***

“Are you alright?”

I turn away from Ed’s figure but am not able to shut out the lyrics that seem to be dipping long fingers into my chest and squeezing on my heart as another set thumps my brain, reminding me that I am the center of that entire song he was currently strumming out the chords to. Tears leak out of my eyes unwillingly and without my full knowledge, but Harry catches the things sliding down my cheek and pulls me father into the wing of the stage. We’re hiding in darkness now but there’s an echo that turns up the volume of his friends soothing voice and blares the words louder.

I wonder if this is what a panic attack feels like, but abandon the idea for the sake of sanity, knowing that the very thought of having such a thing would make me more frantic. Struggling to breathe, I let him ease me down onto something and am glad when he doesn’t try to talk or reach out to me. A moment to compose myself was all I needed, really; when that moment was going to pass, though, I figured I would never know because this was my life now. Getting myself into hard situations because I’m not smart and then having to fight my way out and then being left alone because, again, I’m not the brightest.

Sighing, I push pieces of my hair away from my face and search for Harry’s glowing orbs in the darkness. I find them watching me just a few feet away, where he appears to be hunched over and studying my fave while he bites his lip. I smile at this, a pathetic sort of thing, and sniffle.

“I’m okay,” I whisper. “I just… I just need a moment.”

“Right… Sure, sure—a moment.” He’s murmuring, a husky sort of sound that makes my grin spread over my lips. Dropping down in front of my feet, he swishes his curly hair out of his face while squinting up at me. “Was it the song?”

I swallow, wondering if I should convey my thoughts or just come up with a lie. Obviously I knew that he could probably figure it all for himself, so I choose to just be honest, ignoring how the little voices fight over whether or not this is the right or wrong choice.

“Yea,” I croak, fumbling my fingers together while I try to pick at my nail bed. “I wasn’t expecting him to sing a song like that.”

“Did it offend you?”

“Oh, no! It was beautiful, really. I just never expected him to sing something so beautiful about a person who is so dirty. Most of the time when people sing about girls like me, it’s in a rap song and we’re being bought for a thousand dollars or something.”

A deep hum escapes his chest but doesn’t break past his lips; it rumbles up from deep within and rattles out while he nudges himself closer to me. I think that he may reach for my hand, in fact I make out three of his long, pale fingers in the dank darkness, but then he’s folding them back into himself. Again the little voices in my head argue over whether that was what I wanted or not, but I just ignore them.

“Well, I think that ‘dirty’ image you think of is something you’ve given yourself. I don’t see a dirty girl when I look at you, Delaney, and I’m sure others don’t either.”

I scoff at this and chuckle humorlessly. “You obviously haven’t seen the sneers and frowns that I have, then. Last night, people were cursing at me or trying to buy me for a few bucks, Harry. They weren’t saying I was beautiful or any shit like that.”

“I’ve told you about those people already, though, Delaney. They’re the disgusting ones, alright? You don’t judge someone you don’t know and you certainly don’t curse at a girl who needs help.”

“I didn’t need help,” I mumble.

“You were bleeding everywhere and could barely walk.”

Sighing, I give him that, but start to feel as I calm down some and as the protective shell that usually encases me starts back up again. No longer vulnerable or needing his soft words, I straighten up and clear my throat a little.

“Thanks.”

“For what,” he confusingly questions.

“Everything.”

I don’t like admitting when I need help or accepting help or even thanking people who help me, but Harry deserved this little bit. I couldn’t pay him because I had no money and he didn’t want me in a sexual way (this I’d figured out after spending a night in his hotel room and being able to sleep through because he wasn’t demanding I come out and fuck him) , so this small thing was all I could offer.

He’s smiling now, that much I can gather in the blanket of black we’re sitting in, and then gently touching my shoulder, gesturing that I follow him. Instead of heading back up to the lit part of the wing, he steers me through a door that rests under a green exit sign and then out to a cool parking lot. It wasn’t where he’d parked his hot little Audi, but there are a slew of swanky cars and a few inhabitants littered around.

“Where are we going?”

Turning, he slows his pace and allows me to catch up while flashing a smile. “I don’t know, but I didn’t think you’d like to stay and hear that song anymore. Maybe’s there’s a place to eat or something close by.”

A small grin filters onto my mouth, but I don’t say anything, just try to keep up with his long strides and help with finding an In-N-Out burger joint. I really had wanted to go back and hear the rest of it, but Harry was right in thinking that I shouldn’t listen to anymore. Probably would’ve ended up in a sobbing mess and would’ve had to be carried out by him if any more of those words had reached me.



Just five minutes after we’ve left the venue his friend had filled up with the announcement of his presence and there’s two trays of food resting on a small table near the back of the oh-so famous hamburger place. It’s empty, resonating last night’s events, but we fill it with our chatter and laughter and loud chewing.

“So give me the name of one of your bands’ songs.”

He stuffs a few French fries into his mouth as I speak and grins a closed-lipped smile.

“Well, uhm,” he speaks after having swallowed. “We’re working on a new album now, actually, but one of our past songs—and remember when I said that we were more popular with young girls, okay?” When I nod, grinning wickedly, he sighs but continues. “There was one that was sort of big for us called What Makes You Beautiful.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Will you sing a verse for me?”

Obviously startled, he chokes a little on his milkshake, his green eyes going wide. “No!”

“Why not,” I frown.

“Because you wouldn’t like it.”

Scoffing, I roll my eyes and lean farther over the table. “Harry, you don’t know what I like.”

“I know that you wouldn’t like it, okay?”

I drop the subject, even though his tone was still full of humor and warm, deciding that it was time to return the favor and not push him—to be patient like he was being with me.

As we go back to eating and talking about other things, in the back of my mind I realize that he was just as guarded as I was .He was just better at concealing the things he didn’t want to share, whereas I was shit at keeping them uncovered.

Maybe he’d get me to open up, but maybe I’d get him too as well.