If Only Tonight

Blurry Dividing Lines:
Chapter Fifty Eight: There Goes My Heart

Tidying up her room, Mia looked around to see if anything else was out of place. All her books were in place, even the one she caught Matthew with. She smiled at the thought. She had come back from work only to find him in the living room reading. As she crept up on him, she saw that he was reading 'The Lucky One'.

"How's the book?" She had asked him. The look of surprise on his face quickly left to form a grin.

"Not as bad as I thought it would be." He had said, as she left him reading.

Finding an empty basket in her closet, she put in all the clothes she would be washing over the weekend. She had delayed packing for far too long, and with her flight back home looming, she needed to get everything in order. Which reminded her of one other thing she had delayed.

Looking at the time, she pulled out her phone. Mia dialled a number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" Came a familiar voice.

"Hi Dad!" She answered cheerfully.

"Mia! How are you? Is everything okay?" Her father asked with concern.

"Yes Dad, everything is fine. How are you?" She asked, realizing it had been a while since either of them had called the other. A fact that surprised her, she had thought he would have started bombarding her with messages by now.

"You're mother and I are fine, sweet heart." Mia kept herself from coming up with a snide remark, she wanted to make her father happy.

"So, Dad...I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming home for two weeks." Mia told her father, tentatively.

"Really? You're staying for Christmas?" He asked her, sounding excited.

"Not exactly." Mia felt guilty. Ever since she had moved to England to study, her father asked her each year if she would be coming for Christmas. Most of the time she had the excuse of one or two of her exams being held a day or two before; this time she had a different reason.

"I can't stay for Christmas, Dad, sorry. The team has a match on Boxing Day again this year, so all the doctors have to be present for training on Christmas Day." She said, trying to lessen the blow. "But I will make it for the memorial. No one on my roster is playing any international games, so I booked time off."

"Alright. I was hoping you'd stay for the holidays. Your mother and I are going up to North Bay to spend the holidays with your Mom's parents. They would have loved to see you since they won't be able to make to the memorial this year." He said, sounding a little disappointed.

"Sorry, Dad. Maybe next year?" She added for his sake. Mia was unsure what the team fixture would look like then, but if she had some time off then maybe she would go home for the holidays, just to make her father happy.

"Alright, sweetheart. Anyway, I have to go. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, and I need to prepare. I'll talk to you soon. Take care." Her father said.

"Yea, sure. Bye Dad." Mia hung up. At least she was over with it. Now there wouldn't be the ten emails, and the many phone calls where both she and her father would be left exasperated.

There was just one more person she had to call. Her cousin, Elena. Knowing that her father's parents would be staying with her parents for the memorial, Mia did not want to be stuck with her mother for two weeks. She knew that by the end it, her resolve to be on her best behaviour would be in tatters while she would be in tears. Sitting on the bed, Mia scrolled through her phone's contact list. I'll call her tomorrow, Mia thought deciding to delay the phone call for one more day.

Getting up, she turned to go through her closet, Mia heard a knock on her door. Looking up at the intrusion, she found Matthew leaning in the doorway. He looked like he had come back from the gym.

"Hey!" She greeted him, motioning for the footballer to come inside.

"Hey...are you busy?" He asked her, as she entered her closet and chucked a few clothes in to the basket. Mia looked at the black shirt in her hand. Dirty or Clean? She wondered, before lightly smelling it. Clean, she surmised.

"Not really." She told him with a grin, as she hung up her black shirt.

"We're going to watch a movie. Do you want to come?"

"Sure." She agreed happily. Mia decided she wasn't really in the mood to clean out her closet just yet, she walked towards him, closing the door to her closet. "What movie?"

"I think Nathaniel picked 'Horrible Bosses'."

"Sounds good, I guess."

Walking out of her room, she couldn't help but notice that with out Nevarra, Matthew was more than happy to spend time with the others including her. There was no hesitance over where he should be going and who he should be around. With Nevarra gone, Mia had started to notice how different it had been to be living in the same house but never seeing the blue eyed footballer. The more she thought about it, the more her own feelings kept bubbling up to the surface. She fought to push them back down, clearing her head with a shake.

