Status: Complete
The Stars Lean Down to Kiss You
And I Lie Awake and Miss You
“I’ll call you when I get there.” He whispered to me as he held me close as we waited in the terminal for his train to be called. I blushed as I looked into those crystal clear blue eyes that I loved so much. “No you will not.” I replied softly with a smirk. I knew that he was quite forgetful when it came to things such as this and would probably call me a week after he arrived. He leaned down and kissed the top of my forehead. “I will. Believe me when I say that I love you Stephanie.” He said to me, looking me in the eye with a sad smile. I felt a tear fall down my face. “I love you too Lou.” I answered before hugging him tightly. “Attention passengers, the 1:15 train to London is now boarding at track 2.” Some lady over the intercom announced, making my heart break even more.
“I guess this is goodbye Lou.” I whispered, my voice cracking as the tears began to fall. “Hey, hey. I don’t want to hear that. This isn’t goodbye, just a see you later.” He said as he cupped my face in his hands. He wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs and leaned in, placing a small kiss against my lips. “I’ll always love you Stephanie Anne Monroe.” He whispered as he pulled away. “And I’ll always love you, Louis William Tomlinson.” I replied softly. “You better go; wouldn’t want to miss your train. You’re going to be amazing. Wish the rest of the boys luck for me as well, yeah?” I asked him. He smiled and nodded, kissing my forehead once more before running to catch his train. As he climbed on, he turned to me and gave a small wave, a sad smile on his face. I sighed as the tears began to fall while I watched the train pull out of the station.
Two Years Later
That was the last time I saw him. He had left our little town of Doncaster to pursue his dreams on the X-Factor. The day he left was the day he’d be meeting the rest of the boys he would end up being grouped with by Simon Cowell for the competition, becoming One Direction. We broke up about five weeks into the competition. He didn’t want to hold me back from having a life; he didn’t want me waiting for him. So, aside from seeing his interviews on TV or his music videos on YouTube I haven’t seen the boy who had been and still was the love of my life. We were seventeen, nearly eighteen when he left and I’m guessing that you’re wondering how I could possibly believe that he was the love of my life. We had grown up together and I guess from the very start, we had always been in love with one another, though we didn’t start to date until we were fifteen. Also the fact that even though we broke up two years ago, and I still am as in love with him as I was back then is proof enough that he is the love of my life.
Anyway, moving on from that, I am now twenty years old and living in London. I am studying International Relations at the famous Kings College and live in a flat with my friends Cecelia and Melissa, who were both studying music; Cecelia was studying music management, while Melissa was a vocal performance major. Today just happened to be the last day of classes for the week for all three of us and I was meeting the two of them at the nearest café for a bit of lunch. “Steph! Over here!” Cecelia called, her dirty blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. Melissa sat beside her, writing something down in a notebook and I smiled, knowing she was writing another song. “Hey guys.” I said as I sat down and looked over the menu to order something. We kept up a casual conversation going until the two of them suddenly became quiet and seemingly nervous.
“Alright, what’s going on?” I asked them, as they just fiddled with their fingers and exchanged nervous glances. Cecelia finally sighed and Melissa looked down at her lap. “Do you want to tell her or should I?” Cecelia asked as Melissa looked up at her. “Tell me what?” I asked, suddenly getting nervous. It was Natalie’s turn to sigh now. “I’ll do it; Steph, promise me you won’t get upset.” She said as she turned to face me. “You guys are starting to scare me.” I said nervously and they both looked at me with sad eyes. “Well, we have new neighbors.” Melissa said to me. I rolled my eyes. “And why would that bother me?” I asked as I finished my sandwich. Cecelia sighed. “Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are our new neighbors.” She replied and my heart dropped. Cecelia and Melissa both knew of my past with Louis and how broken he had left me. “Great.” I replied before getting up and running the two blocks back to our flat.
