To Live and Let Go

(Chapter Two: Finley)

She could feel the gaze of nearly every eye on her as Finley continued down the hallway. It had been like this the entire week and she had thought that after the first day or two they would lose interest. Apparently not. They acted like she was the most interesting thing in the world, when she was the least from it. Just because she missed a lot of school the year before and was suddenly back after hardly any explanation didn’t mean people had to pry into her business and make up what really happened.

No one had even come up to her and asked, they had just decided to whisper about her behind her back and it was getting really old. Now she was beginning to wish she had just gone to another school to finish up the year. But it was too late to switch now. She was just going to have to deal with it and pretend like all the stares and whispers didn’t bother her. It was only about eight months, she could survive. At least that was what she kept telling herself.

Thankfully half of the day was finally over with and she was heading to her fifth period class. Then after that, she had her whole lunch period to hide in the little spot she had found and listen to her iPod and pretend she was anywhere else but there. After that, three classes and then she was finished with her first week of hell.

Walking into the class, she continued to ignore everyone as she went and found her seat at the back of class and settled in, grabbing her things from her bag. As the bell rang, their teacher made his way through the door behind a few late kids and told everyone to quiet down as he grabbed his book and opened it to where they left off.

“Ok guys, so I know that it’s Friday and none of you want to be here but after we get through this class we only have a few more hours until the weekend, so because of that I’m going to make a deal with you guys,” Mr. Dawson said as everyone stopped talking.

Finley could tell that they were all eager to hear what he had to say since he was the talk of the school, besides her of course. Everyone loved him and Mr. Gaskarth, not only because they were in a band and graduated students returning as teachers but because they could relate to them. Neither of them hid their distaste for school and always tried to make class a little more exciting whenever things got boring. So whatever it was he had to say to the class, everyone was all ears.

She could tell that Mr. Dawson knew he had everyone’s attention at that by the smirk playing on his lips. “If everyone participates and at least tries to act like they want to be in class, I won’t give you guy’s homework and save it for Monday night. Deal?”

Everyone started talking at once and Finley smiled a little. Well that meant that she could use the weekend for herself since most of her other homework was finished. And that also meant that Finley could finally do what she had been promising her to and not have to deal with the begging all weekend long after she told her that they couldn’t once again.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she glanced up to see Mr. Dawson going over the homework he had given out the night before. Figuring she better pay attention so she can finally graduate, she pulled out her notebook and flipped to the page needed and began to try to pay attention. But her mind was on a billion other things, work, school, home, everything that was going on in her life.

Finally the bell rang and everyone got up to leave. Finley was really in no rush since she was just going to the opposite side of school to have a moment alone since she really needed it. She really couldn’t find any time for herself anymore and her best friend kept telling her that she needed to, but she could never find it. This really was her only time and she couldn’t wait to grab her iPod and clear her mind about everything that worried her.

As she stood and headed to the front of the class, Mr. Dawson looked up from his papers and gave her a small smile as she passed. She gave a weak smile in return as she fixed the strap of her messenger bag and walked out the door into the crowds of kids. Another thing that she liked about Mr. Dawson was that he didn’t give her the sympathetic annoying look all her other teachers gave her. They were the only ones who knew what really happened and made sure she knew that they knew by the annoying glances whenever they looked at her. But Rian Dawson was different.

Either he knew but wanted to treat her like he did or he really didn’t know. But whatever it was, she was glad because she could pretend she was a normal teenage girl for once instead of the sad charity case. Mr. Gaskarth was like that also, but Mr. Dawson was still different. He had kind brown eye and the strange buzz cut. She knew exactly who they were but didn’t really care. Sure she listened to their music but they were just like every other band on her iPod. She had her favorites, and even though All Time Low was at the top of her list, they weren’t her favorite. But she wasn’t like all the other girls who were basically drooling over the two of them.

Finding her favorite spot she had since she was a freshman, she pulled her bag from her shoulder and set it down next to her as she sat on the floor. Grabbing her iPod and book from her bag, she put the headphones in and turned the song she had been listening to before on and opened the book to the page she had left off on. She also had her lunch in and opened the bag and grabbed some food, not really looking from the book in front of her as she took the first bite of her sandwich.

She was so far into her own little world that she didn’t hear or see anyone coming until they were standing right in front of her. When she realized she wasn’t alone in the old hallway, she jumped slightly and looked up staring in shock as she saw who was standing in front of her.

“O-oh, sorry,” she said quietly as she took out her headphones and turned the music down.

Mr. Gaskarth just smirked as he tilted his head to the side, “We Are The Ocean, nice. That’s their new stuff right?”

“Yeah,”

“I didn’t know it came out in the States yet,”

She blushed more as she shook her head, “it didn’t. I ordered it from HMV in England and had it shipped over. They’re one of my favorite bands.”

“I can understand why, they’re new stuff is amazing. They’re really great dudes too.” Mr. Dawson nodded as she blushed more. “So what are you doing back here? Shouldn’t you be with the rest of the kids in the cafeteria?”

