I'm Breaking
Tongue Gets Tied
“Don’t you dare come back here tonight!” Slam!
I jumped from my front steps and looked over at the neighbor’s house. Harleigh was sitting on the sidewalk crying. I walked over and wrapped my arms around her. “Sh.” I said, rocking her slightly. It took a few minutes, but she finally quieted down and turned to me. “What happened?” I asked, pushing a bit of her long brown hair behind her ear so I could look into her deep green eyes.
“What always happens? She’s drunk again.” I got up and put my hand out to help her up. She grabbed it lightly and stood beside me. I leaned down and collected the backpack that lay there. “I have no idea what I’m going to do.” She confessed, dusting the nonexistent dirt off her skirt.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my house. “You can have my bed tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch.” My heart raced at the thought of her sleeping in my bed. I lost focus for a moment and tuned into her trying to explain why she couldn’t stay. The thing about Harleigh was, she had a bad habit of explaining things all the time, she’d turn a single word answer into a 3 page essay. “Don’t you dare refuse. My mum won’t mind.” She sighed and followed me into the house.
“Your mom isn’t even here.” I smiled and shrugged. “Where are your sisters? They are usually running around.” She was very observant.
“Mum took them to the movies.” I set her backpack on the table and walked to the kitchen, “Want something to drink?”
“You didn’t want to go with them?”
“No, not really. I’d much rather watch a movie here.” I popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave and grabbed a couple cans of soda. “You’re going to watch movies with me, right?”
“When have I ever refused a movie night with my best friend?” And friend-zoned…again. No matter how much I tried, I could never find a way in with her. Then again, she was already spoken for. Had been since I moved with my mother and sisters to America nearly a year ago. It’s been hard, loving a girl who can’t love you back, who loves someone else. But I guess I was used to it by now. And if anything, having her as a best friend was amazing. We were as close as could be without being physically close. I had to admit, it was painful at times. There were moments I wanted to kiss her. Moments I wanted to tell her the truth. But each time, I shut my emotions off and did my best to remain in the little bubble I was meant to be in.
At first, we didn’t talk much, but then there were nights where she’d be yelling with her mum, she’d run out of the house in tears and sit on the sideway. Always the sidewalk. She’d calm down and sometimes even sleep in the yard.
It was about 7 months ago when I first sat down with her. I was sitting on my porch listening to my music when I heard the door slam. I looked over and saw her sitting on the sidewalk crying. She was wearing just pajama shorts and a tank top. It was the middle of October, so it was cold. My instinct, as a big brother, was to make sure she was okay, make sure she was warm. So I hurried over to her side and offered my hoodie. That was the first time we actually talked outside of school. It was the moment we bonded and became such close friends. I slept beside her on the ground that night.
She was in a relationship, had been for almost 2 years now. He was a varsity football player. And not my kind of football, that was soccer here, but the American football. I never understood why people called it football; you used mainly your hands in this game. But still, he was captain of the team. Jake Ryder. I had problems with him. It wasn’t because he was with the girl I loved, no. It was the fact that when she was lying, shivering and cold, on the sidewalk outside her house, he was nowhere to be found. Before I stepped up, she would curl up under the big oak tree and cry herself to sleep. In the morning, she’d be gone, most likely snuck back in the house at some point. But the point was… he wasn’t there for her when she needed him the most. I never understood that.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by the beeping of the microwave. I poured the contents of the bag into a large bowl and met Harleigh in the living room. She was searching through the shelf of movies. She finally settled on The Mexican. “Really? Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt?” I asked, sitting on the couch.
“Hey, I’m not a big fan of Julia Roberts, but Brad does some really good work on a lot of movies. Fight Club was amazing, Troy, genius. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Besides, this movie is both funny and touching. What other movies do you see a kidnapper and the kidnapped become friends?”
I laughed and popped a piece of popcorn in my mouth, “It’s called Stockholm Syndrome, babe.” She sat down beside me and flicked the end of my nose. “Ow!”
“Did it hurt? Good. I would have hit you harder if you didn’t have that adorable accent.” She smiled and turned back to the TV. “You haven’t even watched the movie. So shut up and enjoy it.” I tossed some popcorn at her and stuck out my tongue.
