back.
“Why do you hate me?”
“You remind me of him!” I didn’t mean to shout it but I did. I sighed while sitting down and taking a sip from the bottle I had.
“I’m sorry,”
“Why are you here? Why do you come around? Why stay?”
“… He asked me to promise him something,”
“What?”
“When we first met. He told me how much you meant to him. He made me promise if anything happened to him I’d look after you…”
“He meant for the funeral.”
“You don’t know how much you meant to him.”
“Did he tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“What he did to me, every night… How he raped me,” tears were flowing down my face now. “How I had to give up our baby, how my parents made me do it. How I dream about her every night. How I wished I could hate him but can’t.” He stared at me unsure of what to say. “Please leave.” And he did.

-

“You told him?”
“Was I not supposed to?”
“No, it was good to tell him how you were feeling, I am proud of you,” Dan gave a small smile.
“Suck a dick.”