Into the Mist

I sit on our park bench, waiting for him to make his appearance. I do not expect this to take long but I wish I would have remembered a heavier coat. The chilled fall morning seeps into my skin as I sit on the old rotten wood that makes up the bench where my life began. Cold is all I can feel, it is the only feeling I will allow myself at this time. I have to be strong as I wait.

My brown-eyed man has never been on time a day in his life. For the first time in my life, I am happy he is late. I know this will overwelm him. Bringing myself to think of his possible reaction is so terrifying and painful, I cannot stop the tears. I know he will leave me alone to deal with my wreckage on my own.

"Mellie? Mel, are you okay?" I nodd my head but the tears will not stop even as I will my eyes to dry up.

"Mellie, tell me what the matter is. How can I make it better if you will not tell me?" How was I supposed to tell him that I lied? That I have been lying to him for years? How was I going to tell my very best friend since grade school the horrible thing I did? I do not want to lose him, but I cannot continue to lie to him.

"You will hate me," I say in between sniffles and tear soaked sobs.

"Mel, how could I ever hate you? I know every bad thing you have ever done. Have you so little faith in me?"

"No! No, of course I don't!" I take a deep breath to steady my breathing and heartbeat. "I love you."

I get the courage to look him in the eyes. He seems to be measuring his reaction before he smiles and tells me, "Of course Mel, you know I love you too." My heart sinks to the furthest depths as he says these words.

I begin to cry again. I can feel his brown eyes on me with worry. He is trying to console me and tell me it will be okay. I know it will not. I cannot bring myself to believe him. I get mad at him for not understanding my pain and not understanding what I was trying to tell him.

I just yell at him, "I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU." I stiffen as I feel his muscles tense. Why? Why would I do that ? How could I be so stupid?

It has been an eternity since either of us has even drawn a breath. I chance a look at him. My heart shattered into a billion pieces as his faces goes hard and cold. I watch him stand with such a suddenness that a person would assume there were a pack of wolves just behind me.

Without a word, he disappears into the mist with everything that ever had an inkling of importance in my life. My light disappeared into the mist.