We quietly watched the movie, only laughing when something was funny. By the end of it, I saw what she was talking about, it was a good movie. The fact that I owned it and never watched it before baffled me.
I took the bowl and cans to the kitchen and came back to Harleigh going through my iPod. “You sing?” She exclaimed, putting the headphones in her ears. I ran over to her and struggled to get the iPod.
“Please…don’t listen.” I begged. Her fingers tightened around the iPod as she smiled and hugged it to her chest. “Har, come on. This isn’t fair!” I whined.
She smiled and started bobbing her head, “You have an amazing voice.” I watched her go through a few more songs before stopping and turning to me, “Who is this?”
I sat down and grabbed one of the headphones; I placed it in my ear as Harry started singing. “This is one of my best mates, Harry.” It was a random voice recording the lads and I took one day. It was a lot of laughing and jokes, but we all started singing and taking turns. Then entire recording was a good 20 minutes. It was the little piece of home I kept when we moved. “The one with a little Indian touch to his accent, that’s Zayn. The Irish one is Niall and the other one, telling us not to break things, that’s Liam.” I listened to Niall screaming about food and Liam complain that we were going to break the laptop. I suddenly missed my friends more.
“You guys sound like fun. You also have really great singing voices.” The recording morphed into a cover of Grenade by Bruno Mars. “Do you guys still talk?” She asked, turning to me.
“Yeah, whenever I can get on and they can get on. It’s hard, but we figure it out.” I gazed at her silently for a few minutes as the song played. She let her eyes meet mine for a while, but looked away. I took a deep breath, “Harleigh?” My heart raced as she looked at me with a small, “Hm?” escaping her lips. “I….” The words were at the tip of my tongue. I felt them dancing there, taunting me. I let my eyes drop and read the word "LOVE" on her shirt. “I….”
“Harleigh!” Lottie yelled, jumping on the couch. Fizzy and the twins soon followed. I smiled at Harleigh quickly before getting up and walking towards my mum. Secretly, I was thankful they came home when they did. I don’t think I could have gone through with telling her the truth. Telling her I loved her.
I jumped from my front steps and looked over at the neighbor’s house. Harleigh was sitting on the sidewalk crying. I walked over and wrapped my arms around her. “Sh.” I said, rocking her slightly. It took a few minutes, but she finally quieted down and turned to me. “What happened?” I asked, pushing a bit of her long brown hair behind her ear so I could look into her deep green eyes.
“What always happens? She’s drunk again.” I got up and put my hand out to help her up. She grabbed it lightly and stood beside me. I leaned down and collected the backpack that lay there. “I have no idea what I’m going to do.” She confessed, dusting the nonexistent dirt off her skirt.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my house. “You can have my bed tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch.” My heart raced at the thought of her sleeping in my bed. I lost focus for a moment and tuned into her trying to explain why she couldn’t stay. The thing about Harleigh was, she had a bad habit of explaining things all the time, she’d turn a single word answer into a 3 page essay. “Don’t you dare refuse. My mum won’t mind.” She sighed and followed me into the house.
“Your mom isn’t even here.” I smiled and shrugged. “Where are your sisters? They are usually running around.” She was very observant.
“Mum took them to the movies.” I set her backpack on the table and walked to the kitchen, “Want something to drink?”
“You didn’t want to go with them?”
“No, not really. I’d much rather watch a movie here.” I popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave and grabbed a couple cans of soda. “You’re going to watch movies with me, right?”
“When have I ever refused a movie night with my best friend?” And friend-zoned…again. No matter how much I tried, I could never find a way in with her. Then again, she was already spoken for. Had been since I moved with my mother and sisters to America nearly a year ago. It’s been hard, loving a girl who can’t love you back, who loves someone else. But I guess I was used to it by now. And if anything, having her as a best friend was amazing. We were as close as could be without being physically close. I had to admit, it was painful at times. There were moments I wanted to kiss her. Moments I wanted to tell her the truth. But each time, I shut my emotions off and did my best to remain in the little bubble I was meant to be in.
