If Only Tonight

Blurry Dividing Lines:
Chapter Thirty Eight: ...Smash His Into Pieces

"How is Jeremy? What's he like?"

Mia juggled the phone, in between getting a pen and her calendar to write down the information on her screen. She was writing down the dates of the next few meetings that she and the other specialists had with Felix. Sure her email reminded her, but seeing it on her calendar would reinforce the point.

"He's fine. He's really nice. He likes the same kinds of movies as me. He's from central London. He's the sale manager for Best Buy. He's read a few of the same books as me. He's just really nice." She listed.

"You already said he's nice...I get it...he's really nice. So how long have you been seeing him?"

"Just a week or two. We went to see a movie a couple of nights ago." She told a curious Stacie.

"What movie?"

"The Black Swan." Mia said, distractedly.

"Ooooh sounds romantical..." Stacie teased.

"Not going there, Stace." Mia warned her friend.

"Aww come on, spill. I'm stuck here with a bunch of whiny grad students driving me nuts. Insomnia is now my middle name. Throw me a bone!" Her best friend pleaded with her.

"Nothing happened...sheesh. We had dinner and watched the movie. Then he drove me home." Mia told her, turning her full attention to the conversation.

"And?" Stacie asked, hopefully.

"And nothing." Mia said, dashing the other girl's hopes.

"Fine be that way...so how's life with his highness, the king of cold?" Stacie said, sounding disappointed. Her friend had changed the subject to her second favourite subject to bother Mia with.

"He's fine. Matthew's been going out on more dates than I have." Mia said, irritation seeping in to her voice. "You should really stop calling him that, though. He's not that bad."

"Whatever...but is that annoyance I hear in your voice?" Stacie was never one to miss anything.

"No...why would I be annoyed?" Mia said, quickly.

"Oh, I don't know...he's been your favourite player since forever...and because you secretly like him...and it kills you to see him with another girl."

Shocked, Mia shook her head. Leaning back in to her chair, Mia ran her other hand through her brown hair.

"I don't secretly like him. It only bothers me when I have to deal with him coming to his appointments late." She said, thinking how right her friend was. She hated the thought of Matthew going out with anyone...it grated her nerves to think who he was spending time with.

"I don't like him!" She tried convincing herself.

"What was that?"

Shocked, Mia realized she had spoken out loud.

"I said, its just like him. You know...to come late." She said, trying to cover up.

"Whatever, sweetheart. I so believe you..." Mia could hear the suspicion in her friend's voice.

"So how is your group going? Did any of them start writing?" Mia asked, changing the subject.

-----

Gritting his teeth, he couldn't believe how he had gotten stuck in this situation. Oliver and Nathaniel had asked Mia to bring Jeremy with them to explore Trafalgar Square. It had been a while since any of them had ventured in to the city. Wearing dark shades and hats, they had trekked through the city with Mia and Jeremy in tow. It annoyed him that the other two players had so openly invited Mia's beau.

Trudging alongside Nathaniel, Matthew quietly listened to the group's conversation. Mia was talking animatedly about how the first time she had come to the square with her friend Stacie, they had wound up lost.

Nathaniel and Oliver were laughing at her, as they headed towards Piccadilly Circus. The circle lit up with huge LED billboards atop the buildings encircling it, Matthew watched Jeremy as he pointed out some sights and explained them. Know it all, Matthew thought venomously.

He watched, aware of his own jealousy, as Jeremy's arm made it's way around Mia's waist. At that moment, Mia stepped away from Jeremy and had moved to where Nathaniel was sitting on the statue at the center of Piccadilly circus. He watched as Jeremy's arm dropped limply.

Sucker, he thought. Rejoicing slightly, Matthew could barely contain his smirk. He walked over, pointedly sitting on the other side of Mia; as Jeremy walked with Oliver towards them.

"Don't you look like you're having fun?"

Turning to see Mia smiling at him.

"Really?"

"No...you look bored out of your mind." She told him, nudging him with her knee.

"I'm just tired out." He said, giving a reasonable alternative to his otherwise dampened mood.