I ran so quickly, tears in my eyes that I didn’t see the person coming out of the lift as I ran inside, bumping into them. “I-I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I said softly, wiping my eyes as I stepped back. “’It’s alright love.” An all too familiar voice replied, causing me to look up. The minute our eyes met, his jaw dropped. “Steph?” he whispered, sparkling blue eyes wide. That was enough for me to quickly run into the lift just before it shut, pressing floor 3 and collapsing against the wall with tears streaming down my face. Once I got to the flat, I all but ran inside closing the door just as Louis called out my name again, having run up the stairs. Just when I was starting to feel okay again, he shows up. I threw myself into my bedroom and just cried until the tears just stopped coming.
Louis’ POV
I watched as she ran from me to her door. She was just as beautiful as she was the last time I saw her. Her mum did mention that she had moved to London for school, but never in a million years did I think I’d end up living in the same building as her. Stephanie was the girl that I let slip away. I know I shouldn’t have ended things with her, but I did that because I didn’t want her waiting around for me while I pursued my dreams. I wanted her to go out into the world and live her dreams, not sit at home waiting for me to return from the show. I let her go purely because I was afraid that while I was gone, she’d meet someone who was better for her than I was and that she’d feel that she needed to stay with me because I needed her support. For the past two years, despite meeting the lads and gaining four new families, four brothers, and becoming a worldwide sensation, I’ve been miserable without my Steph.
Stephanie was always the girl who was there to cheer me on. We were best friends first before I finally mucked up the courage to ask her to be my bird when we were fifteen years old. She is and always has been my inspiration, my light. Nothing’s been the same without her. These past two years have been nothing but torture for me, and I can only imagine what it’s done to her. By the looks of it, I’ve messed up royally. I needed to get her back but first to figure out how I was to do that.
Stephanie’s POV
I spent most of the rest of my day holed up in my room, crying into my pillow. It wasn’t until I heard Cecelia and Melissa come home that I emerged from my sanctuary. I walked into the kitchen as the two of them talked, both of them sending me sympathetic smiles. “I saw him when I came back. And he just stared at me. Like he couldn’t believe I was on the same planet as him. Was our relationship that meaningless to him?” I said, the tears coming again as I sat at the breakfast bar. Cecelia immediately came to my side and sat down, hugging me just as there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Melissa said as she left the room. I heard her gasp and a muffled voice asking to come in. I heard the door shut and Natalie came back in followed by a head of curls that I recognized from having watched X-Factor and from the countless times he’d crash my Skype sessions with Lou. His green eyes gazed over at me and smiled.
“Now what is a beautiful bird like you crying for?” he said, his voice much deeper than I remembered asked as he came up to me, wiping my eyes. “Harry Styles you better have a good reason for being here.” I said, trying to sound angry. In the time before Lou dumped me, while on X-Factor, Harry and I had become great friends via Skype. It seems that when I lost importance to Lou, Harry just disappeared from my life as well. He frowned. “I’m sorry for being a total wanker, love. I honestly am. It was just so hard to get a moment in, and then there was Louis.” He said softly, causing more tears to fall down my face. He sighed and pulled me into his body, Cecelia and Melissa quietly leaving the room.
“You know, he’s been kicking himself in the ass everyday since he broke up with you. You still are the most important thing to him.” He whispered in my ear as I sobbed into his shirt. “Impossible. He hasn’t spoken to me since that day and all of a sudden he’s living right down the bloody hall from me and I’m just supposed to act like I’m okay? I can’t do this Harry. I still love him, but I shouldn’t.” I cried as he rubbed my back. “It’s gonna be okay love. Listen, we have a show tonight. Come and talk to him. Please? It would mean a lot to me if you came.” He asked me, his green eyes going into puppy mode. “I don’t know Harry…” I trailed off. “Please? The other lads never got the chance to meet you and plus your mate, erm Melissa? She’s pretty fit, she can come too and the other girl, Cecelia.” He said, causing me to laugh. “Fine. But you owe me Styles.” I replied after a minute or so of making him wait. “You won’t regret it love, I promise! I’ll send a car for the three of you in about two hours!” He said before kissing my cheek and running from the flat. What have I just gotten myself into?
