Lost & Found

Louis throws a pillow at Niall, who drops his sandwich and glowers at him. Zayn chuckles softly from next to Harry, who’s staring down at his phone with a small smile on his lips. Liam is still sleeping, which is odd because he’s always the first one awake. Well, usually.

I didn’t sleep hardly at all last night. I took, maybe, a ten minute nap before Louis found me in the back room and insisted on bothering me. Then when all the boys finally fell asleep that night, I couldn’t stop thinking. Not only about Brett, but over why I was actually here. I know mum could handle me, because it’s just me and no one else. There has to be a catch. I just can’t think of what it could be.

“Blaire, you’re doing it again.” Harry says.

I blink, looking up at him. His phone is gone now, probably into his pocket, and his attention is completely focused on me.

“Doing what exactly?”

“Spacing out and looking as if you’re going to cry. You think too hard. You’re eyebrows come together and you look upset.”

I shrug, pulling my gaze from him. “Well, people think all the time. It’s not a crime.”

Harry sighs, understanding that he won’t win. Zayn places a hand on his shoulder, a kind smile on his face. I feel alone all of a sudden. Everyone here has each other; has known each other for years, and I hardly know these boys at all. I knew them for maybe two months or three tops. I really don’t know these boys.

Liam walks sleepily into the room, his hair sticking up in every direction. He doesn’t appear to care.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.” Zayn calls.

“Top o’ the morning’ to yah.” Niall says next.

Liam waves slightly, grabbing a muffin from the cupboard above the small fridge. I lean back in my chair, crossing my legs together. Liam sits on the armrest of my chair, taking a bite of the muffin.

“How much farther do we have to go until we hit New York?” Liam asks around his muffin.

The boys shrug at the same time, going back to what they were doing. I stand up, stretching my arms up with a small, hardly audible sigh. Liam watches me with worry in his eyes. Niall groans, looking up at me with puppy eyes.

“Make me another sandwich, Blaire?”

I roll my eyes, but nod. I grab some bread and begin making Niall a sandwich as I listen in on the boys conversations. I mean, I’m in the same room as them, so it’s not like their talking about things I shouldn’t be hearing. That would just be dumb of them.

Once the sandwich is done, I bring it to Niall with a small smile. He grins, thanking me and then scoots over on the couch to give me room. Louis is on the floor, the pillow he had thrown at Niall in his lap once again. Liam takes over my chair. Harry grins, sharing his chair with Zayn, who’s looking into a mirror and fixing his already perfect hair.

It’s the routine around here that makes me feel a bit better, but at the same time makes me homesick. I miss my friends and mum. Most importantly, I miss Brett. I can’t believe I’m missing his funeral tomorrow.

Niall’s knee bumps mine. I glance up at him, but he’s staring down at his phone. He must not have noticed that his knee hit mine. Nonetheless, I don’t react. When his knee bumps my leg again though, I bump him back. That earns a chuckle from him. I look up again, this time not prepared for his baby blue eyes to be staring at me with a glow about them. I flush, looking down at my lap.

“Harry, let’s go play Call of Duty.” Louis says, jumping up.

Louis and Harry have a bromance, which the fans basically threw it on them, but secretly, I really think they love each other. They’re probably just too scared to admit their gay for one another. I would love it if they got together.

“Fine, but if you cheat, I’m throwing you off the bus.” Harry threatens with a grin on his face. He stands up as well, throwing his arm around Louis’s shoulders.

Liam chuckles, watching as the boys, or Larry Stylinson to be exact, walk towards the back of the bus where the game systems are set up. Zayn leans back in the chair, satisfied to have the entire thing to his self.

“What to do now?” Niall asks.

“Be bored, I suppose” Zayn replies.

I shut my eyes, leaning my head against the back of the couch. It hurts again. My heart is pounding heavily against my chest, almost trying to jump out of my chest.

The boys lapse into a conversation, not noticing that I’m escaping the world by floating harmlessly back into memories that involve Brett and I. The memories are painful. I can’t help but fall back into them though; to relive each moment.

I feel bad about being here with them. These boys, they don’t deserve my fucked up world. There is so much that they don’t know. Especially Liam and I’m his God Damn sister. But, mum and I promised to keep it a secret until we absolutely have to tell, but as far as I’m concerned, that will never happen.

I stand up again, making my way to the bunk beds in the next room over. I ruffle through my bag, pulling out my IPod and headphones. As I’m lifting it out of my bag, a photo frame falls out and crashes to the floor.

I bend down to pick it up, cursing as I cut my finger on the broken glass. I lift it up, blinking back tears. Brett’s smiling face stares back at me. This was a year and a half ago, when we were joking around outside, putting on nerd glasses and dressing up. Mum was in the kitchen or living room doing only God knows what. She was never a big fan of Brett, commenting on how he was a trouble maker.

I admit, Brett definitely liked to do things that could get him in trouble, but he never dragged me into them. Not even when I begged to go with him. He always looked after me. That day though, I guess my mum was watching. She took this picture while I was sitting on the swing in our backyard, laughing while Brett was dancing.

