Home Could Be Anywhere When I Am Holding You.

“Hey.” I said as I tapped Dan on the shoulder.
“Hi,” he blushed slightly before pulling me into a hug. “You okay?”
“Uh. I don’t really know.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“Not really something for public.” I whispered.
“Wanna go to the apartment? You’ll need to know where it is anyway.”
“And why would that be Daniel?” I asked, finally having the courage to talk to him properly.
“Because… reasons.”
“That’s not a legitimate reason.” I countered.
“Fucking hell,” he laughed. “Let’s just go. I assume you have your car?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Gonna need it.”
We all walked back to the car, and I realized that Louise hadn’t even said a word. I looked at her. Her eyes were wide.
“Jesus Louise. Stop fangirling.” I laughed.
“I’m not, I’m just surprised that it’s really him. You know? Like… it’s him.”
“Christ. Uh, I’m sorry about her.” I apologized.
“Don’t worry about it,” he laughed. “It’s kinda cute.”
“I got stuck babysitting.”
“Isn’t she like 14?”
“Yeah, but… parents.” I was more comfortable around Dan than I was around most people. It was weird. I guess it was because we’d spent ages the night before just talking.
We got back to the car, after Dan smirked at my choice in car.
“What?!” I asked angrily.
“It’s just… not what I expected.”
“I love it, and if you don’t, that’s tough. My car.” I told him as I got in the driver’s side.
“I never said I didn’t like it!” He muttered defensively.
I plugged my iPod back in, and started playing Muse. He looked over at me.
“What?” I felt self-conscious again.
“Nothing.”
“Muse is his favorite band.” Louise piped up from the back.
I looked in my rear-view mirror at her, “Stalker.” I muttered.
“Hardly,” she told me. “He’s just said it like a hundred times in his videos.”
“And he told me earlier this morning.”
“So how come Louise knows who I am, but you don’t?” He asked me.
“It’s complicated.”
“How complicated?”
“Like, really complicated.”
“Explain.” He told me, not giving me a choice.
“It started a couple of years ago when our older sister… died. Our parents never really treated us the same. They blamed me for her death.”
“How… did she die?”
“Suicide.” I said bluntly.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. In a way anyway. I didn’t literally force her to jump, but she did. I tried to stop her, I really did, but she was so intent on dying, that nobody could stop her.”
“So your parents?”
“They blame me so much, that it’s like I’m not their daughter anymore. I’m just there.”
He’d been pointing out directions and all of a sudden told me to stop outside a small house, “That must suck.”
“A little bit. You live here?”
“At the moment…” he told me shyly.
I parked the car outside and he led the way in. Phil was sat in the lounge watching ‘Adventure Time’. He waved at me and gave a cute smile. Louise froze beside me. Phil patted the seat on the sofa next to him, and gestured for her to sit next to him. I shot him a thankful look, and mouthed thanks to him. He nodded and went back to watching TV. Dan patted my shoulder and nodded towards another door. I followed him through, and he went and sat on the bed. I assumed it was his bedroom. I stood in the doorway awkwardly.
“Hannah, come and sit on the bed. I’m not going to do anything.”
I sat on the end of the bed, cross-legged, defensively. He sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Right, you were saying in the car…” he motioned for me to carry on with my story.
“Oh! Right, well… I’m sort of like her parent now, because they blame me, and therefore blame her, and need me to do something ‘productive’ with my life. And that apparently is looking after her.” I played with the bed sheets under my fingers.
He pulled my chin up so I was looking directly in his eyes, “It’ll get better.”
“Hopefully I won’t be living there much longer, and I’ll probably take Louise with me, wherever I go. She’s too important for me to leave behind.”
“It’s really sweet that you care that much about her.”
“No. It’s not sweet. Any sibling should care that much.”
He chuckled and pulled me into his chest, catching me completely off guard, “When do you have to work?”
“Not till Saturday.”
“It’s only Wednesday. Do you wanna stay here until Friday or something.”
“Do you really want me to stay that badly, Daniel?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. I have no clothes though.”
“Wear mine. Or Phil’s. Either ones.”
“What about underwear?” I blushed.
“We’ll go shopping.” He didn’t look at me properly at the thought of underwear shopping.
“Come on then.” I muttered as I stood up, pulling him with me.
He rolled his eyes and we went back to Phil and Louise.
“Hey, we’re going shopping, I need to talk to you.” I looked at Louise.
“Sure.” She followed me out into the hallway, leaving the boys to themselves.
“Uhm… I’m staying here till Friday night, possibly Saturday morning. Do you wanna stay too, or want me to drop you back home?”
“Staying. There’s no way I want to go home.”
“Okay, we’ll go get some clothes then.”
I motioned for her to go back into the lounge where Dan and Phil were waiting.
“Ready?” Dan asked. I nodded.
“Are you both staying?” Phil asked, more looking at Louise.
“Yeah… is that a problem? Sorry I should have asked first…” I felt guilty.
“No,” Dan laughed. It was adorable. “Do you guys mind sharing a bed?"
I looked at Louise, “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“It’s a double bed.” Dan told me.
“No. I have to sleep on the floor.” I muttered back in a panic.
“Okay, okay. Or you can sleep on the couch?” Phil offered.
“Seriously guys, I’m fine with the floor.” I laughed nervously.
They nodded, knowing something was wrong with the way I reacted. How the hell was I supposed to tell them I was an insanely violent sleeper, capable of knocking others and myself out? I just didn’t know.
“Let’s go.”

--

After we’d been shopping, we returned to the apartment around dinner. I hadn’t heard from the parents so I excused myself to call them. I sat on Dan’s bed with my back to the door.
“Hello?” Mum answered.
“It’s only me.”
“Where the hell are you?!”
“London.”
“What are you doing there!?”
“Staying with some friends. We’ll both be back on Saturday. There’s leftovers in the fridge and some stuff in the freezer. Take care. Bye.” I hung up before she could say anything. I put it on silent and left it in his room as I went back to the living room. I told Louise to ignore all calls from them while we were here. Dan pulled me close sensing my stress. Even though we weren’t together and had no intentions, we still acted pretty much like a couple. It was nice. I felt like I had purpose again.