Two and a Half Hours Later
I stood in the front row of the arena, Melissa and Cecelia by my side as we waited for the show to start. My stomach did flip-flops as my nerves took over. “I shouldn’t be here.” I said to my two best friends as I stood between them. They both turned to face me. “Nonsense! You look amazing and you’re here with us. Everything is going to be fine!” Melissa assured me just as the teenagers surrounding us started screaming louder as the music started. The lights in the room dimmed and the intro music began. Before I could even think to look away, the five boys of One Direction came running out onto the stage causing the entire room to fill with screams. Harry made his way towards where we were standing and smiled at me before winking at Melissa. She blushed as the boys started to sing.
My eyes travelled to beside Harry where my former best friend and boyfriend stood, faking a smile as he danced along and did what he loved with his band mates. The fact that he was faking a smile broke my heart as Cecelia and Melissa attempted to get me to enjoy myself. But it was just impossible. I was miserable, Lou was obviously miserable after our encounter earlier today. The concert went on and I felt my heart breaking more and more as I watched the boy, now man, I still loved faking smiles as hundreds of girls screamed for him and his four best friends. “Mel, Cece; I don’t think I can do this. I need to go.” I said to both of them. They looked at me with sad eyes as I tried to get out of the crowd. “Now ladies, time for a cover from the one, the only Louis ‘The Tommo’ Tomlinson! Take it away BooBear!” Harry said earning a fake glare from Louis for using the term of endearment his mother had given him when we were kids.
“Two years ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life…” he started. The crowd gasped. “No, no – I’m not talking about auditioning for the X-Factor. That was one of the best decisions I had ever made. No, my biggest mistake was letting go of the person who means more to me than anything in the world, the person who stuck by me through the good and the bad. I saw this person for the first time in two years earlier today and it only made me realize how much pain I’ve caused to not only myself but to her as well. So Stephie, if you’re out there this is a special song just for you.” He said to the crowd as the familiar music to my favorite song, Vanilla Twilight by Owl City began.
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
He sang the song with so much emotion and it brought tears to my eyes. I remember when he had sung the song to me for my sixteenth birthday, because I had loved it so much. It brought back so many memories and only reminded me of how sad and lonely I’ve been since he left and since we had broken up. When I’m awake at night, I ponder whether or not he’s lying awake, missing me as much as I miss him. As much as I try to move on, I just can’t because my life is just not the same. Without Lou in my life, I’m just not the Stephanie I used to be.
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)
I'll think of you tonight
I kept my eyes on Louis as he sang his heart out, my own breaking with each word. I knew what I had to do once the show was over. I knew that although I shouldn’t still want him after what he had done, I needed him in my life and he needed me in his. Although I didn’t know it before, I realized now that he had let me go because he didn’t want to hold me back from having a life that he only broke up with me because he thought I could do better. Silly boy.
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear:
"Oh darling I wish you were here"
He finished the song and the crowd erupted into cheers before the boys went on with the rest of their set. The tears were still falling down my face as the boys ended their set and it was time for Melissa, Cecelia, and I to make our way backstage. We showed the bodyguard our passes and were let inside the green room where another girl was sitting. She wore a four-leaf clover necklace around her neck and smiled at us once we entered the room. “Harry mentioned there would be three of you coming tonight. My name is Dawn, I’m Niall’s girlfriend.” She introduced herself, shaking our hands. We all introduced ourselves before we sat down and we explained how we, or should I say, I knew the boys. She smiled.
“So you’re the bird Lou constantly talks about.” She stated as she looked at me. I nodded. “I guess so.” I replied softly as we waited for the lads to come into the room. “Well, don’t worry love. He’s going to be so happy to see you.” She said just as the door opened to reveal Harry and Niall, who immediately greeted his girlfriend. Harry looked at me with a small smile as he made his way over to the girls and I. “Louis’ still in the dressing room. Go out the hall and make a left; it’ll be the second door on your right.” He said to me, hugging me tight.
