Home Could Be Anywhere When I Am Holding You.

That night, I completely sucked at sleeping. I laid on the floor for hours, staring at the ceiling. I groaned and got up. I went and sat on the couch and put the TV on quiet. I sat there for about 20 minutes by myself till Phil walked in.
“Hey.” I said.
“Are you okay? It’s like 5am?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Want me to sit with you?”
“Phil, go to sleep! You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Fine. Sit,” I pointed at the empty space on the couch. “Has Dan spoken to you?”
“No, why?”
“Well… something sorta… happened…” Phil raised his eyebrow. “We kissed, and now I’m confused and I can’t sleep and… it’s complicated.”
“How is it complicated?”
“Because… reasons.”
“That’s not a legitimate reason.”
“Can it be for this? It’s just too complicated and I’d have to explain everything and that’ll take about 4 days.”
“Do you like Dan?”
“Yes. A lot.” I looked at the floor.
“I know he likes you too. Just don’t worry about it. Things’ll work out.” He smiled at me reassuringly.
“Thanks Phil. And thanks for looking after Louise the last few days.”
“It’s cool, she’s like a younger sister.”
I smiled, “It means a lot to me. Not having to worry about her all the time.”
“Sleep, now.” He told me, smiling at me.
I nodded and went to the bathroom, running into Dan.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry! I swear all I do is beat you up.”
He laughed, “Why are you up? It’s half 5 in the morning.”
“I couldn’t sleep. Why are you up?”
“I was working.” He yawned.
“Do you always work this late?”
“No,” he laughed. “I got carried away. Come with me.”
He pulled me into his bedroom and over to his bed.
“Daniel, what are we doing?” I sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“What are we doing?”
“I was planning on taking you out to lunch tomorrow and then asking if you’d be my girlfriend, but you’ve just ruined the surprise. So with that said, Hannah Striker, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes. I guess.”
“You guess?! You only guess!?”
“Yes, Daniel. I will be your girlfriend.” I kissed him and laid next to him on his bed. I bit my lip.
We lay there for a while, just looking at each other, occasionally touching each other, smiling and an odd kiss every now and then. His eyelids drifted shut slowly, falling asleep curled up next to me. I smiled and played with his hair gently, stroking it softly, desperately trying not to wake him. Eventually I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

--

I woke up on the floor of Dan’s bedroom, he was peering over at me.
“Oh my shit, are you okay?!”
“I’m fine. I think. Why?”
“You sort of… freaked out and fell out. What happened?”
“Did I hurt you?” I asked quietly, looking away from him.
“Hurt me? Hannah, why would you hurt me?”
“I’m gonna explain, which is why I sleep on the floor more than on a bed,” I took in a deep breath. “Basically, since Jess committed suicide, I have nightmares and I’m a horrifically violent sleeper. Louise came in to see if I was okay one night and I punched her in the face. I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t want to hurt you, and if I do I will hate myself forever.”
He came and laid next to me on the floor and moved over so his body was pressed against mine, “please stop worrying. I get that this is hard, I’m not going to say I understand, because I don’t. I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you’re that close to. But please, stop worrying, the more you worry the harder it’s going to be. I’m always gonna be here for you. Okay?”
I nodded. I just wanted to cry. I never cried in front of people. Ever. I hardly cried in front of Louise because I knew how much it upset her. There was a knock at the door distracting us.
“Hey, I was just wondering,” Phil was at the door. “Oh, you are in here. Louise was worried.”
“Tell her I’ll be there in a minute. Thanks Phil.”
He smiled at me, then left.
“I’d better go see what she wants. I’ll be back.” I smiled and followed Phil.
“Hey Lou.” I greeted.
“Hey, um… can I talk to you?”
She motioned towards “our” bedroom. I followed her inside.
“Seriously now. What is happening?”
“Okay… I think me and Dan are together.”
“Wait. What?!”
“Yeah… he asked me to be his girlfriend.”
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, before exhaling loudly. When she opened her eyes she smiled, but shook her head, “be careful.” Was all she said before she left the room.

--

Dan and I were sat on his bed talking. It was comfortable around him. Louise and Phil were the only people that knew what was going on. I hadn’t told Charlie. He hadn’t told his fans. How were we going to tell them? What if they didn’t like me? What if they hated me because they thought I was going to take Dan from them? All these things just kept running through my mind. I didn’t doubt our relationship just the things that would hurt him and his career.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked me.
“Nothing much… Just… what are we gonna do?”
“What do you mean?” He laid back on his bed, that adorable confused look taking over his features, his hand behind his head, and the other resting on his stomach.
“Just…” I turned so my crossed legs were leaning against his side and we were facing each other. “Like, when your subscribers, fans whatever you want to call them, when they find out, I don’t want them to hate me. I don’t want them to think that because we’re together, I’m distracting you from the YouTube thing. I don’t want them to think that I’m making you different. Please, please tell me that no matter how infatuated you become with me, that you won’t ever ditch them because of me. It’s selfish of me to take you away from them.”
“’Infatuated’?” He mocked. “I promise, that no matter how involved we get, and however much I like or love you, I promise that YouTube will come first. Is that okay?”
“Perfect.” And he sat up to press his lips to mine, his fingers running through my hair.
I sighed happily as he laid back down and stroked my cheek lightly with his thumb. I was content.