"Really? Your dates tire you out?" She said, poking fun at him. He had made it no secret about his social life.

Yea...and so do yours...he thought silently. Instead of replying to Mia, he just shrugged.

"He seems like a nice guy." Matthew said, turning the subject away from him.

"He is." Mia affirmed.

Before he could say anymore, Nathaniel had decided to join in to the conversation.

"Jeremy seems really interesting. I didn't know he could build ships in bottles. I've always thought that was hard...but it sounds cool!"

Before Matthew could add another word, Jeremy had called Mia over to him to see something.

Watching her go to the brown haired boy, he could feel himself drowning in despair. As Jeremy led her to a shop across the street, his heart felt like it was being smashed in to pieces. I'm so stupid...he thought, as Oliver sat beside him talking to Nathaniel.

-----

Opening the door and stepping in to the darkness, Mia groped for the light switch. Finally flicking the lights on, she kicked off her shoes in one corner, and flopped on to the couch.

Jeremy had taken the train home, while she had gotten a ride back to the team complex with Oliver; who had dropped her and Nathaniel off before driving himself and Matthew home.

Feeling content, Mia lay on the couch not willing to move. It had been a good night out, she thought. The guys had made an effort to include Jeremy. Though, now that she thought about it, Matthew had looked a little put out by the newcomer. I'm just imagining it, she thought. A part of her couldn't help but hope that maybe her favourite player hated her going out with anyone because secretly he wanted to ask her out...I've got to stop listening to Stacie, she berated herself all the while trying to stop further ideas from popping in to her head.

Unable to completely shake off the thought, Mia thought over the outing. Jeremy had been fun to hang out with. They had gone in to a souvenir shop and he had gotten her a ship in a bottle. Smiling at the thought, Mia couldn't believe he was able to make those things. They looked so difficult.

'My grandfather taught me, when I was little.' He had told her, when she asked where he had learned the skill.

Maybe he was right for her, she wondered. She certainly felt as though he could be trusted. I like him...I guess, she thought as she got up from the couch.

Before she could get to the bedroom, her phone beeped. Pulling it out of her pocket, Mia glanced at the screen. There was text message from Jeremy.

Curious, Mia clicked the message open.

'Come with me to Indigo tomorrow? Great band playing there. Is it a date?' He had written to her.

Not giving it another thought, Mia typed her reply, smiling to herself.

'Sure! See you then!'

-----

Hoping to get away from the knowledge that Mia would be going out with Jeremy again tonight, Matthew had thought it would be best if he went out with Lucas, Nathaniel, and the other guys. Oliver had wanted to spend time with Ariana, so he had taken her out to dinner.

Looking around, he could see people dancing in time to the music. The band on stage had lasers beaming in the background, lights flashed, the club was alive.

"Why so quiet, Matt?" Nathaniel asked, as he brought their drinks.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking." He said vaguely.

"About what?" Nathaniel asked in disbelief.

"You know, the upcoming match...and stuff."

"Right." The brown haired player sounded as though he didn't believe him.

"Matt...did you invite Mia?" Nathaniel asked.

"No, why?" He bristled at the sound of the name he was trying to forget.

"She's over there...with Jeremy..."

Matthew looked to where Nathaniel was pointing. Sure enough he saw her. Mia was standing at the bar talking to Jeremy. She hadn't seen him. Watching, while his heart plummeted, he saw Jeremy lean in and say something to which Mia nodded. His heart shattered as he saw Mia leave with the other guy hand in hand.

-----

The music was great, Mia thought as she and Jeremy moved closer to the bar to get some drinks. The band had played a great set.

"So what do you think?" Jeremy asked her.

"They are really good." She told him.

He took hold of her hand, leading her through people. She held on loosely, not sure of her feelings for him. She didn't know what else to do. A part of her liked him, but another was unsure about where they were heading and if he was right for her.

"So what would you like?" He asked her.

"Coke would be nice." She told him.

"Alright. A coke, and a beer, please." He ordered for them.

As their drinks arrived, Jeremy turned to her.

"Want to head out? Take a walk or something..." He trailed off.

