Somethings Can't Be Changed

I sat on my bed, my knees up to my chest, staring down at my phone. It had been 74 hours since Alex and I talked. I found myself always calling him first. He never called me first anymore. I sighed, things had changed so much in the last month and I didn't like it. The boys released another new album called 'Don't Panic'. A new album comes with, yes, you guessed it, another tour. They are going to be gone for a month and a half. It's only been a week and Alex and I have talked twice. I get he's busy with tour and everything but I needed him more than ever now.

I reached for my phone and dialed his number. It felt like deja vu. I found myself doing this a lot, but never hitting send. This time I did it, I pressed send.

It rang five times before he answered

"Hey Em!" He answered, there was loud music in the background. I looked at the clock, it was 12am his time, which ment the show was over and he was at a bar or club.

"Hi Lex, how was the show?" I asked. It came out in more of a whisper.

"Great! So many people came out tonight." I nodded to myself.

"That's good." I said staring down at my toes. "I miss you.." I trailed off.

"Miss you too, hey I have to go. I'll talk to you later okay?" I bit my lip. Our calls never last for more than a minute and it broke my heart.

"Okay." I choked out. "I love-" I started before the call was disconnected. I brought my phone away from my face and looked down at my home screen. Behind my apps was a picture of Alex and I the night before he left for tour.

A cry escaped my lips, and a tear flowed down my cheek. "I love you." I finished to myself. I set my phone down and crawled into my blankets, pulling them up to my face.

I missed Alex, I love Alex, I needed Alex. More than he'd ever know.

I picked my phone back up and dialed the one person who had been there for me no matter what. Jack.

Two rings and he answered. It took Alex five.

"Ber! I miss you how are you?" He said cheerfully. That was more than I got out of Alex in our whole conversation.

"I miss you too JackJack. I'm horrible." I said letting out a sigh.

"Let me go outside and talk to you." I smiled, he was always there to help me. "Okay JackJack is here for you, what's wrong?"

"Everything." I said before letting the tears stream down my face. "I miss Alex. He never has anytime for me. He never asks me how I am or if I'm getting better. I'm in so much pain and he's not even concerned. I have no one here to help me." By now I was full out crying. I could barely breathe inbetween my cries.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay Ber. I'm always here for you no matter what time of day. I'm always here. I'm sorry your in pain and I wish I could help. I promise I'll make it up to you when we get back. Ice cream, my treat." A smile formed on my face for a split second. "As for Alex, I'm going to talk to him cause he shouldn't be being a dick to his fiancé."

"Thank you Jack." I said sincerely.

"How have the doctors been?" He asked.

"Well I go into a mini surgery in two days for them to do some shit. I'll let you know how that goes." I said still sniffling.

"I'll be sure to call you in two days!"

"Let Alex know, okay?"

"Of course! I love you! Call me when you need too!" I nodded as if he could hear me.

"Love you too, bye."

"Bye bye!" I hung up the phone and set it back down.

Alex. I missed him. He was the only thing keeping me going. What's the point anymore?