“I needed some time alone,”

He nodded, “I can understand that. I just find it funny that you chose to go here.” He must have caught the confused look on her face since he smiled a little as he continued, “This was Alex, Jack and my hide out back when we went here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we used to skip class and come here all the time.” Mr. Gaskarth added as he shared a look with his friend as if they both were thinking about one of the times they skipped. By the looks of it Mr. Dawson understood what he was saying since the same look crossed his face also.

“I uh can leave if you guys want me to. You found it first and all,” she said, grabbing her things and beginning to shove them all in her bag.

Mr. Dawson smiled and shook his head reaching out to stop her. “No it’s fine, we can go somewhere else. You were here first.”

“You guys don’t have to leave, I can share.”

“I thought you wanted to be alone,” Mr. Gaskarth teased as Finley blushed and looked away making them both laugh. “Aw don’t be like that, I was just teasing. Why do you want to be alone so much?” He asked, sitting on the floor across from her. They were in a smaller hallway leading down to an older part of the building where the abandoned classrooms were that haven’t been used in years.

Mr. Dawson took a seat next to Mr. Gaskarth and rolled his eyes as he elbowed his friend. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want; he talks before he thinks about what he’s going to say. We usually just ignore him.”

Finley managed a smile, “it’s fine. It’s just I’m sick of the stares and the judging looks. They think they know what’s going on but they really don’t. They make up stories and don’t bother to ask the truth and I just need to by away.”

They both nodded, seeming to know exactly what she was talking about. But neither of them asked her to explain which she was really thankful about. Mr. Dawson seemed to realize that they needed a subject change since he suddenly reached over and snatched her iPod.

“And he says that I don’t think before I talk. Well obviously he doesn’t think before he takes.” Mr. Gaskarth muttered as he leaned over to watch the other scroll through her music. But she really didn’t care. She was proud of her music collection and by the looks of it she could see herself getting along well with them since they said they liked We Are The Ocean already.

Mr. Dawson laughed, “You know, if Jack were here, he’d turn that into something dirty.” Finley saw Mr. Gaskarth about to say something and smiled, waiting for whatever inappropriate thing he had to say. But he never got to since without even looking up Mr. Dawson knew exactly what he was doing since he continued, “dude, you’ve got Underscore on here!”

Whatever Mr. Gaskarth was about to say was lost when he heard that. “Are you serious? I didn’t even know they still sold stuff.”

“They don’t, I got that off of their Pure Volume account,”

“They still have that up?”

She just nodded as they both laughed, “we’re going to have to tell Flyzik that when we see him this week.”

“Defiantly, oh look, she has All Time Low in here too.”

“Oh please,” Finley muttered as she reached out to try and get the device back from her teacher. “Just because I have your stuff on there doesn’t mean that I’m a fan girl. You’re heads are already big as it is. Yours especially Mr. Gaskarth,”

“Alex,”

“Yeah, I know but-”

“Good, then when we’re alone, it’s Alex and Rian. I already feel weird enough as it is when kids only a little younger than we are call us that. So please for the love of God just call us by our names.”

Finley blushed at that, especially the part where he said about being alone with them and Rian must have picked up on that also since he rolled his eyes. “Dude, you just made that sound really creepy.”

“And you say that I’m the one with my mind in the gutter,”

“You are,” Finley and Rian said at the same time making Alex rolled his eyes.

“Trust me,” Finley continued, “I’ve been to one of your shows. I don’t think I’ve heard that many dick jokes in two years yet you manage to say that many in one night. You and Jack are ridiculous like that.”

Rian cocked his head to the side, “you went to one of our shows?”

“Yeah back when I was 16,”

“Two years ago?”

“Three,”

“You’re nineteen?”

She nodded, “I’m repeating the year. You didn’t hear this from all the other teachers?”

“Does it look like the other teachers like us?” Alex asked, giving her a pointed look. “We’re two new teachers skipping lunch to go to some old hide out we have as kids. All the teachers hated us in high school and still do. Still think we can’t make anything of ourselves.”

“Yeah I know what you mean,”

She could tell that Rian was about to ask her what she meant when the bell suddenly rang signaling the end of lunch. She sighed in both in relief and frustration since she really didn’t want to go back to class. They seemed like they didn’t either since they all had the same looks on their faces as they packed up their things. Rian gave her iPod back and she thanked him, taking the hand he offered her and helped her to her feet.

“Thanks for the company,” she said as she grabbed her bags.

Alex smiled, “yeah, no problem. We should do this again tomorrow, not to sound totally creepy or anything.”

“Haha, sure, I’ll see you in class Alex,”

They were at the part where the old hallways met up with the main ones and Alex rolled his eyes and laughed, “That’s Mr. Gaskarth to you.”

Finley just smiled as she turned and walked down the hall toward her next class. As she did, she was beginning to think that maybe this year wasn’t going to be that bad.