"Okay, let's take a walk." She agreed.

Carrying their bottles of Coke and beer, Jeremy led Mia out of the club and in to the dark street.

"Starry night, yeah?"

Mia looked up to where he was looking, bright little stars were scattered across the black sky.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

They walked down the street, hand in hand. The cool September air, wrapped around them. With no idea where they were heading, Mia blindly followed Jeremy.

He stopped once they reached a grassy hill. Taking off his jacket, he motioned to Mia.

"Aren't you cold?" She asked hesitantly, as he sat down.

"I was born here. It's in my blood to withstand the rain and cold." He told her, his voice sounding as though he was grinning

Shaking her head, she sat down beside him.

"I was born and raised in Canada, but that doesn't mean I can withstand the winter without a jacket." She told him, as he laughed at her.

"Point taken."

Hearing Jeremy laugh, Mia couldn't help but think of Matthew. The footballer had such a smooth deep laugh. Even if not physically present, he was always there to ruin the moment...Sighing silently, Mia pushed the thoughts away.

"So did you have a nice time?" Her date asked.

"Yes, I did. You have a really good taste in music. Only second to mine." She told him. He chuckled as heard this.

"So...I really had a good time with you." He told her.

Looking over at him, Mia saw his blue eyes shine in the moonlight. A few days ago, maybe she would have been less hesitant to tell him that she liked him...but lately she had felt as though someone was stealing her away...another blue eyed boy. Still, hoping maybe it was just her nerves and not wanting to hurt Jeremy's feelings, Mia gathered her words.

"Yea, me too." She told him.

Truthfully, she did like hanging out with him. His good nature, and humour were a welcome change from the guys she had met when she was a student. Mia was just a little unsure about their future. Stop being such a worry wart...enjoy the present, her mind shouted at her.

He leaned over and before she knew it, he kissed her. His soft lips against hers, Mia felt butterflies in her stomach. As he pulled away, Mia could feel her cheeks flame, she looked up the stars, unsure of herself.

"Would you like to join me for dinner on Thursday?" He asked, quietly.

There was a match coming up on Saturday, there would probably be a lot of last minute work, she thought. But she would likely be free Thursday evening.

"I would love to join you." She said, trying to push her uncertainty away.

Jeremy's arm pulled her closer, she leaned on his shoulder; still wondering if she was doing the right thing.

-----

Walking in to the apartment, he saw the bathroom door open. Mia walked out, wearing a midnight blue, wrap around, knee length dress. Keeping his jaw from dropping, Matthew stared at his shoes.

'Hey...what are you doing here?" She asked, sounding surprised at seeing him.

"The match against Liverpool is in two days." He reminded her, having gained control of his thoughts, he looked up at her.

"Right...I forgot about that." She said, running a hand through her hair. Her brown hair tousled lightly, Mia looked stunning.

"Hot date?" He asked, remembering her inquisition of him the last time.

"Something like it." She answered with a smirk. She remembered that time too.

"I have to finish getting ready. Can you tell me when Jeremy arrives?" She asked, as she headed in to the room.

"Yea sure. Just so you know, Oliver and Nathaniel are coming over to watch some movies." He said, as she reappeared with her make up bag.

"Sounds like fun." She said, before closing the door of the bathroom.

Flipping through the stack of movies on the coffee table, Matthew was consumed with only one thought. How could he stop Mia from going on the date? Jeremy seemed like a decent guy, and if it wasn't for Mia going out with him, Matthew wouldn't have anything against him. Maybe they would be friends? Sitting on the couch, Matthew tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

Before he could think anymore, he heard the door unlock. In stepped Oliver and Nathaniel.

"Hey! What are we watching first?" Nathaniel asked with enthusiasm.

Shrugging, Matthew offered him the pile of movies.

"Take your pick."

As Nathaniel settled on the couch beside him and began sorting through the movies, Oliver looked over at him.

'Where's Mia?"

Before Matthew could answer, Mia rushed out of the bathroom. She stopped in her tracks as she saw the three of them.

"Hey!" She greeted them.

