I'm Breaking

The boys, Harleigh and I filed out of the car. Everyone was running around in dresses and tuxes. It looked amazing. People were laughing and lined up their groups. We joined the line and started talking amongst ourselves. I intended on heading straight to the dance floor with Harleigh, somewhat hoping she’d fall for me somehow.

My intentions were quickly stepped on and kicked to the side as a semi casually dressed Jake strolled up to the group. I met his gaze as he looked between me and his girlfriend. He pursed his lips as he noticed the corsage on her wrist. She didn’t notice him until his arms went around her waist from the back, lifting her up with ease and spinning her around. She laughed and the moment her feet touched the ground, she was kissing him. I looked at Harry and acted as if I didn’t notice. But deep inside, my heart was breaking.

He gazed into her eyes and slipped the flower off her wrist, tossing it at me, “I’ve got you one.” He pulled out a tacky purple colored corsage. The flowers were wilting and it was nearly falling apart. He slipped it on her wrist and she smiled, thanking him. “Well, let’s get in this dance! You guys can follow me, I know the person checking tickets.”

Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn quickly followed behind him. I stood there for a moment, playing with one of the roses in the corsage. When no one noticed my absence, I quickly jogged up behind them and watched Jake perform his “magic”.

The girl checking tickets was tall and blonde. Jake left Harleigh to talk with Liam as he approached the girl. My ears were focused on his conversation, “Let my friends and I in and we can meet up later, how about it?” I heard rumors of him flirting with other girls, but I never thought he actually did it. Whether he followed through with his offers or not, it was a form of cheating and it really bothered me. I wanted to say something to Harleigh about it for the longest time, but I never had a clue if it was real or just a stupid rumor. I shoved my hands in my pockets and kept quiet, for now.

The girl quickly let us all in and we entered the gym. Lights were flashing different colors. Blue, green, red, yellow, white, purple, pink. The music was loud and the DJ was having a blast. The center of the gym was covered with people. Jake quickly dragged Harleigh to the dance floor.

I sat at the side with the guys and watched them. He held her close, grinding on her. She seemed to try and push away, but gave in quickly. Soon enough, they were as close as physically possible. I turned to Niall, hoping maybe he had something good in his pocket. “Tell me you brought a flask.” I said in his ear, eyeing the room for teachers and chaperones. Niall slipped a small chrome flask from his pocket.

“Don’t go anywhere without it.” He smiled, “Mix it, don’t want you getting in too much trouble tonight.” He winked and turned to the punch bowl. He grabbed me a cup and filled it with punch. He grabbed a few more cups and handed them to the others. Liam covered the top of his indicating he didn’t want anything, but Zayn, Harry and I held out our cups and waited for Niall to pour us a little of his special stuff. He slipped the flask back in his pocket and sat down.

I quickly downed the entire cup. I sat down and watched as the song changed from the fast upbeat tune to a slow song. I scoffed and grabbed some more punch. I managed to get some more alcohol from Niall. He watched me closely, “This stuff will mess you up quick, mate. I’d be easy.” I smiled slightly and nodded before downing the drink again.

I blew air through my lips and let my eyes set on Jake and Harleigh again. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her head on his shoulder. His left hand moved dangerously close to her bum. I burped slightly and cringed as my throat burned. The boys found themselves someone to dance with. I sat back and casually stole sips of their drinks. I could feel the alcohol moving through my system, numbing me. I closed my eyes and let it do its magic.

Before long, someone was standing over me. I could feel their presence. I opened my eyes and smiled at the tiny red head. “Hey, Louis. Sorry I stood you up. Karma got the best of me though; my new date stood me up.” Emily bit her lip and I laughed.

“It’s s’all good.” I said, covering my mouth and giggling at the slur. “Shit happens.” I let the “s” drag out. Emily nodded and looked at me cautiously.

