Status: Please check out my new story, "Sasha."

What Happened to You, Me, and Us?

Beating Heart Baby

"I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try."

It's weird. I mean strange....No. Wait, I mean it's just complicated.

Love is normally looked at as a monogamous relationship. ...

Oh, FUCK IT. I'll just tell you the story of a girl who had to decide who her heart really wanted.
This is a story of love, confusion, despair, depression, happiness, and death.


The cool Californian breeze swept through the toes of my feet, dangling out the passenger's side window of a moving car. My fiance and I were on the way to a beach house that his brother owned in Malibu. My fiance is Matt baker, his older brother, Zacky Vengeance. A week ago, Matt told me that Zack thought it would be nice to have us vacation with him and his wife, Gena, at their beach house.

This had bad idea written all over it.

Before Matt and I connected romantically...It was and had always been Zack and I. We had liked, loved, and eventually hated each other. I was 19 when I met Zack, he was 26 and Matt was 20. Zack was the first man that I can rightfully say I have loved more than anything, more than the air I breathed. So what happened to that? Tour did. His band got big and I could not deal with him always being on the road. I was 19 and needed the normal relationship. And when I was in tears, Matt would comfort me. Matt and I had gone to school together and were close friends. I had a cousin named, Brian, who was in Zack's band so it wasn't to long before Zack and I got acquainted.

Through the long nights of me crying to Matt about how much I missed his brother, We fell in "love." And we fell hard and fast. Just as hard and fast as Zack and Gena had. So here we are three years later. Zack, 29. Matt, 23. And I, 21. Zacky, "happily" married and I, "happily" engaged, and not to each other. It's funny how deep emotions thin out. My love for Zack had been replaced by another...And I wouldn't want it any other way. But with a history like ours, just seeing Zack around when his family would have dinners, would be enough to send my heart beating strongly out of my chest. And I knew he always noticed it.

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As the car pulled up to a Spanish styled beach house, I felt sick. The pounding of my heart against my chest had struck me hard. Three years of not being with him and I still get pathetic. Every time I see him, every time Matt talks about him...I still get weak. I slowly inched my legs out of the car and stretched myself completely out. I was hesitant. I was going to be in a house with my soon to be husband, his brother (a man I once loved) and his brother's beautiful wife.

"Babe. Are you feeling okay? Your face looks as if it's lost a little color..." Matt gently placed his pale, chilled hand to the back of my tattooed neck.

"I'm fine, I just got a little lightheaded. But I'm fine, Matt."

We walked up, fingers laced, to the house and were greeted at the door by two barking dogs.

"SHUT UP! Seriously, you two are ridiculous." A completely tattooed arm reached for the door handle as the other hand swatted the howling dogs away.

"Bro! It's great to see you, dude!" Zack extended a hand out to Matt and pulled him in for a tight hug and pat on the back.

I was so scared he was going to hug me. He always did and I hated it. It didn't feel right anymore. It made me sick. It broke my heart.

Matt and Zack released from their hug and said a few more short, general things to each other.

"I've really got to piss. The bathroom is down the hall, right?" Matt said, as he slid half way through the front door causing his bow tie to get caught on the side.

"Yeah, man. You remember where it is! It doesn't grow legs and move anywhere."

The sound of Zack's mellow, honey voice and his slight chuckle at the end of his sentence startled me. It snapped me out of my trance.

"Hey, Zack....Nice to see you." I said almost in a whisper.

"Are you too beautiful to hug me now?" His smirk gave me a slight tingle.

He pulled me into a hug and I was reluctant but I gave in and wrapped my arms around him. His scent was the same it had always been. His body felt the way it always had when we hugged. Perfect.

We stayed there for an abnormal amount of time hugging. We finally pulled apart when I heard Gena talking to Matt in the hall. Zack opened the door slightly more and we walked in. He paused almost as if he wanted to say something or pull me close to him again. But he just smirked to himself and closed the door behind us.

A woman about my height with short blonde hair and a beautiful face walked towards me with open arms.

"Lauren! Oh my God! You look amazing!" She was so nice and it killed me. There was nothing about her that I could hate. She was nice.

I accepted her hug and complimented her as she had done to me.

"Zack and I just started working on dinner." Gena wrapped one of her skinny, elegant hands around Zack's forearm.

"Yeah, you guys cool with grilling outside?"

Matt and I nodded in unison.

"Babe, I'm going to take our stuff up to the guestroom and hop in the shower." Matt then kissed my forehead and headed up the stairs. By the time he was out of sight, Gena had gone into the kitchen.

"Uh, I made sure we got vegan options....You are still vegan, right?" Zack's green eyes starred intently into my light brown ones. He was rubbing his hands together and tracing his knuckles with his right thumb. One of his many nervous habits.

"Yeah, thanks." He turned to walk into the kitchen. "Hey, Zack....You. You, uh, look really good."

His face instantly shot red and a grin stretched across his thin pierced lips. He reached for my hand and held it in his.

"I want to talk to you later. Ya know, maybe alone." He was looking at my small hands and was fiddling with my engagement ring.

I quickly jerked my hand from his just in time.

"Hey, Laurz. Come in the kitchen so we can have girl talk! I made mimosas!" Gena's plump red lips had a delicate smile placed on them as she motioned for me to join her.

I glanced into Zack's eyes and gave him a slight nod. If this vacation was going to be civil, then we had some talking to do.
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It's literally been FOREVER since I have wrote a story or updated a story on here. So I'm going to change that!

Comment/Subscribe. I hope you enjoy the results of me fan-girling.