"I forgot my eyeliner." Mia explained, before running in to the bedroom.

"Shouldn't you be at home, Oliver?" She asked stopping suddenly, as though just realizing that Oliver was with them.

"Ariana and Lina are having a girlie night sleep over at Matthew's. So I got booted out." The older player explained. They were quiet, the only sound was of Mia rummaging through her drawers.

"Going out?" Nathaniel asked, loud enough for her to hear.

"Yea...Jeremy invited me." She told them, reappearing.

"On a date?" Oliver asked, as Matthew bit his tongue to keep from saying anything.

Rolling her eyes at the three of them, she ducked back in to the bathroom.

"She looks nice." Nathaniel observed, before turning his attention back to the DVDs.

"No wonder you've been so cranky." Oliver muttered.

"What?" Matthew asked in shock.

"You've been storming around, like something's bothering you. Now it's obvious." Oliver told quietly him, a smirk forming. The blond player sat down, grinning at Matthew, Nathaniel was oblivious to their exchange.

"Shut up..." Matthew mumbled.

"How about we watch Ghost Rider?" Nathaniel asked them.

"No way, let's watch Dinner For Schmuchs." Oliver suggested.

"Nope...I want to watch Transporter 3." Matthew added his own opinion.

The three of them bickered, Matthew only did so half-heartedly. There was something that weighed heavily on his mind.

"I'm going to keep looking..." Nathaniel decided when they didn't come to an agreement.

As Matthew got up to get something to drink, there was a knock on the door. The other two players looked at him. Glancing at the bathroom door, Matthew could see that Mia had not heard the sound.

He walked over and opened the door slightly, an idea starting to form in his mind. Oliver and Nathaniel were watching him closely.

"Hello...is Mia there?" Jeremy peered over Matthew's shoulder. Dressed in a black collared shirt and tie, with black pants, he had an overcoat on; he shuffled nervously on his feet.

Obstructing the view, Matthew gave the guy a once over.

"She's getting ready."

"Oh..." Jeremy gave a nervous laugh.

"I didn't realize you were her roommates too." The newcomer tried to make small talk.

"It was by accident." Matthew said, shortly.

"Oh...umm...do you know how long she'll be taking? I could just wait in the car..." Jeremy squirmed.

"It shouldn't be long...but while we're here. We just wanted to ask what your plans were?" He asked motioning to the other guys on the couch; he suddenly had an idea of how to get rid of Jeremy.

"Well, I was going to take her to Nobu for dinner, and then maybe watch a movie, then go to my place for drinks." He said.

Hearing this, Matthew decided there was no way he could watch Mia go out with Jeremy or anyone else for that matter. He couldn't risk her getting hurt. He knew he was selfish...but he couldn't help himself.

"You do know she doesn't drink, right?" He asked the brown haired fellow standing across from him.

"Yea..."

"Look, Jeremy...we really like you. You seem like a good person to be dating Mia. It's just I think maybe you have the wrong impression of her." Matthew started, trying to gently put the guy down. He didn't know how long he had before Mia came out.

'What the hell is he doing?" He heard Nathaniel whisper.

"No idea..." Oliver muttered.

I'm doing this for Mia, he thought adamantly.

"What do you mean?" Jeremy asked, confusion written all over his face.

"What do you think is going to happen back at your place?" Matthew asked pointedly. He remembered what Mia had said about the ring on her finger. Her promise to herself...Jeremy could not have been the right guy.

"I just thought maybe..." Jeremy trailed off.

"Exactly. But I think you need to know that Mia is not the kind of girl that will go all the way with you unless your the right one." He told him.

Jeremy was silent. He could see the hesitance in Jeremy's eyes, he had managed to create doubt, Matthew pounced on the opportunity.

"Look, if your ready to go slow, then by all means you should stay around. We just don't want her to get hurt." Matthew pressed on, taking on a slightly menacing look. "If you're not ready, then you have a chance to leave without anyone getting hurt...and she won't know."

He watched as Jeremy mulled this over. Walk away from her; Matthew glared at the other boy, momentarily hoping the he could hear him.

