This Burning Room

I walk into this run down bar that my cousin owns. The only thing that keeps it running are the town alcoholics, some homeless people, and whenever my band plays my cousin charges admission.

I take a seat at the bar, on one of the non matching, uneven bar stools. "Hey Eric," I try to smile when I see him round the corner with a box of booze occupying his hands.

Eric sets the box down beside me. He fetches a shot glass and a bottle, pouring him and myself a drink. If my mother knew that Eric has been responsible for the numerous times I've stumbled home drunk, it would be off with his head.

I down the shot, set it down and push it forward asking for another one.

"Why are you drowning your sorrows?" He asks, pouring more of the amber liquid.

"One guess."

"Break up with her. As much as you "love" her, she is just going to keep making you feel like shit. Do all of us a favor and call it quits now before you become an alcoholic and kill yourself like her father did."

"Show some sympathy will ya?"

"Hey," Eric raises his hands as if he was defenseless. "I'm just telling it like I see it. You might love her and she might love you, but sometimes it's the wrong kind of love."

"Think so?"

"I'm a bartender. That means I'm an unlicensed therapist. I know so. Go talk to her, really talk."

*

We didn't really talk. We just had sex then cuddled, then I left. I'm not even sure if we were back together, if I wanted to be back together. I needed to get away from everything that was swirling in my head. I needed to play my guitar, to sing, to smile down at the people who really love my work.

I called my cousin, by passing his questions about if I had a real talk. I needed a gig tonight.

Then I called the band, they were up for it since we haven't played in what seems like months.

Lastly, I texted Elena. She is by far my biggest fan. I knew that it would cheer her up if she saw me play, and that would cheer me up. I would figure out what we are later.

Everything was set. All the equipment was set up and all of the instruments were finely tuned. About tonight got around from word of mouth. There was already a line forming at the door. We really were famous in a small town.

I was only nineteen. I just graduated high school the year before, but I knew that I was made for the spot light. I felt most myself when all lights were on me, fan girls singing along with every note. Hollywood was just calling my name.

Once we finished our list of songs, Elena and I normally stole a few moments to ourselves in the break room. I knew she was waiting for me but I wasn't sure if I was ready to rekindle our relationship. We were the worst possible people for each other.

"Whats eating you?" Blaine asks handing me a red plastic cup.

"Elena," I say simply.

"Be a man for once, do what's right. You may not think it's right but it is."

I look at him. Maybe everyone is right. I was just having a hard time seeing it.

"Not right now. Let's just get out of here. Party back at your place?"

Blaine clinked his cup with my own. I gave one more glance back at the break room. I might be sealing my fate now, but I couldn't deal with all the pressure I feel around Elena. I needed a full night all about me before I make a potentially life altering decision.