Broken Scream

After I had talked to my grandma we went inside. She told me to go get on clean cloths and hurry down for dinner. I went up stairs and got on my red shirt and my boot cut jeans. I grabbed m hoodie that had our school mascot, a wolf, on the front of it and slipped it on. I felt kind of cold even after I put the jacket on. I walked back down stairs and sat on the couch. My grandma came out of the kitchen and sat across from me.
“So I have invited James and his brother over for dinner as thanks for getting you to the hospital. Mary will also be coming with them because, as she put it, she is way beyond worried about her sister. They will be here in about ten minutes, so I expect you to be nice to James. I know you’re not too happy with James after he kissed you, but he did save you.” My grandma told me.
“I’ll try my best grandma, I have to thank him anyways.” I said.
She nodded her head and went into the kitchen. I had to get James alone and scold him for acting like Mary. I could thank him in front of everyone else. I guess if he didn’t ask for a ride to the hospital then I wouldn’t be here right now. He saved my life and I would always owe him for that. This is something that he could hold over my head forever. I let out a long breath and got off of the couch.
I decided to set the table since we were going to have dinner guests. I laid out five plates, spoons, forks, knifes, and napkins at or round table. Then I put down all of the cups so they would match the plates. My grandma came in shook her head and laughed.
“I see you haven’t grown out of the matching cups and plates phase.” My grandma said.
I gave her a small smile as someone knocked on the door. It was time to start the dinner feast. I went to the door and opened it and in walked James. Behind him came Patrick, his older brother, and then Mary. When Mary saw me she gave me a big hug.
I let out a loud yelp and said, “Mary my arm!”
“O shoot. I’m sorry, Alice, I’m just so happy to see you’re alright.” Mary apologized.
“Its fine, Mary, just don’t hug me for a while.” I told her. “Let’s go eat.”
I lead them into the dining room and I sat down in my seat. Everyone else chose where they wanted to sit. Mary at to my right, and James (of course) sat to my left. Patrick sat beside James and that left my grandma to sit in between Patrick and Mary.
“Hey kids sorry to tell you, but dinner won’t be ready for another ten minutes. Do what ever to pass the time.” My grandma told us. That gives me time to pull James aside and talk to him.
“Hey, James, can I talk to you alone for a moment?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure, where do you want to go?” James asked me.
“Out back is fine. Go out I’ll meet you in a second.” I told him.
He got out of his seat and headed for the back door. I went up stairs and put on a slightly heavier jacket. I was still cold with my hoodie on when I was in the house, so I would be freezing with it on outside. The logical thing was to get a heavier jacket on. I went down stairs and went out back. James was sitting on the bench swing waiting patiently for me. I shut the door behind me and sat down beside him.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting. I had to get a heavier jacket.” I told him.
“Why do you need a heavier jacket, it’s like eighty degrees out here.” James said.
“Well it feels cold out here to me, but that’s not why I asked you to come out here. Why were you acting like Mary when I was texting her this afternoon?” I asked.
“I was trying to talk me up to see if you could still love me. I wanted you to still love me, and I wanted to find out whom it was you loved. I guess I was jealous.” James Admitted.
“Well I do still love you I’m just not in love with you. I just can’t stop being in love with someone else even after he broke my heart.” I told him.
“Can’t you at least try to be in love with me again?” James begged.
“I don’t think I can, James.” I said.
“Kiss me, Alice, kiss me then tell me you can’t.” James said.
“I don’t know if that would be-” I began, but got cut off.
“Just do it, Alice, please. I want to know if you can still love me. I need to know.” James begged.
I averted my eyes and looked at the ground. I was contemplating weather I should kiss him or not. I put my head in my hands and thought. I couldn’t think when pressure put on my shoulders. James grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. He bent down and placed his lips on mine. This time I didn’t pull away I let him kiss me. When he pulled away my head fell and I cried.
“I can’t, James, I just can’t love you again. I’m so sorry.” I cried.
I got up off o the swinging bench and ran inside. I ran into the kitchen and was about to run out into the dining room when my grandma came into the kitchen with gravy in her hand. I ran into her and gravy went down the front of me. It went from my face to the bottom of my knee.
“DAMIT!” I yelled.
“Alice, watch your language.” My grandma gasped.
“SCREW YOU!” I shouted.
I had to go through the dining room to get to my room. I opened the swinging door and stomped through the dining room. Mary and Patrick gave me confused looks. I ran up to my room grabbed clean cloths and went to take a shower. The shower was calming I put my head up against the wall and let out a quiet scream. I finished my shower and got the clean clothes on. I went down stairs to apologize to my grandma.
When I got down stairs everyone except my grandma was getting their shoes on. It was my guess that they were leaving. I walked past them into the kitchen to where my grandma was doing the dishes.
“Grandma, I wanted to say I was sorry for what I did.” I whispered.
“Go tell your guests good bye and go to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow night.” My grandma said.
I went out to the living room and everyone looked up at me. “I came to say bye. James, Patrick, thank you for taking me to the hospital. If you didn’t I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I owe you two my life, I’ll find a way to repay you.” I said.
“You don’t need to repay us, Alice; we did it because we wanted you to live. We are just happy you are alive. James is extra happy you’re alive.” Patrick said.
“Patrick let’s get home I’m tired.” James said coldly.
“James, I truly am sorry, I do still love you. I have always loved you I just didn’t want to say it out loud. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.
I turned around and went up the stairs to my room. This was by far the worst dinner party that I have ever been to. I’m in love with two guys at once, but I want to be with the one that is not here. I can’t be with him though because he is betrothed. I kicked an empty soda can across the room and fell down on my bed. Today was just not my day, and it only got worse. I was just hoping that tomorrow would be better. I was kind of afraid to go to school after I told James I still loved him. He might be angry with me for not telling him right off the bat. I just had to wait until tomorrow to see.