"You know what...I'm sorry but I think we're looking for two different things. I think I'm going to go...Sorry..." Jeremy told Matthew quietly, sounding remorseful, before leaving.

Closing the door Matthew headed back towards the other two players, feeling pleased. They were giving him a strange look.

"What?" He asked, with irritation.

"You just told Mia's date off. She's going to kill you." Nathaniel told him, looking at him wide eyed. Oliver was shaking his head.

"No she's not, because she isn't going to know." Matthew growled.

"Yes she will."

"No, she's not, because neither of you are going to tell her." He glared menacingly.

"Why did you do that?" The younger player asked.

"I don't want her getting hurt like she did with Ryan." He gave a plausible explanation. Oliver remained quiet, not looking at him.

Before Nathaniel could ask him any more questions Mia stepped out of the bathroom.

"Did Jeremy come?" She asked them, the two players on the couch looked over at him as she spoke. Both had You're-so-screwed looks planted on their faces.

Glaring at the other two with a retaliatory look that said 'I dare you to tell her', Matthew spoke up.

"No he didn't."

"So, who was at the door?" Mia asked.

"A pizza delivery guy. He had the wrong floor." Matthew lied, hoping she wouldn't get suspicious.

"He should be here by now...I wonder where he is." Looking puzzled, she walked in to their shared room, closing the door behind her.

"Neither of you are going to say anything." He whispered ferociously to his comrades.

Nathaniel had a suspicious look on his face, as Oliver shrugged.

"You like her!" Nathaniel exclaimed, as he drew the conclusion.

"Shut up! I don't!" Matthew hissed.

"You do! I can't believe I didn't get it at first...you like her...that's why you're being such an idiot." The younger player shot back.

Matthew folded his arms behind his head, as he walked over to his friends. Oliver was enjoying watching him squirm. Knowing it was better to keep Nathaniel in the loop, rather than let him blurt the news straight to Mia, he decided to come clean.

"Fine, I like her. But if you breathe one word to anyone...I will kill you, Nathaniel." He said viciously emphasizing the last point.

The brown haired player, looked as though Christmas had come early. The look of glee on Nathaniel's face made him regret his confession immediately.

"Alright, Matt...I won't breathe a word. I'll just say it. To Mia!" He smirked at the blue eyed footballer.

"Shut up, Nathaniel...promise me you won't say anything, especially not to her." Matthew gnarled.

"Okay...fine...I promise...Sheesh...you're not fun." Rolling his eyes at Matthew, Nathaniel agreed.

"How long do you think he can keep this up?" An amused Nathaniel asked turning to Oliver.

"A few months, tops." Oliver grinned.

"You're on! I think he'll crack by Christmas...especially if Mia goes out more! We should help her!" Nathaniel said.

"You guys are going to lose your blasted little bets. I'll keep it up as long as I have to." Matthew said with irritation. "Don't dare set her up on any dates...or I will crush you..."

No sooner had he said the words, Mia came out of the room looking dejected.

"What's wrong?"

-----

Walking out of the bathroom, thinking she had heard someone outside, Mia saw Matthew glaring at Oliver and Nathaniel. Okay...she thought. Knowing that they could get in to heated arguments about which movies to watch, Mia suspected this was about something else.

"Did Jeremy come?" She asked.

Oliver and Nathaniel looked over at Matthew. What's going on? She wondered.

"No he didn't." The blue eyed footballer told her.

"So, who was at the door?" Mia asked, she could have sworn she heard someone at the door.

"A pizza delivery guy. He had the wrong floor." Matthew answered.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Mia could see that it was past the time Jeremy had agreed upon to pick her up. That wasn't like him. From the time she had spent with him, she had learned that he was punctual.

"He should be here by now...I wonder where he is." She said, feeling confused.

Heading in to the shared bedroom, Mia closed the door behind her.

Getting out her phone, she clicked on the screen. There were no missed calls, or text messages. I don't understand...she wondered.

She flipped through her contacts list until she found Jeremy's number. Clicking on dial, she called him. There was no answer. She tried again, and still no one picked up. Trying for a third and final time, Mia was upset when Jeremy didn't answer.