I pulled away from the hug just as Zayn and Liam walked into the room. I gave them each a small smile, even though they didn’t know who I was before making the short walk down the hall to the dressing room. I must have stood in front of the door for about five minutes, contemplating on whether or not I should knock. I finally bucked up the courage to make my presence known. I gently knocked on the door twice. “Come in.” I heard his voice faintly through the door.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. I walked into the room, shutting the door behind me quietly. Louis had his back to me but he was hunched over on a couch, his head in his hands. I cleared my throat, making my presence known. He lifted his head and turned as he stood up, his eyes widening as he looked at me. My breath caught in my throat as his blue eyes pierced through mine. “Hey.” I let out in a shaky breath. “Y-you’re here.” He stammered out. I nodded. “Harry told me you had a show tonight so here I am.” I said softly.
We still stood about five feet from each other as we just looked at one another. He still looked the same as he had when I had seen him off two years ago. The only difference was the slight stubble on his chin, and his once lively blue orbs were now dull and unhappy. “So you heard…” he trailed off to which I nodded again. “It was beautiful Lou, but I just want to know why? Why did you leave me?” I asked him softly as the tears started to form. At the sight of the tears in my eyes, he swiftly crossed the room and took me into his arms, which I did not object. The tears fell down my face as he brought me over to the couch and just held me as I sobbed into his shirt. “Why did you let my go Louis? Did you not want me anymore?” I whispered. He immediately pulled back, and lifted my chin so that I was looking him straight in the eyes. “Never think that. I have and always will want you. I just didn’t want to hold you back from having a life, Stephanie.” He replied.
I looked into his cerulean eyes as I saw the tears were forming in them as well. “Lou, you were never holding me back. Even though we were apart, you were and always will be my life. Yes, it hurt to miss you so much, but that just makes it so much better when we finally do get to see each other again. I’ve spent each night for the past two years, lying awake in my bed just missing you. And I’ve missed you so much Lou. Seeing you today? That was probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I know I ran from you but I only did that because I was scared. But now here I am in front of you and I’m still scared. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose you again and I don’t think I can handle that. I love you too much to just let you give me up again.” I whispered to him. The tears were still falling down my face as his hand reached up, cupping my cheek and wiping the tears with his thumb. “Guess I won’t be letting you go then, hmm?” he said with a smirk as the tears streamed down his face as well. I smiled. “I guess not.” I replied softly. “I love you Stephanie.” He whispered. “I love you too Louis.” I answered just as our lips crashed together.
Ten Years Later
“Alexander Michael Tomlinson! Get in here!” I called to my five-year-old son as I held his teary-eyed three-year-old sister, Jacqueline Olivia, in my arms. Two second later, a little boy with shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes slowly walked into the room, guilt written all over his face. “Yes mummy?” he asked quietly. I smiled, he was so much like his father especially when he knew he was in trouble. “Sweetheart, I believe you owe Jackie an apology.” I cooed softly, knowing he knew he was wrong. Alex, or Zander as I preferred to call him, slowly walked up to his sister and I. “I’m sorry Jackie.” He whispered, holding his arms out and hugging her. I looked down at my little girl, the spitting image of me. “You okay now Jax?” I asked softly and she nodded, jumping into her brother’s arms. “Now, why don’t you two wash up for dinner? Daddy should be home from the studio soon.” I said with a wide smile. They smiled and took off running
After that kiss we shared ten years ago, Louis and I picked up right where we left off. Two years later, he asked me to marry him and a year after that at the age of twenty-three we said ‘I Do.’ Two years later, when we were twenty-five, we had Alex. Let me tell you, a world tour with an infant was an interesting experience. Alex was born about a month before the tour started so we were home in London when we welcomed him into the world. When Alex was two, Jax was born. This time though, Louis and the boys were on break and we were able to be together as a family without having to worry about constantly moving cities or having a cranky toddler and screaming infant on a tour bus. And now here we are, married seven years with two beautiful children; Zander, who is just like his father, is my momma’s boy while Jax has her father wrapped around her tiny finger. Our life together is good.