Following Matthew, down the stairs, she pulled out her coat from the closet. No doubt, it would be Matthew driving the two of them to the location. She checked her coat pockets for her wallet and keys, while checking if her jeans pocket held her phone. Finding her heeled boots, she shoved her feet in them unceremoniously. Mia was happy at getting a chance to go out. She wasn't too keen on packing for her trip just yet.

Sitting in Matthew's black Lamborghini, Mia missed her own car. Her poor Dodge Challenger had been relegated to the underground garage, and she rarely got to drive it even on weekends. As the engine started, Mia looked out over the property. Snow covered the once green lawn.

"Oliver told me to remind you that tomorrow night is the cancer benefit. The team's going, and he didn't want you to forget." Matthew informed her, as they drove on to the motor way.

"Is he coming?" Mia asked hopefully, since as of late, Oliver was staying back to care for Ariana. She missed seeing either of them.

"He's coming tonight, but he's not sure about coming to the benefit. Ariana has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and he might just stay home with her. But Nathaniel and I will be going."

They were quiet, as Mathew drove them to their destination.

"Do you want to come with me?"

The hesitation in his voice made her turn to look at him. She raised a brow at him.

"Couldn't find anyone else to go with you?" She goaded him.

"Not on such short notice, I couldn't. Besides it would be two single dateless friends going to a charity event." He grinned.

"The only reason I'm dateless and single is because of you." Mia reminded him smartly. At this Matthew made a face.

"Consider this my way of apologizing."

"Alright. I'll go. But just one question."

"What?" He asked glanced at her curiously before turning his attention back to the road.

Silent Mia looked for the right words. She wanted to tell him that if they were going this time, she didn't want to hear his excuse for bringing her.

How do I say it? She wondered.

"What are you going to say when they ask you what happened between Nevarra and you?" She asked, not sure how to get her point across.

A look crossed his face. He understood what she had meant.

"No comment."

-----

"Where are you two off to?"

Matthew turned to face Lina as he and Mia were getting ready to leave. Dressed in a suit, Matthew scowled at his cousin's timing.

"Cancer benefit." Mia spoke up before Matthew could explain.

"Aww...I wanted to go." Lina complained. "But I have to finish designing the new campaign ads. It's due tonight. I can't move until I'm done thanks to the slave driver!"

Mia laughed as Leon came down the stairs, hearing the last bit.

"Quit complaining. I'm stuck along with you for as long as it takes to finish the ad." He said, grinning. "Go up to the library and get it done, Lina. Catharine's waiting for me."

"Catharine?" Matthew heard Mia ask. Having only met Lina's boyfriend, Matthew was surprised no one had mentioned his older cousin's fiancé to the girl.

"That's Leon's wife!" Lina told her, as she huffed up the stairs, pouting as she crossed her brother.

"To be! Wife-to be!" Leon corrected, calling after her. "I'm going to get some coffee. Hope you two enjoy your evening."

They watched as Leon made his way to the kitchen.

"Coming Mia?" Matthew asked, turning to the laughing girl.

"Yea."

Struggling to concentrate as he pulled on his jacket while she put on her shoes, Matthew recalled the sight he had seen when he had knocked on her door. Dressed in a knee length black strapless dress which had billowing skirt and a silver metal chain at the waist, a small black jacket covering her shoulders, Mia looked sophisticated and mysterious. Her hair had been brushed in to an up-do, her bangs all pushed to one side, and she had very faintly put on make up. The only tell tale traces were the eyeliner, a light eye shadow, and some lip gloss.

Closing the door behind him, Matthew followed the girl to his car. Their drive was long and quiet, Matthew didn't want to disturb her. Mia looked to be in deep thought about something. It had been some time since the two of them had gone to any charity dinner, or gala. Matthew was just glad she came.

Reaching the venue, he got out of the car, and helped Mia out. It always amused him how even now she couldn't walk very far in heels. She would walk a few steps, and then he would see her tottering as she lost her balance.

"Why do you wear those things if you can't walk in them?" He asked her, curiously, making her laugh.

