Louie.

He was in my dreams.

I'm not going to lie.

Hell maybe it sounds a little gay, but I'm being honest. I'm a boy who hasn't had much social interaction with my peers, and the one peer I meet who happens to be another guy, is stuck in my brain. I'm a boy thinking about another boy, but not in a sexual way, or romantic way.

And I'm not saying that I'm not romantically interested in other boys, or am interest. And I'm not saying that I'm exclusively interested in girls either, or am not. What the fuck am I even saying anymore?

I find things attractive and gross about both. . .

Bottom line there is that I've flirted with both genders.

But that's not even where I was going with this train of thought,

Every time I close my eyes I can see him, sitting in the computer chair with those damn brown eyes looking straight into mine. And again I feel caught of guard.Out of control, I need to be in control

And those damn words of his come out of his mouth again."Do you like it here?"

And now I'm questioning myself. His question has led to my mind wandering off for hours, searching, fighting, tiring for an answer to a question I don't even know, nor do I want to know. i don't want to think about what he said, but then again I do.












This back and forth fried my brain, and ruined the schedule I've grown so accustomed to. I've been neglecting my daily routines of being the second to wake up, eating before others, enjoying quiet time, sneaking around the presence of people, and when I couldn't avoid contact with the other occupants, I resorted to being a complete fucking ass. But I haven't been able to do any of that the past week because of Rockwell.

Fucking Rockwell has me stressed out over something so silly.

Fucking Rockwell made me stress out so much my immune system decided to take a vacation and left me to fend for myself against the common cold.

Hehe, immune system with a shirt and tie, standing by the door with a brief case. . . what a douche bag.

Laughter is the best medicine right?

My ass, not when it makes you cough.

"Ben take the medicine" Beth instructs, walking past my room with a laundry basket in hand., Louie trailing behind her. I just wave my hand at her, even though she's long gone.

My eyes zero in on the cold medicine on my computer desk.

I know I really should take it, but my body can't and won't make the effort to get up to grab it.

My body is tired, my brain is tired.

So I sleep.