“Daddy’s home!!!” I heard my husband’s voice sound through the house and soon felt his strong arms wrap around my waist. “I love you.” He whispered in my ear. I smiled. “I love you too.” I whispered as his hands rubbed my growing stomach; I was currently four months pregnant, with twins. “And I love you too.” He said, turning me around so he could talk to my stomach. I giggled as he kissed my belly before standing up right and placing a kiss on my lips, just as our kids came running into the room, attaching themselves to our legs as they laughed. Life is good.
“I guess this is goodbye Lou.” I whispered, my voice cracking as the tears began to fall. “Hey, hey. I don’t want to hear that. This isn’t goodbye, just a see you later.” He said as he cupped my face in his hands. He wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs and leaned in, placing a small kiss against my lips. “I’ll always love you Stephanie Anne Monroe.” He whispered as he pulled away. “And I’ll always love you, Louis William Tomlinson.” I replied softly. “You better go; wouldn’t want to miss your train. You’re going to be amazing. Wish the rest of the boys luck for me as well, yeah?” I asked him. He smiled and nodded, kissing my forehead once more before running to catch his train. As he climbed on, he turned to me and gave a small wave, a sad smile on his face. I sighed as the tears began to fall while I watched the train pull out of the station.
Two Years Later
That was the last time I saw him. He had left our little town of Doncaster to pursue his dreams on the X-Factor. The day he left was the day he’d be meeting the rest of the boys he would end up being grouped with by Simon Cowell for the competition, becoming One Direction. We broke up about five weeks into the competition. He didn’t want to hold me back from having a life; he didn’t want me waiting for him. So, aside from seeing his interviews on TV or his music videos on YouTube I haven’t seen the boy who had been and still was the love of my life. We were seventeen, nearly eighteen when he left and I’m guessing that you’re wondering how I could possibly believe that he was the love of my life. We had grown up together and I guess from the very start, we had always been in love with one another, though we didn’t start to date until we were fifteen. Also the fact that even though we broke up two years ago, and I still am as in love with him as I was back then is proof enough that he is the love of my life.
Anyway, moving on from that, I am now twenty years old and living in London. I am studying International Relations at the famous Kings College and live in a flat with my friends Cecelia and Melissa, who were both studying music; Cecelia was studying music management, while Melissa was a vocal performance major. Today just happened to be the last day of classes for the week for all three of us and I was meeting the two of them at the nearest café for a bit of lunch. “Steph! Over here!” Cecelia called, her dirty blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. Melissa sat beside her, writing something down in a notebook and I smiled, knowing she was writing another song. “Hey guys.” I said as I sat down and looked over the menu to order something. We kept up a casual conversation going until the two of them suddenly became quiet and seemingly nervous.
“Alright, what’s going on?” I asked them, as they just fiddled with their fingers and exchanged nervous glances. Cecelia finally sighed and Melissa looked down at her lap. “Do you want to tell her or should I?” Cecelia asked as Melissa looked up at her. “Tell me what?” I asked, suddenly getting nervous. It was Natalie’s turn to sigh now. “I’ll do it; Steph, promise me you won’t get upset.” She said as she turned to face me. “You guys are starting to scare me.” I said nervously and they both looked at me with sad eyes. “Well, we have new neighbors.” Melissa said to me. I rolled my eyes. “And why would that bother me?” I asked as I finished my sandwich. Cecelia sighed. “Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are our new neighbors.” She replied and my heart dropped. Cecelia and Melissa both knew of my past with Louis and how broken he had left me. “Great.” I replied before getting up and running the two blocks back to our flat.
I ran so quickly, tears in my eyes that I didn’t see the person coming out of the lift as I ran inside, bumping into them. “I-I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I said softly, wiping my eyes as I stepped back. “’It’s alright love.” An all too familiar voice replied, causing me to look up. The minute our eyes met, his jaw dropped. “Steph?” he whispered, sparkling blue eyes wide. That was enough for me to quickly run into the lift just before it shut, pressing floor 3 and collapsing against the wall with tears streaming down my face. Once I got to the flat, I all but ran inside closing the door just as Louis called out my name again, having run up the stairs. Just when I was starting to feel okay again, he shows up. I threw myself into my bedroom and just cried until the tears just stopped coming.
