Home Could Be Anywhere When I Am Holding You.

I was laying on Dan’s bed, with his head resting on my stomach, running my hands through his hair. We were talking, mostly about what we wanted to do the next day.
“Hannah…?” He questioned hesitantly.
“Mmm?”
“I just wanted to know… you don’t have to answer… I just wanted to know, like, you said ages ago that your past relationships weren’t great… and I just wanted to know what you meant?”
My eyes squeezed shut, “It’s not the most… pleasant stories.” I whispered.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“I guess you kind of deserve to know,” I took a deep breath, sliding down next to him so I was looking at his face. “A couple of years ago, by that I mean I was 16, stupid, immature and ignorant. I started talking to this guy who I went to school with and we started seeing each other. He cheated on me multiple times, and when we weren’t seeing each other he used me to get out of his relationships. And he only used me for sex. That’s basically most of the story, well… all that you need to know.”
I looked back at his face, his eyes wide. I looked down at the sheets as I sat up, pulling away from him. He sat up and pulled me onto his crossed legs, kissing my cheek, my nose, my forehead, my lips.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“Someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be treated as crap as that.”
I looked at the sheets again, biting my lip. He groaned and pushed me back to the bed, pinning me down underneath him, kissing my collarbone.
“I told you before about biting your lip.” He growled against me skin.
My breath caught in my throat and my fingers ran down his clothed back.
“Dan, stop!” I moaned.
“Nope.” He smirked and went back to kissing my collarbone.
“Dan, seriously, stop!” I moaned again.
I pushed him off me and rolled on top of him, straddling his waist, pinning his hands above his head, teasing him, leaving my lips just fractions away from his. He groaned when he realized what I was doing.
“Hannah…” He moaned.
“Yes Daniel?” I asked innocently.
“Stop.”
I laughed as I kissed him, releasing his arms which wrapped around me instantly. I pulled away smiling.
“Don’t you have a video to film?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Shit. Yes!” He groaned. “What am I gonna do?” He grinned suddenly looking at me.
“No. No. No! Definitely not!”
“Why!?” He whined.
“Because!”
“That’s not a reason babe. They’re gonna find out sooner or later.”
“1st off, no to babe. 2nd of all, you can tell them you have a girlfriend, but please. Don’t tell them who I am. I don’t want hate and stuff.”
“Fine,” he kissed me. “I’ll be back.”
I was left on the bed, frustrated. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I needed a shower. I got off the bed and went to Phil’s room, knocking on the door, waiting for him to answer.
“Yeah?”
I walked in, “Hey Phil.”
“Hey Hannah.” He smiled. “You okay?”
“Yeah. You?”
“I’m good. What’s up?”
“Nothing.” I blushed, looking down.
“Seriously, what’s up?”
“Phil, I’m being serious. Don’t ask.” I laughed nervously.
“Okay,” he laughed at my blushing. “How was being back home?”
“It was… complicated. Every time I woke up I just wanted to be here with you guys. I wanted Louise out of there. I still do. I’m glad she’s at other people’s houses rather than at home. I just don’t know what to do about it. I mean soon I’m not going to be there anymore and I said that wherever I went, she’d come too. But sometimes it’s like, how the hell am I supposed to look after her all the time?”
“You’ll be fine. Just look after her, and if you do ever move in here, please don’t let me freak you out, but if you do, she can come too.”
“Thanks Phil, but it’s a bit early to think about that.” I blushed again.
“Eh, well. Anyway, wanna hang out for a bit?”
“Yeah, Dan’s filming his new video. About me.”
“Ah, so coming out to the fandom.”
“Yes. I’m nervous. What if they don’t like me?”
“That’s virtually impossible.”
“There’s always somebody I’m going to offend, there’s always somebody who’s gonna hate me for being Dan’s girlfriend, there’s always somebody who’s gonna think that I’m taking Dan away from them.”
“Ignore those people. You’re so much like Dan it’s unreal. If they don’t like you then they don’t like Dan. It makes sense to me.”
“Phil. You’re so lovely.” I hugged him and we sat on his bed watching Netflix until Dan was done.
“Hey.” He was leaning in the doorframe.
“Hey there. You done?”
“Yeah, I just gotta edit it. Wanna sit with me?”
I nodded, “You coming Phil?”
“Nah. You guys have fun.”
“Okay. In a bit.” I hugged him again and left the room with Dan.
I went to move over to the couch, but Dan didn’t release my hand and went over to the mac and made me sit on his lap.
I laughed, “Dan, you’re not gonna be able to edit with me sat here.”
“Yeah I am. Lean back and tuck your head under my chin.”
I did and he wrapped his arms around me, his hands on the mouse and keyboard. His head leaned against mine and I curled up more into his body and began to relax more into him, breathing in his scent and falling asleep on him.

--

“Hey, hey.” Dan was waking me up gently.
“Mmm?” I murmured, opening one eye, smiling when I saw his chocolate brown one’s looking into mine.
“You’ve been asleep for 2 hours.”
“Urgh, why did you let me?” I moaned.
“You needed it.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t fall off.”
“You nearly did.” He laughed.
“Can I go back to bed now?”
“Fine. It’s only midnight though.”
“Come with me? Just… until I fall asleep.”
He smiled and got up when I did, following me into the bedroom. As soon as we got into the room, I kissed him, needily. I needed him. He froze for a second before kissing back, his hands trailing down to my waist, mine going to his shoulders, my hands trailing through his hair.
“Hannah, baby, what are you doing?” He asked me, his lips just millimeters away from mine.
“I want you.” My breath catching in my throat.
“Baby, no.” He pulled away from me, leaving me stood there feeling rejected.
“Oh.” I turned away from him, starting to get ready to go to bed.
“Hannah?” I didn’t respond. “Baby, please listen to me. I want to. I want you so badly. I just… I want to wait for it to be perfect.”
“I’m tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow Dan. Goodnight.” I got into bed, not looking at him, knowing that if I did I’d forgive him instantly.
He turned out the light sighing. I heard him shuffle around the bed, getting in the opposite side to me.
“Are you angry with me?” He asked quietly.
“No,” I sighed. I looked up at that face that I adored so much. “I just hate feeling like that.”
“Like what?”
“Alone. Rejected. Unwanted.”
“Baby,” He tucked hair behind my ear. “You have no idea how badly I want you.”
“Okay. I… I really like you Daniel.” I shuffled over and he wrapped his arms around me.
“I really like you too.” He whispered as I curled up against his body, falling asleep as he gave me one last kiss.