Deciding to text him, She wrote a short 'Where are you?' and sent it. Usually Jeremy would reply within minutes. Mia waited five, then ten minutes; still there was no answer.

"What the hell?" Mia muttered out of exasperation. She didn't know what had happened...had she said something to make him stand her up?

Whatever, he's not coming...he's not worth it then...She tried convincing herself.

Having dated a couple of guys while she was in university, Mia had never been stood up...though she had been dumped. The feeling of rejection had always been hard to swallow.

Feeling dejected, Mia walked out of the room. No sooner had she walked in to the living room; Oliver, Nathaniel, and Matthew looked over to her. Stupid move, Mia...she thought.

"What's wrong?" Matthew asked, looking worried. It was one of the few times she had seen the look on him. Usually it was she who worried over him.

"Jeremy's not answering my calls." She admitted. She felt so embarrassed saying it out loud. Not like any of them would understand...and knowing Matthew...he would probably be the guy standing some girl up.

"Forget him, then. He's not worth your time." Frowning, Matthew told her, as he sat down on the couch beside Oliver.

"Yea...he's stupid to stand you up." Nathaniel added. She smiled...but still she couldn't shake off the feeling of rejection.

"Why don't you join us?" Oliver suggested, he looked concerned.

"Alright...I will..." She agreed. Not like I have any other plans, she thought a little miserably.

Going in to her room, Mia picked out a baggy shirt and black capris to go to bed in, knowing she would be too lazy to change after watching movies with the guys.

Unable to help herself, Mia checked her phone. Still, Jeremy hadn't replied. She felt hurt. Sitting on Matthew's treadmill, Mia deleted Jeremy's contact information and any trace of his calls or text messages. Powering down her phone, she got up and stuck it in a dresser drawer. Out of sight, out of mind...she thought closing the drawer. A small part of her felt relief. Odd...she thought, I should be furious, not relieved.

Walking out of the room, she found the three footballers still arguing over movies.

"I can't believe you guys haven't decided on a movie yet." She told them.

"Why don't you help us?" Oliver offered, nudging Nathaniel and both of them shifting over to make space between Oliver and Matthew on the three seat couch.

Taking a light blanket from one of the other couches, Mia settled in her seat between them.

Leaning over to see what movies, Mia made her choice.

"How about Death Race? Jason Statham's in it!"

"It's better than watching Ghost Rider..." Matthew muttered.

"Alright..." Nathaniel agreed reluctantly.

"Good...finally we agree on a movie." Oliver said, sounding relieved.

As Oliver started up the movie, Nathaniel closed the lights. In the darkness, Mia couldn't help but think back to Jeremy. Why would he do that to her? Yes, she had been unsure of him...but she was willing to give him a chance. At least they're here for me...she thought about the boys sitting with her.

Leaning over, Mia settled against Matthew's shoulder. Having him there was oddly comforting. Huddled in her blanket, Mia watched the movie, trying to keep her thoughts at bay.

-----

Feeling a little bad about his part in ruining Mia's night. Matthew saw the upset look on her face, as she sat down between him and Oliver.

Nathaniel had the cheek to wink at him, as he had scooted over to make room for the girl. Matthew had glared daggers at him.

Once they had picked the movie, the lights had been shut off. He could feel Mia move around trying to sit comfortably. Once she had stopped squirming, Mia leaned on to his shoulder, surprising Matthew.

Keeping his breathing calm, Matthew could see the look on her face in the flickering television light. She was upset.

You'll be alright, he wanted to tell her. Jeremy doesn't deserve you...and neither do I...he thought.

Trying to ignore his feelings, Matthew tried to keep his thoughts quiet. It was when he felt her wrap her arm around his, he knew he was losing. The familiarity of it...she only did that when there was storm, when she was upset and scared. Right now, she was upset.

Knowing he would have to better at hiding his feelings from now on, Matthew took it as his last opportunity. Lifting his other hand, he held on to hers, squeezing it lightly to reassure her that she would never be alone.