"I wish I could tell you. I think it's just because they look nice. Besides we sit down for the most part at these things." Mia confessed, as she held on tightly to his arm.

"That is true."

Reaching the entrance someone called them from behind. Both Matthew and Mia turned around to see Oliver making a dash towards them.

"Hey you two!" He said, reaching them.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Matthew questioned him.

"I wasn't going to but Ariana told me to go after making me feel more guilty for missing out on meeting those sick children. So I had to run...I think she just wanted me out so she could catch up on her soap operas. She hates it when I ask what's going on between every scene." Oliver said with a grin.

As they entered, Matthew, Mia, and Oliver were met with bright flashing lights. Questions were shouted at them, but Matthew only had one answer.

"No comment." He told anyone who approached him. He kept his word to Mia.

When she had asked him yesterday, he had found it odd and yet a small flame of hope had lit inside him. Maybe she's doesn't like it when I say that because she has feelings for me? He had thought with a smile. Of course it could have also been because she really hated having to stand any longer in her heels with flashes going off around them as he stood around to answer a few questions. That just doesn't sound like her, he thought, holding out hope for his first guess as they walked down the red carpet to where the dinner was being held.

Entering the banquet hall, Matthew spotted Nathaniel immediately, he was waving at them. The younger player was always earlier than him, so he took it upon himself to find them a good table.

"I thought you were bringing someone?" Matthew asked him, as they sat down at the table.

"Nah, I decided to come alone. We haven't been together like this since last Christmas." Nathaniel pointed out.

With Mia sitting between him and Nathaniel, and Oliver on his other side, it really did feel like their Christmas dinner all over again. A year and a half had passed since they had met Mia, and some how he couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been with them. He watched as Mia and Nathaniel whispered about something. What are they up to? He wondered.

"So, how are things going?" Oliver asked him, he smirked, seeing that Matthew had been watching her again.

Breaking away, he turned to his best friend; Matthew gave him a short glare.

"Things are fine. You?"

"Can't be better. I'm still trying to decide how to unpack all our stuff in the house." Oliver told him.

"I thought you were going to move after the baby was born."

"No...I changed my mind. If I had waited, there would be no chance you guys would help me unpack!" Oliver grinned.

"Why?" Matthew said, not understanding.

"You'd all be fighting over who holds the baby while I'd get stuck with the work. So this weekend, you're helping me with the boxes."

"Urgh...fine." Matthew agreed.

As dinner was being served, Felix and the rest of their team's senior staff passed them by, as they were greeting all the guests.

"Matthew, Nathaniel, Oliver, and Mia. I'm so glad you could all make it. I hope you're enjoying yourselves this evening." He asked them.

Murmuring their assent, Felix turned to Mia.

"Ms. Wheldon reminded me to tell you that you can pick up your boarding pass from her office Mia. She's gotten both flights booked for you. I hope you have a safe trip!" He said, as he left them.

The three boys turned to look at Mia.

"What trip?" Nathaniel asked, beating Matthew to the question.

"I was going to tell you guys. I'm going home for two weeks." She said, turning pink under their stare. "None of you have any international games, so I thought I'd spend some time with my family before the end of the year match."

Thinking as to why Mia would be going home now, it struck Matthew. Her brother's memorial was in the coming week. He remembered their trip to Luxembourg had been around this time.

"So what are you going to do there?" Nathaniel asked. Had Matthew been sitting next to him, he would have kicked the younger player. Even his glare was going unnoticed. She shouldn't have to tell us if she's not ready, he thought angrily. He heard her sigh.

"My parents hold a memorial each year for my twin brother." She told them, staring at her plate. "He died sometime ago...so in his memory my entire family gets together on the eighth of December."

Before Nathaniel could ask anymore questions he saw the look on Matthew's face, while Oliver gave his head a small shake. The younger player nodded.

"Sorry." He muttered to Mia.

"It's alright. I was going to tell you all...I just didn't get around to it." She shrugged, finally looking at them. There was a flash of pain in her eyes, but it vanished quickly.

An awkward silence settled over them, as they started to eat their dinners.