I remember that day, and now as I hold up the broken frame, the tears slip down my cheeks again. I throw my bag to the floor, rolling onto my bed and lying on my stomach. I bury my head into the pillow, the broken frame pressing into my hands, no doubt cutting me. I don’t feel it though. I’m overwhelmed with a broken heart. My sobs are soft. I don’t want the boys to hear me.

It must have been ages as I cried. When I finally lifted my head, I glanced down to see my hand covered in dry blood. A deep cut runs along the palm of my hand. It’s not bleeding now, but the cut looks raw. I sigh heavily, pulling myself up to a sitting position. I tuck my IPod back into my suitcase. I wipe my eyes with my good hand, then I stand up and walk to the bathroom.

The mirror above the sink shows me just how terrible I look. Dull dark blue eyes with red tinged puffiness surrounding them, my hair is thrown in every direction, also dull and lifeless. Just like me.

“Blaire, are you alright?” Zayn’s voice rumbles from behind the door.

“Yes, I’ll be out in a minute. I’m washing my face.” I lie, flinching as my voice cracks.

Zayn doesn’t answer. I run my hand under the cold water, wincing as the pain runs up and down my arm. Once the dried up blood is completely off my hand, I press it to my thigh and exit the bathroom. Zayn is nowhere to be seen, so I hurry to my bed and put on one of those glove arm bands. It hides the cut, and the boys will just assume I want to wear it.

I’m honestly surprised the boys didn’t hear me cry either. I guess they just don’t care.

I make my way to the front room again. Liam and Niall are watching a movie. Liam’s arm is wrapped around Niall’s shoulder and he’s leaning against the back of the couch. Zayn is gone, probably with Harry and Louis playing games. Neither of the boys notices me, so I slip back into the bunk bed room.

I look around, clearly bored out of my mind. What am I supposed to do?

“Boys, and Blaire, we’ll be hitting New York in about an hour and a half. We’ll stop somewhere for you guys to stay the night, then off to the City bright and early in the morning.” The driver states over the intercom.

“Finally.” I mutter to myself.

I lay back down on my bottom bed, lying on my back this time. In my bag is the picture frame, where I don’t plan on looking at any time soon. Right now, I just want some sleep.

“Blaire, get the hell up.”

I vaguely hear the voice. I must be dreaming though, because it kind of sounds like Brett.

“Blaire, get up babe. I have a surprise for you today.”

“Blaire, I’m going to pour water on you. I swear I will.”

“Oh, let her be, Liam. She’s had a rough couple of days.”

“We can’t just leave her on here though!”

“Why not, she needs some sleep. She looked knackered earlier too.” this voice is Niall’s. I know that.

That means the other voices have to belong to the other boys, right? But how did they get into my room? I thought they were on tour. And where is Brett? He should be here by now, waking me up, unless he’s sleeping in. He deserves it.

“Wake up, Blaire. We can’t go to the hotel until you’re awake.” That is definitely Liam, but what is he talking about a hotel? I’m in my room for goodness sakes!

I groan, rolling over, blinking my eyes open, only to flinch against the brightness of the room. I look up in surprise to see all five boys towering over my bed. But, it’s not my room, and this most definitely isn’t my bed.

Oh, right. Mum sent me to tour with the boys.

Niall shoots me a friendly smile, obviously more patient than the other boys at the moment. Usually he’s the most impatient, demanding food. Liam looks crossed, Zayn annoyed, but Harry and Louis actually look pretty content. Then again, they are both standing very close to each other.

I swear, they just need to admit their never ending love for one another or I’ll go crazy.

I groan again, reaching up to push Liam back. “Can I get some space?” I snap.

His eyes flicker, but he nods and leaves the room. Zayn follows after him, which leaves me with the three abnormal boys. I admit, Zayn has a weird problem with mirrors, but at least he isn’t obsessed with food, or in love with his best friend but won’t just go for it. Then, Louis is in love with carrots, which is so gross. I happen to hate carrots very much.

Beside the point, I stand up wobbly. Niall leans forward, helping to steady me. I feel my face flush, and I nod curtly at him, trying to keep the ridiculous smile off my face. It’s just Niall, and all he did was keep me from falling. And yet, his touch sent tingles throughout my body.

I grab my bag, following as the boys lead me towards the front room. “So, this hotel, how many rooms are there?”

“Three.” Harry calls from ahead of me.

“Wait, who’s bunking with whom?”

“Well, Harry and I are bunking, obviously.” Louis grins over his shoulder.

I roll my eyes at him. “And I assume Liam and Zayn?”

“Actually no,” Niall answers, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Liam and I are bunking. We always do. You and Zayn have to bunk together.”

“I am NOT sleeping in the same bed as Zayn!” I screech.

Louis laughs, tugging on Harry’s arm as we all exit the tour bus. I walk next to Niall silently, internally fuming over this discovery. It’s not that I don’t like Zayn, but we aren’t exactly the best to put together. We’ll get along, but sleeping in the same bed with Zayn is probably a suicide waiting to happen.

See, Zayn likes his sleep. Usually, he prefers to sleep alone so when they do bunking, he normally gets a room to himself. Liam and Niall have the bromance for the fans, Niam, so they typically share a room. Then of course, Larry Stylinson in action, share a room.

This night is definitely not going to end well.