Louis’ POV
I watched as she ran from me to her door. She was just as beautiful as she was the last time I saw her. Her mum did mention that she had moved to London for school, but never in a million years did I think I’d end up living in the same building as her. Stephanie was the girl that I let slip away. I know I shouldn’t have ended things with her, but I did that because I didn’t want her waiting around for me while I pursued my dreams. I wanted her to go out into the world and live her dreams, not sit at home waiting for me to return from the show. I let her go purely because I was afraid that while I was gone, she’d meet someone who was better for her than I was and that she’d feel that she needed to stay with me because I needed her support. For the past two years, despite meeting the lads and gaining four new families, four brothers, and becoming a worldwide sensation, I’ve been miserable without my Steph.
Stephanie was always the girl who was there to cheer me on. We were best friends first before I finally mucked up the courage to ask her to be my bird when we were fifteen years old. She is and always has been my inspiration, my light. Nothing’s been the same without her. These past two years have been nothing but torture for me, and I can only imagine what it’s done to her. By the looks of it, I’ve messed up royally. I needed to get her back but first to figure out how I was to do that.
Stephanie’s POV
I spent most of the rest of my day holed up in my room, crying into my pillow. It wasn’t until I heard Cecelia and Melissa come home that I emerged from my sanctuary. I walked into the kitchen as the two of them talked, both of them sending me sympathetic smiles. “I saw him when I came back. And he just stared at me. Like he couldn’t believe I was on the same planet as him. Was our relationship that meaningless to him?” I said, the tears coming again as I sat at the breakfast bar. Cecelia immediately came to my side and sat down, hugging me just as there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Melissa said as she left the room. I heard her gasp and a muffled voice asking to come in. I heard the door shut and Natalie came back in followed by a head of curls that I recognized from having watched X-Factor and from the countless times he’d crash my Skype sessions with Lou. His green eyes gazed over at me and smiled.
“Now what is a beautiful bird like you crying for?” he said, his voice much deeper than I remembered asked as he came up to me, wiping my eyes. “Harry Styles you better have a good reason for being here.” I said, trying to sound angry. In the time before Lou dumped me, while on X-Factor, Harry and I had become great friends via Skype. It seems that when I lost importance to Lou, Harry just disappeared from my life as well. He frowned. “I’m sorry for being a total wanker, love. I honestly am. It was just so hard to get a moment in, and then there was Louis.” He said softly, causing more tears to fall down my face. He sighed and pulled me into his body, Cecelia and Melissa quietly leaving the room.
“You know, he’s been kicking himself in the ass everyday since he broke up with you. You still are the most important thing to him.” He whispered in my ear as I sobbed into his shirt. “Impossible. He hasn’t spoken to me since that day and all of a sudden he’s living right down the bloody hall from me and I’m just supposed to act like I’m okay? I can’t do this Harry. I still love him, but I shouldn’t.” I cried as he rubbed my back. “It’s gonna be okay love. Listen, we have a show tonight. Come and talk to him. Please? It would mean a lot to me if you came.” He asked me, his green eyes going into puppy mode. “I don’t know Harry…” I trailed off. “Please? The other lads never got the chance to meet you and plus your mate, erm Melissa? She’s pretty fit, she can come too and the other girl, Cecelia.” He said, causing me to laugh. “Fine. But you owe me Styles.” I replied after a minute or so of making him wait. “You won’t regret it love, I promise! I’ll send a car for the three of you in about two hours!” He said before kissing my cheek and running from the flat. What have I just gotten myself into?
Two and a Half Hours Later
I stood in the front row of the arena, Melissa and Cecelia by my side as we waited for the show to start. My stomach did flip-flops as my nerves took over. “I shouldn’t be here.” I said to my two best friends as I stood between them. They both turned to face me. “Nonsense! You look amazing and you’re here with us. Everything is going to be fine!” Melissa assured me just as the teenagers surrounding us started screaming louder as the music started. The lights in the room dimmed and the intro music began. Before I could even think to look away, the five boys of One Direction came running out onto the stage causing the entire room to fill with screams. Harry made his way towards where we were standing and smiled at me before winking at Melissa. She blushed as the boys started to sing.