“Are you drunk?” She asked. I quickly stood up, nearly slipping, and covered her mouth. I lifted my free hand and pressed the index finger to my lips. I moved my hand, “You realize you can get in a lot of trouble right?”

“S’all good, babe. Jus’ have some fun.” The words were coming out distorted and jumbled. Emily backed up slightly. “Let’s dance!” I exclaimed.

“Um, no, I…I have to go to the bathroom.”She turned and rushed off. I rolled my eyes and fell back in the chair. I laughed and looked out at the group of kids on the dance floor.

Harry soon joined me as a fast song started playing. “You going to just sit there all night?” He asked, drinking some of his punch. I nodded and let my head roll around a bit. “Are you plastered already?” I laughed and nodded again. “We’ve been here less than an hour, Lou. What the hell? You’re mum is going to kill me.” He grabbed my arm and a bottle of water. He took us outside and shoved the bottle in my face. “Drink.”

I pouted and sneered at the bottle.”I don’ wanna.” Harry sighed and opened the bottle, splashing a bit at my face. I flailed my hands and growled at him. “Fine!” I took the bottle and downed it.

“Now we need to get some food in you.” I crossed my arms and followed him back inside. He grabbed some things off the table and handed them to me. I glared at him before eating them obediently.

“You guys okay?” A voice said, I looked behind Harry and smiled at Harleigh. She looked genuinely concerned.

“Louis’ decided to dip into Niall’s flask a bit more than he should have.” Harry said.

“You were drinking? Really, Tomlinson?” She turned to Harry, “You have him?”

“I’m usually hammered with him, so a little help wouldn’t be so bad, I need to use the men’s room anyway.” He winked at Harleigh as he rushed off toward the gym doors.

Har sighed and sat beside me. I looked around for her “wonderful” Jake and spotted him with the rest of the team. I burped another nasty burp and groaned. “You’re so stupid, Lou.” She glared at me and I frowned.

“S’not my fault.” I said.

“Yes it is. You chose to drink a lot.”

I rolled my eyes. “I did. But tha s’not wha I’m talkin’ ‘bout.” I filled my cheeks with air as I realized how screwed my speech was. I let the air out and looked at Harleigh as she waited for an explanation. I sighed and concentrated on the words that I spoke. I wanted them to make sense. “Jake is a dog.” Harleigh looked hurt, she leaned back and blinked a few times. “You know how he got us in?” I was doing well at talking, at this point. Anger filled my voice though.

“Shut up, Louis.” She threatened. I threw my hands up.

“He’s going to hook up with tall, blond and bimbo, out there. You’re not stupid.” I sounded like a little kid, just then, but I didn’t stop, “You’re a play thing, Harleigh. You are a doll for him. He doesn’t care. I mean, look at that corsage, it’s nearly just a band now, and does he come to sit with you when your mom kicks you out? He treats you like a booty call.”

A small hand met my face; I turned my head and looked at the ground. When I was able to straighten up, I saw the tears streaming down her face. “How dare you?” She glared at me.

I reached out to her, but she swatted my hands away. “Jesus, Harleigh. I’m just telling you the truth.”

“You’re drunk.” She fought back.

“Maybe, but I’m not blind.” I kicked the chair slightly and ran my fingers through my hair. “I love you, he doesn’t. I love you; I love you more than anything.”

She blew up then, “You are an ass. How dare you accuse my boyfriend of cheating and then tell me you love me? I don’t get it, Tomlinson. You are my best friend. You are not supposed to be hurting me. You know what? I’m going home, don’t call me, and don’t come over. Don’t talk to me again.” She grabbed her bag off the chair and rushed out of the gym. I went to follow her, but Harry and Liam had me. I struggled against their grips, but gave up.

They walked me out to the car, Zayn and Niall soon joined. I sat in the backseat with my head in my hands and cried. I ruined it. I ruined my friendship with Harleigh; I ruined any chance I had with her. She didn’t want to see me anymore. She didn’t want to talk to me. She wanted nothing from me. I did this.