Status: Please check out my new story, "Sasha."

What Happened to You, Me, and Us?

I Went to the Beach and All I Got Was This Stupid Headache.

I woke up the next morning with half of Matt's pasty body laying over me. He was so light, as a matter of fact, too light. It was one of the things I missed about falling asleep next to Zack. Zack would hold me and when I'd wake up, his heavy leg would be draped over me, as he laid on his side, but he would still be holding on to my waist. I miss that comfort.

"Good morning, babe...And baby."

He gently placed a hand on my tummy. And I instantly got sick with guilt. How was I going to tell him I lied? Once I told him the truth, I knew I would loose my relationship with him. Honestly, I felt I deserved to be without him. He was too good for me. Especially, considering the fact that I was a liar. He wanted to be with me so bad.

I gave a sickly smile and gently placed my hand on top of Matt's.

"Are you feeling alright, Lauren?"

"Yeah, I'm just dealing with morning sickness."

"We're going to be great parents! I hope it's a girl. What do you think?"

"I...uh...I really don't know."

Matt got up and leaned over to kiss my forehead before walking into the bathroom for a shower. I walked into the hall, only to hear arguing coming from Zack and Gena's bedroom. I could tell that she was on the verge of tears from the wave of tone in her voice. I hope Zack hadn't told her about our late night conversation. He knew better than that, I hope.

I stood still, eavesdropping until I heard their bedroom door fly open. Gena walked past me with tears in her eyes and she grabbed my arm, hinting for me to follow her. We walked down the stairs and out to the deck.

"Gena, breathe. Tell me what's going on?"

By now, big sobs were coming out of her mouth and full tears were streaming from her blue eyes.

"I tried to bring up children."

As soon as she finished that sentence, another big sigh hit the air. Her chest was moving up and down rapid as she tried to get her breathing start to speak more clearly.

"I asked him if we could start a family. I want to be a mother."

I instantly grabbed her into a hug.

"Gena, I'm so sorry. What did he say to you, to make you this upset though?"

"He said no. And then I questioned him about it and he told me that he was never going to have children with me. He said, he 'wasn't the father type.' What's wrong with me? My own husband doesn't want to have kids with me."

"You know how he gets when he's cranky. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Deep down I wanted him to mean every word he said.

"Ugh, I'm sorry I'm a wreck right now. I just see how in love you and Matt are and I'm envious that you guys get to start a family. This is our last day vacationing and I shouldn't be stressing everyone out with me crying."

"Girl, it's all good. Let's just have a good rest of the day!"

She wiped her tears with the side of her hands and hugged me before walking back inside. As she had wiped her tears, I noticed a tattoo on the side of one of her fingers that read: 'Endless Love.' I hated that she loved him as much as I did. I wanted him. I wanted Zack like I had, had him. True love never dies. I would hate for her to get hurt in the process.

I saw an open pack of cigarettes sitting on the table. I stole a cigarette and sat on the stairs of the deck. The sliding glass door opened behind me and the sound of shuffled feet could be heard, coming up behind me. It was Zack.

One of his tattooed arms lifted in the air and lit the cigarette between my lips with a black zippo.


"So when are we going to finish talking?"

"What's there left to say?"

"Here you go again with that stupid shit, Lauren."

He shook his head and then slicked his hair back with his left hand.

"Whatever. Talk to me when you're ready to be about it."

"Be about what? What exactly should I be about, Zack? YOU ARE FUCKING MARRIED. We're done, we've been done and after all this time I don't know why the fuck you're all of a sudden interested in trying to talk about us."

He quickly stood up and took the cigarette from my lips and placed it between his. I was about to jump on him for it when I looked behind me to see Matt walking towards us. After all, pregnant woman shouldn't smoke.

"You don't care anymore obviously." Zack muttered under his breath before flicking the cigarette out to the sand.

"Hey! Zack...Lauren."

Zack and I were both standing now and looking at Matt.

"Is it cool if we leave in an hour, babe? I want to get back home and sit mom and dad down and tell them about the baby!"

Zack rolled his eyes.

"Uh. I don't think we should tell them just yet but if you really want to leave early, it's fine with me."

There was such much awkward tension in that beach house and I couldn't wait to leave. I didn't need to be around Zack.

"Well, when we get home, we can discuss when to tell our parents."


The hour had lapsed and I had packed out stuff up. With in those last 60 minutes, I was privileged enough to completely avoid Zack. This vacation was a horrible idea. I wanted to rewind before the past several days, and go back to how I only thought about Matt. Now, all I could think about was Zack. I wanted him, I needed him, and I think I was still in love with him.
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Part of the next chapter will be in Zacky's point of view!