At first, we didn’t talk much, but then there were nights where she’d be yelling with her mum, she’d run out of the house in tears and sit on the sideway. Always the sidewalk. She’d calm down and sometimes even sleep in the yard.
It was about 7 months ago when I first sat down with her. I was sitting on my porch listening to my music when I heard the door slam. I looked over and saw her sitting on the sidewalk crying. She was wearing just pajama shorts and a tank top. It was the middle of October, so it was cold. My instinct, as a big brother, was to make sure she was okay, make sure she was warm. So I hurried over to her side and offered my hoodie. That was the first time we actually talked outside of school. It was the moment we bonded and became such close friends. I slept beside her on the ground that night.
She was in a relationship, had been for almost 2 years now. He was a varsity football player. And not my kind of football, that was soccer here, but the American football. I never understood why people called it football; you used mainly your hands in this game. But still, he was captain of the team. Jake Ryder. I had problems with him. It wasn’t because he was with the girl I loved, no. It was the fact that when she was lying, shivering and cold, on the sidewalk outside her house, he was nowhere to be found. Before I stepped up, she would curl up under the big oak tree and cry herself to sleep. In the morning, she’d be gone, most likely snuck back in the house at some point. But the point was… he wasn’t there for her when she needed him the most. I never understood that.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by the beeping of the microwave. I poured the contents of the bag into a large bowl and met Harleigh in the living room. She was searching through the shelf of movies. She finally settled on The Mexican. “Really? Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt?” I asked, sitting on the couch.
“Hey, I’m not a big fan of Julia Roberts, but Brad does some really good work on a lot of movies. Fight Club was amazing, Troy, genius. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Besides, this movie is both funny and touching. What other movies do you see a kidnapper and the kidnapped become friends?”
I laughed and popped a piece of popcorn in my mouth, “It’s called Stockholm Syndrome, babe.” She sat down beside me and flicked the end of my nose. “Ow!”
“Did it hurt? Good. I would have hit you harder if you didn’t have that adorable accent.” She smiled and turned back to the TV. “You haven’t even watched the movie. So shut up and enjoy it.” I tossed some popcorn at her and stuck out my tongue.
We quietly watched the movie, only laughing when something was funny. By the end of it, I saw what she was talking about, it was a good movie. The fact that I owned it and never watched it before baffled me.
I took the bowl and cans to the kitchen and came back to Harleigh going through my iPod. “You sing?” She exclaimed, putting the headphones in her ears. I ran over to her and struggled to get the iPod.
“Please…don’t listen.” I begged. Her fingers tightened around the iPod as she smiled and hugged it to her chest. “Har, come on. This isn’t fair!” I whined.
She smiled and started bobbing her head, “You have an amazing voice.” I watched her go through a few more songs before stopping and turning to me, “Who is this?”
I sat down and grabbed one of the headphones; I placed it in my ear as Harry started singing. “This is one of my best mates, Harry.” It was a random voice recording the lads and I took one day. It was a lot of laughing and jokes, but we all started singing and taking turns. Then entire recording was a good 20 minutes. It was the little piece of home I kept when we moved. “The one with a little Indian touch to his accent, that’s Zayn. The Irish one is Niall and the other one, telling us not to break things, that’s Liam.” I listened to Niall screaming about food and Liam complain that we were going to break the laptop. I suddenly missed my friends more.
“You guys sound like fun. You also have really great singing voices.” The recording morphed into a cover of Grenade by Bruno Mars. “Do you guys still talk?” She asked, turning to me.
“Yeah, whenever I can get on and they can get on. It’s hard, but we figure it out.” I gazed at her silently for a few minutes as the song played. She let her eyes meet mine for a while, but looked away. I took a deep breath, “Harleigh?” My heart raced as she looked at me with a small, “Hm?” escaping her lips. “I….” The words were at the tip of my tongue. I felt them dancing there, taunting me. I let my eyes drop and read the word "LOVE" on her shirt. “I….”
“Harleigh!” Lottie yelled, jumping on the couch. Fizzy and the twins soon followed. I smiled at Harleigh quickly before getting up and walking towards my mum. Secretly, I was thankful they came home when they did. I don’t think I could have gone through with telling her the truth. Telling her I loved her.