Lone Survivors

Rick and Daryl were onto Merle. I followed them around as they figured everything out, but I think I was more of a hassle than anything. Daryl was insanely annoyed, and I didn’t know if he was ever going to forgive me. He refused my aid and left to find Merle alone. I distracted myself by keeping watch with Axel, but I couldn’t enjoy all of the ecstatic hints he kept on dropping about his new relationship with Carol. All that I could think about was Daryl and Merle. I just wanted them to come back in one piece. When Michonne returned alone I started to lose hope, even though she said she had seen Daryl. Axel was the one who eventually spotted Daryl returning, and I ran to let him inside the prison’s gate. I barely managed to secure the lock before I was bombarded with a tight embrace. Daryl’s chest shook heavily as he sobbed. There were no words to be said.

I brought Daryl inside and into our room for privacy. Everyone kept their backs turned as they busiest themselves with appearing occupied. Daryl hid his face with a bowed head, unleashing his grief again once we were alone. We lay on our bed together. All I could do was hold him and wait. He wept until he seemed to have run out of tears, and then he finally spoke.

“I was too late, Mandy…” he breathed, staring at nothing. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he had witnessed.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Why didn’t ya tell me straightaway? I could’ve saved him…”

“I don’t know if you could have,” I said in attempt to lessen his guilt and blame on us. “Besides, he wanted you to stay out of it. I just tried to do as he asked.”

“But it was wrong,” Daryl commented, reddened eyes looking up at me to show me his sorrow.

“I tried to do what was best… Merle said he might be able to keep us safe,” I explained. I knew there would never be any justification for Merle losing his life, but hopefully my words could make it a bit easier to cope with.

“But we’re not safe.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I think he just pissed the Governor off some more,” Daryl mumbled. We fell silent again and I continued to gently stroke the hand of his that I held.

“I think he was brave. I think it’ll be worth it, what he did. Maybe we can’t see how right now, but someday,” I said quietly. We met eyes and I knew Daryl was taking in my assurance. I smiled weakly as I remembered the last words Merle ever spoke to me. “Before he left, he told me to tell you something if he didn’t make it back.”

“What?” Daryl asked curiously, yet it seemed as though he was uncertain about actually wanting to hear it.

“He loves his baby brother,” I answered. Daryl’s lip trembled as he nodded.

“Could never tell me to my face, ya see,” he said. “But I always knew…”