"Since your going and it's probably all snowy and wintry in Canada...does that mean you'll get to eat fresh maple syrup and pancakes?" Oliver asked trying to lighten the mood.

It had an instant effect on Mia. She was taking a sip of her drink when he asked her, almost choking Mia snickered.

"No...fresh maple syrup is usually made in March and April. You can still have pancakes and maple syrup though."

"What else is there to do?" Matthew asked.

"Skating in Nathan Phillip Square, skiing down Mount Chingcousy, or you can go to Snow Valley and ski, snow board, and go tubing."

"Have you ever gone?" Nathaniel asked in between bites of his rice and chicken.

"Snow Valley? No. I got sick when my grade 8 class was going to go. The day before our French class had a cheese tasting and a fire drill. Goat's cheese made me sick as well as standing in the cold without a jacket for fifteen minutes." She told them, as they laughed. "But I did go tubing at this other resort called Horseshoe Valley, in grade 10."

"Er...goat's cheese you can smell the taste." Mathew said, wincing hard. He had tried it once, and it had made his stomach churn, remembering, Matthew bit back the awful taste.

"I know..." Mia said, giving him a disgusted look.

"Speaking of winter, are we all going to go to the winter fair at the Alton Towers, Monday?" Oliver asked them.

-----

It was her last outing with her friends before heading home. The thought made her want to stay back and forget her trip, but she knew she would have to stick it out. No matter what I will be good, she reminded herself.

Dressed in a warm pair of track pants, and a cosy sweat shirt, Mia tied her hair back. She had pulled out a black coat, along with a toque and mittens. Snow had been falling earlier in the day, and when she had come home from the complex there was an extremely chilly wind blowing.

"Mia? Are you ready?" Lina called for her from below.

"Coming!" She called back.

Pulling on the rest of her things, Mia joined Lina, Leon, and Matthew. Each of them had on warm winter jackets, and hats, picking up her shoes, Mia felt more over dressed than the three of them.

They were eyeing her in amusement, as she pulled out a scarf from her pocket.

"What? While you guys freeze, I'll be cozy and warm. Besides, I'm not about to get sick the day before my flight." She smirked.

"You look so cute!" Lina told her, as she snapped a picture on her cell phone.

"Err..." Mia was unable to stop the older girl.

"Matthew, did you get the tickets?" Leon asked, as they all went outside.

"Yea. Oliver gave them this morning. He'll meet us there with Nathaniel." Matthew answered.

Mia and Lina sat at the back of Matthew's car, while Leon and Matthew sat in front.

"So how long will you be gone?" Lina asked her.

"I'll be back by the twentieth."

"Aww...who's going to watch movies with me?"

"Matt and Leon?"

"Pfftt..." Lina blew her bangs off her face, exasperated by Mia's response.

Arriving on the grounds for the fair, they got out of the car. The rides lit up the darkness around them, almost as though the fair grounds were a beacon. Laughter emanated from the fair, drawing them in. As they reached to the entrance, Mia saw Matthew pull out his cell phone.

"Where are you?" He asked, talking to either Nathaniel or Oliver.

Once they handed in their tickets, Matthew led them around to where Oliver and Nathaniel were waiting for them. Both were dressed in jackets, but seemed to have forgotten to wear any hats or gloves. Nathaniel's ears had started to turn pink. Both stood with their hands shoved in to their jacket pockets.

"So where to first?" Oliver asked, his breath condensing as he spoke.

Lina pointed to the giant Ferris Wheel. As the six of them trekked through the snow, Oliver slowed his pace to let Mia catch up to him.

"How's Ariana?" She asked.

"She's good. She was watching some movies she got off Lina." He told her, smiling, "Aren't we a bit overdressed?"

Mia pushed him away, as he snickered. It was rare for him to tease her unless it was work related.

"You'll be begging me for them. Just you wait." She waggled a mitten covered finger at him, as they reached the ride.

Splitting in to pairs, Mia and Lina decided to go on together, while Matthew and Oliver were in the carriage behind them, with Leon and Nathaniel last. Mia tightened her grip on the safety bar, as the ride went higher and higher, where as Lina was busy taking pictures with her camera.