My eyes travelled to beside Harry where my former best friend and boyfriend stood, faking a smile as he danced along and did what he loved with his band mates. The fact that he was faking a smile broke my heart as Cecelia and Melissa attempted to get me to enjoy myself. But it was just impossible. I was miserable, Lou was obviously miserable after our encounter earlier today. The concert went on and I felt my heart breaking more and more as I watched the boy, now man, I still loved faking smiles as hundreds of girls screamed for him and his four best friends. “Mel, Cece; I don’t think I can do this. I need to go.” I said to both of them. They looked at me with sad eyes as I tried to get out of the crowd. “Now ladies, time for a cover from the one, the only Louis ‘The Tommo’ Tomlinson! Take it away BooBear!” Harry said earning a fake glare from Louis for using the term of endearment his mother had given him when we were kids.
“Two years ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life…” he started. The crowd gasped. “No, no – I’m not talking about auditioning for the X-Factor. That was one of the best decisions I had ever made. No, my biggest mistake was letting go of the person who means more to me than anything in the world, the person who stuck by me through the good and the bad. I saw this person for the first time in two years earlier today and it only made me realize how much pain I’ve caused to not only myself but to her as well. So Stephie, if you’re out there this is a special song just for you.” He said to the crowd as the familiar music to my favorite song, Vanilla Twilight by Owl City began.
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
He sang the song with so much emotion and it brought tears to my eyes. I remember when he had sung the song to me for my sixteenth birthday, because I had loved it so much. It brought back so many memories and only reminded me of how sad and lonely I’ve been since he left and since we had broken up. When I’m awake at night, I ponder whether or not he’s lying awake, missing me as much as I miss him. As much as I try to move on, I just can’t because my life is just not the same. Without Lou in my life, I’m just not the Stephanie I used to be.
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)
I'll think of you tonight
I kept my eyes on Louis as he sang his heart out, my own breaking with each word. I knew what I had to do once the show was over. I knew that although I shouldn’t still want him after what he had done, I needed him in my life and he needed me in his. Although I didn’t know it before, I realized now that he had let me go because he didn’t want to hold me back from having a life that he only broke up with me because he thought I could do better. Silly boy.
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear:
"Oh darling I wish you were here"
He finished the song and the crowd erupted into cheers before the boys went on with the rest of their set. The tears were still falling down my face as the boys ended their set and it was time for Melissa, Cecelia, and I to make our way backstage. We showed the bodyguard our passes and were let inside the green room where another girl was sitting. She wore a four-leaf clover necklace around her neck and smiled at us once we entered the room. “Harry mentioned there would be three of you coming tonight. My name is Dawn, I’m Niall’s girlfriend.” She introduced herself, shaking our hands. We all introduced ourselves before we sat down and we explained how we, or should I say, I knew the boys. She smiled.
“So you’re the bird Lou constantly talks about.” She stated as she looked at me. I nodded. “I guess so.” I replied softly as we waited for the lads to come into the room. “Well, don’t worry love. He’s going to be so happy to see you.” She said just as the door opened to reveal Harry and Niall, who immediately greeted his girlfriend. Harry looked at me with a small smile as he made his way over to the girls and I. “Louis’ still in the dressing room. Go out the hall and make a left; it’ll be the second door on your right.” He said to me, hugging me tight.
I pulled away from the hug just as Zayn and Liam walked into the room. I gave them each a small smile, even though they didn’t know who I was before making the short walk down the hall to the dressing room. I must have stood in front of the door for about five minutes, contemplating on whether or not I should knock. I finally bucked up the courage to make my presence known. I gently knocked on the door twice. “Come in.” I heard his voice faintly through the door.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. I walked into the room, shutting the door behind me quietly. Louis had his back to me but he was hunched over on a couch, his head in his hands. I cleared my throat, making my presence known. He lifted his head and turned as he stood up, his eyes widening as he looked at me. My breath caught in my throat as his blue eyes pierced through mine. “Hey.” I let out in a shaky breath. “Y-you’re here.” He stammered out. I nodded. “Harry told me you had a show tonight so here I am.” I said softly.
