What Happened to You, Me, and Us?

I was feeling amazing at the memorial service. I saw a lot of old friends and even family. I was peeking over the VIP area into the crowd of fans, when I smelt a familiar cologne.

"I figured I should say hello, even though Brian advised me not to and even though I am 100% positive you hate me. So hello."

Out of my peripheral vision I noticed Zack standing beside me.

"Where's your date?"

He made a huffing noise and shuffled his feet into a different standing position.

"Packing her stuff and moving in with her family till she gets her stuff straight enough to get her own place."

I felt my jaw drop and I look at him.

"She left me. And I think for good this time, Lo."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't feel anything." He turned around and leaned his back against the railing of the VIP balcony. "I just wanted to say hi. I gotta go get ready, we're coming on stage soon."

He lifted his hand as he walked off and gave me a three finger wave like I was some acquaintance. Maybe he was still embarrassed from the beach house? Maybe he was depressed because he was such a romantic idiot.

He looked sad but God damn did he look good.

***
Bullet For My Valentine were finishing up their set and I had grown hyper. I got tired of standing in the same place so I decided to roam around the VIP section and venue. I got hugs and short conversations. I saw the back of a tall, tattooed man talking to a group of people and I knew it was Austin. He looked occupied with entertaining his little friend group, but for some reason I had to say hi.

I straightened up and adjusted my skirt before walking closer. I placed my hand gently on his side and he instantly turned around.

"I know those tiny hands!" He threw his arms around my waist, securely, and lifted me off of the carpeted floor for a few seconds.

"I didn't mean to interrupt, I just really wanted to say hi!"

"I got all the time in the world for you, Lauren! Want to get a drink, walk around and catch up?"

"I'd love that!" I felt my red lips form an ugly, cheesy grin, which I tried to cover up with my hand.

Austin hugged the people he was talking to and took me to the bar for a drink. After that we went walking around backstage.

"So last time I heard from you, you were engaged to Zack's little brother and not to Zack...or me!" He let out a flirtatious chuckle when he said, 'me.'

"I'm trying to figure out how to break things off with Matt. When had a big argument a while back and I feel like since we have gotten back together, I don't want to be with him."

"Then don't! Beautiful woman like yourself, with heart breaker ways should have no problem saying goodbyes."

"He's been out of the country. I just feel like it'd be shitty of me to end things like that. And a heart breaker? Come on, Austin." I stuck my tongue out between my lips.

We have found a leather couch back stage and had decided to turn our chat into a sit down. He had his long, arm around my frail shoulders and kept smiling at me.

"You! Yeah, you! You are the queen of heart breakers."

"What's that supposed to me?"

"It means that no matter what man gets romantically close to you, you'll always think about Zacky."

"God, you sound like Brian."

We both let out a small laugh and I rested my head on his chest.

"Speaking of, they should be going on any minute now." He glanced down at the flashy watch on his right wrist.

"So enough of me, What happened to you and Jen?"

"Oh, that crazy girl? She's my fiance now!"

I was shocked. I'm sure my eyes popped out of my skull when he said that.

"Wow, awesome. Congratulations, Austin."

"Yeah, I figured when you got a good one, why let 'em go. So I proposed to her as soon as I got home from tour."

"I wish someone else shared that mentality."

"Listen." His hand held mine on his lap. "You are drop, dead gorgeous. I mean mind blowingly beautiful and just a good person. He's my dude but if he can't realize that then he's the biggest fuck up on this planet."

"Jen is a very lucky girl to have you, Austin."

He began to blush and he looked down at his feet like Zack always did when he was nervous or blushing.

I heard a shuffle of feet and Avenged Sevenfold morale boosts coming of the crowd. Austin and I stood up to greet the guys before the stepped out on stage. I hugged them all and let them know that they meant the world to me. They were family. I let them know that Jimmy would be proud of them. And then it came time to hug Zack. I felt a weird wave of emotion overcome me and I just grabbed him into a hug. Surprisingly, he reacted the same way. It was something about remembering Jimmy's death that made me realize that anyone could just disappear for good. Even someone you're made at. For that moment, I put the problems away.

"Lauren, I love you."

I just kissed the side of his cheek. I saw Brian and Austin watching us and exchanging words with each other...obviously about Zack and I.

"You better get going! If you boys make those people wait a second longer we might have a riot."

Feeling shut down, he nodded and gave me a weak smile.

They boys disappeared on to the stage and began their set. Little did the crowd know, that in memory of Jimmy, the guys were going to play a few Pinkly Smooth songs with Zack singing in place of Jim.

"So where's Gena?"

I snapped out of my thought process and focused on Austin again.

"Uh, uhm...I don't know. I guess she isn't feeling well tonight or something."

"Did I ever tell you how good I am at reading lips?"

I shot him a side eye glance and lifted my brows.

"Do you believe he loves you?"

I shrugged and looked off at a corner.

"Coming from a friend and someone who thinks the world of you. You need to call Matt. Like tonight."

"And say what, Hey honey, Getting back with your brother. Love him more. Peace out brah."

Austin rolled his eyes.

"You need to call him. Seriously." I huffed and looked up at the ceiling. "Just say hey. And let it go from there."

*********************************************

The person you have tried to reach is not available at the moment, please leave a message at the sound of the beep. Beep.

Hey Matt, it's me obviously. Uh, I really wish you would've picked up your phone, but I'm also glad you didn't because I'm too much of a coward to hear your reaction.....