"I promised Ariana I would take lots of photos." The older girl said, when Mia made a face.

"Do you have to take mine?"

"Yea! You look so cute dressed in all your winter gear! You're like a little cotton ball." Mia sighed upon hearing this. Lina put an arm around her and faced the camera towards them, as she took another picture.

As the night wore on, they went to several other rides. Mia held on to Matthew's arm, her eyes closed, as they whirled around in spinning tea cups. She could hear Lina's shrieks of laughter, as Nathaniel and Oliver whooped. Nathaniel could be seen laughing as he watched Mia clamber out of the cup.

"Don't you look green!" He exclaimed as she came up to stand by him.

"I'm not fond of being dizzied."

"Too bad we're going on a circular roller coaster next." Nathaniel told her with a grin, hooking his arm around hers, he led the way to the roller coaster as she groaned.

By the time Matthew parked the car in front of the house, they were tired but happy. Getting out of the car she watched as Leon fell behind Matthew, he motioned for the girls to stay quiet as he picked up some snow in his hands and crept up behind the unsuspecting footballer. She saw Lina pull out her cell phone, her eyes shining with as much mischievousness as her older brother.

Mia watched as Matthew had just turned the key in the door, when Leon slipped the snow down his neck.

"Ah!" He yelped, as the others laughed, Matthew tried getting rid of the snow reaching behind his neck.

"Pazzo! I'm going to get you for that!" He growled at his cousin, Matthew lunged towards him with a fist full of snow. Leon dodged it, but Lina got caught in the face.

"You idiot!" She shrilled, as Matthew ran while she wiped the snow from her face.

Mia laughed as Lina chased Matthew. Soon she found herself in the middle with Lina trying to get Matthew who was smartly using her as a shield.

"You're going to have to go through her to get me." He taunted his cousin.

"What makes you think I won't?" Lina asked, with a snow ball at the ready.

"Hey!" Mia piped up, as Matthew pulled her to the left to block Lina.

"Sorry, Mia!" The older girl said apologetically.

It was then she heard someone else move.

"Too late, sister!" Leon had come from behind them both to throw a ball that landed right on Lina's jacket.

Matthew let Mia go to run behind the car, he and his cousin threw snow at them, as the girls retaliated snow balls of their own.

All that could be heard was shouts and laughter as each side pelted the other with snow.

-----

Walking with Leon and Lina as they accompanied Mia to the airport, Matthew could already feel the ache in his heart. He really didn't want to let Mia go.

They had been having such a good time as of late, that the prospect of her leaving was difficult for him to take. Standing by as Mia checked in her suitcase, Matthew tried to memorize how she looked. She would be gone for two whole weeks, what if she changed? He told himself. Mia looked relaxed in a pair of black pants, her green sweater showed through the open front of her black trench coat. Her hair had been tied up in to a loose bun.

Smiling as she walked back to them, he watched as she slipped the boarding pass in to her pocket, she was still holding on to her duffle bag.

"Thanks for dropping me off." She said, standing in front of them.

"Aww Mia, what am I going to do with you gone?" Lina pulled the emerald eyed doctor in to a hug.

"I don't know…I'm going to miss you too…" She said, as Lina smiled.

"Make sure you enjoy your vacation." Lina said, finally letting go.

Leon was next to bid the girl farewell.

"Don't worry I won't forget to pick you up on the twentieth." His older cousin said, as Mia chuckled.

They heard the announcement for the passengers on Mia's flight to board.

As Leon let her go, Matthew decided to come forward. She looked surprised as he stood in front of her.

"Goodbye then." He said, as she gave him a hug.

"Bye..." He heard her reply.

"Just remember to take care of yourself." He murmured in to her ear, holding her closer for just one more second. "You'll be fine." He said referring to her impending meeting with her mother.

"Thanks." She whispered.

Letting her go, he watched as she walked through the security barricade. Once on the other side, she turned to wave at them before heading off. Goodbye Mia, he thought feeling as though she had taken his heart with her.