We still stood about five feet from each other as we just looked at one another. He still looked the same as he had when I had seen him off two years ago. The only difference was the slight stubble on his chin, and his once lively blue orbs were now dull and unhappy. “So you heard…” he trailed off to which I nodded again. “It was beautiful Lou, but I just want to know why? Why did you leave me?” I asked him softly as the tears started to form. At the sight of the tears in my eyes, he swiftly crossed the room and took me into his arms, which I did not object. The tears fell down my face as he brought me over to the couch and just held me as I sobbed into his shirt. “Why did you let my go Louis? Did you not want me anymore?” I whispered. He immediately pulled back, and lifted my chin so that I was looking him straight in the eyes. “Never think that. I have and always will want you. I just didn’t want to hold you back from having a life, Stephanie.” He replied.
I looked into his cerulean eyes as I saw the tears were forming in them as well. “Lou, you were never holding me back. Even though we were apart, you were and always will be my life. Yes, it hurt to miss you so much, but that just makes it so much better when we finally do get to see each other again. I’ve spent each night for the past two years, lying awake in my bed just missing you. And I’ve missed you so much Lou. Seeing you today? That was probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I know I ran from you but I only did that because I was scared. But now here I am in front of you and I’m still scared. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose you again and I don’t think I can handle that. I love you too much to just let you give me up again.” I whispered to him. The tears were still falling down my face as his hand reached up, cupping my cheek and wiping the tears with his thumb. “Guess I won’t be letting you go then, hmm?” he said with a smirk as the tears streamed down his face as well. I smiled. “I guess not.” I replied softly. “I love you Stephanie.” He whispered. “I love you too Louis.” I answered just as our lips crashed together.
Ten Years Later
“Alexander Michael Tomlinson! Get in here!” I called to my five-year-old son as I held his teary-eyed three-year-old sister, Jacqueline Olivia, in my arms. Two second later, a little boy with shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes slowly walked into the room, guilt written all over his face. “Yes mummy?” he asked quietly. I smiled, he was so much like his father especially when he knew he was in trouble. “Sweetheart, I believe you owe Jackie an apology.” I cooed softly, knowing he knew he was wrong. Alex, or Zander as I preferred to call him, slowly walked up to his sister and I. “I’m sorry Jackie.” He whispered, holding his arms out and hugging her. I looked down at my little girl, the spitting image of me. “You okay now Jax?” I asked softly and she nodded, jumping into her brother’s arms. “Now, why don’t you two wash up for dinner? Daddy should be home from the studio soon.” I said with a wide smile. They smiled and took off running
After that kiss we shared ten years ago, Louis and I picked up right where we left off. Two years later, he asked me to marry him and a year after that at the age of twenty-three we said ‘I Do.’ Two years later, when we were twenty-five, we had Alex. Let me tell you, a world tour with an infant was an interesting experience. Alex was born about a month before the tour started so we were home in London when we welcomed him into the world. When Alex was two, Jax was born. This time though, Louis and the boys were on break and we were able to be together as a family without having to worry about constantly moving cities or having a cranky toddler and screaming infant on a tour bus. And now here we are, married seven years with two beautiful children; Zander, who is just like his father, is my momma’s boy while Jax has her father wrapped around her tiny finger. Our life together is good.
“Daddy’s home!!!” I heard my husband’s voice sound through the house and soon felt his strong arms wrap around my waist. “I love you.” He whispered in my ear. I smiled. “I love you too.” I whispered as his hands rubbed my growing stomach; I was currently four months pregnant, with twins. “And I love you too.” He said, turning me around so he could talk to my stomach. I giggled as he kissed my belly before standing up right and placing a kiss on my lips, just as our kids came running into the room, attaching themselves to our legs as they laughed. Life is good.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hope you all like it, especially you Steph!So sorry for the long wait!
Comment, let me know what y'all think!
~Ashley xx