If Only Tonight

The Final Fury:
Chapter Seventy: Flames To Dust

It had taken her a little over a day to pack all her things in to boxes. With Oliver and Nathaniel coming and going, they had helped her put all her books and clothes neatly in to boxes, sealing them with tape and labelling them for her. Leon had relented and gotten her Challenger out of the underground garage. Mia couldn't believe how happy she was to see her car in the day light once more, she had been tempted to hug it.

It looked stormy, as Thursday came at long last. Leon helped Mia drag the last of the boxes outside. A little bit surprised that she had so many boxes, Mia waited until the last box was out of the house before she started to load her car. Having called Nathaniel, she knew he would be waiting at the dorms to help her move back into her old room.

A part of her felt sad for leaving. Leon and Lina had become a staple in her life; she could already feel the void of leaving them. But I have to go, she told herself, with resolve. It was the only way to get through this. Putting on her earphones, Mia turned up the music on her mp3 player, steeling herself to say goodbye, as she started to put the boxes that contained her life into her car.

-----

Having managed to arrive a day earlier, he had driven as fast as he could from the airport. Oliver had told him she was getting ready to go, anymore delay and she would be lost to him. The cloudy weather reflected his mood. It looked like at any given moment it would start to rain.

For two days he had thought of what he could possibly say to her, but nothing came to mind. How was he supposed to explain his actions to her? Mia was the best thing that had happened to him, and here he was not knowing what to say to her to make her stay.

Seeing his house, he was surprised that it was clear of photographers. Even at the airport, he had only seen one older man snapping away pictures of him. It had struck him as odd.

Approaching the open wrought iron gates, Matthew stopped his car along side the fence. He saw Leon and Oliver's cars parked in the driveway, along side the Challenger, he scowled. Leon must have gotten it out for her, he surmised.

Walking up the drive way he heard her before he saw her. Bent over the back seat of her car, with her back turned to him, singing along to a song on her mp3 player.

"I try to keep our ship from sinking, it's not so easy by myself, I fight no more...my love is sleeping, I'm rich, but not so much in wealth. And there'll be no champagne that can take away my pain...why do I do this, do this, always be useless useless...and there'll be no champagne that can take away my pain, why do I do this, do this, always be foolish, foolish..."

Mia was busy placing some boxes on the back seat of her car. He looked at the trunk to see it full of more boxes.

As she finally got out of the car, Matthew watched as she turned around to face him, a look of surprise growing on her face. Pulling out the earphones, she shoved her mp3 player in to her pocket.

"I was expecting you to come back tomorrow." She said, analyzing him.

Dressed in black, jeans, with an open shirt, revealing a tank top; she looked exhausted. Her hair had been tied up loosely, a few auburn strands falling on to her face. She chewed on her bottom lip, nervously, as she stood in front of him.

"I came early...to see you..." Matthew told her, hesitantly.

"Umm...congratulations...on getting signed..." She told him, awkwardly.

"Thanks..." He nodded. "So...what are you doing?"

"I'm moving back to the dorms. Now that you're going to Spain, you'll probably be selling the place." Mia stared at her feet.

"Stop talking nonsense..." He said lightly. "I'm not selling up. Leon and Lina are still going to live in London, to continue the business. Apparently, Lina wants to get married here..."

"And she can't bear to part with you..." Matthew added, in an effort to make Mia smile, but it didn't work.

Her face was emotionless, he tried catching her eye but she looked away.

"What's wrong?" Matthew asked cautiously, the tension palpable.

"I know you were with other girls on your adventures abroad." Mia blurted out, turning away from him. "I just don't understand why you would do that to me?"

"Lina!" Matthew growled, thinking that his cousin must have let it slip. How else would Mia know?

"No...it wasn't Lina. Everyone tried to keep me from finding out." She shook her head. "It was a photographer. He showed me the magazines."

Turning to look at him, Matthew saw the anguish in her emerald eyes. Crossing her arms over her chest, Mia wore a pained expression.

"I can't believe that instead of spending my birthday with me...you were signing your contract. You just left me here, without any idea of where you were and if you were okay! And then I find out about those girls not from our friends but from a stranger!" Mia sounded hurt, her voice betraying her feelings. "You told me you would never hurt me, why would you do that?"

For a moment, Matthew didn't say anything. He couldn't bear to look in to her eyes, the intense emotion in them making his heart ache.

"I thought we were over at that point." He admitted, guiltily.

"And we're not over now?" Mia asked him, incredulously.

"I don't know."

"How was it that you got to decide that we were over then, when it is both of us in this relationship?"

Silently, he looked up at her, meeting her gaze this time. He fidgeted with his hands, before they fell limply by his side. A part of him hoped she would scream or shout at him, do something, anything, but he knew she wouldn't. Her quiet fury was too hard for him to handle.

Walking away from him, she closed the doors to her car, pushing down the lid of the trunk. Instead of getting in her car and leaving, she walked up to him. They stood facing each other, her green eyes reading his blue ones.

-----

He stood in front of her, after all these weeks, dressed in a blue t-shirt and black jeans; looking as though he had never left. She wanted them to go back to how it had been before the conference, but she couldn't.

Standing there looking at him, all the emotion she had been keeping under wraps, flooded through her. The pain, the guilt, the feeling of being deceived, she couldn't stop them from washing over her.

The rain starting to fall lightly around them, Mia made up her mind. She took off the brilliant blue gemstone ring he had given her.

"I couldn't ask you to stay here and not go for your dreams, Matthew... because..."

"Because?"

"B-Because...I love you..." Matthew stood before her, looking stunned at her admission. Tears were welling up in her eyes, threatening to stream down her cheeks.

Gently taking his hand, Mia placed the ring in his palm, as the rain started to fall harder.

"I never wanted to do this. I thought we'd get through it, maybe I was selfish...But I love you Matt. I love you enough to let you go."

Closing his fingers over the ring, she kissed him on the cheek, as her tears started to fall mixing with the rain.

"Goodbye, Matthew."

Walking away, her shattered heart made it hard for her to breathe. Sitting inside her car, she wiped away the tears, but they continued to flow down her face. Turning the key in the ignition with a shaking hand, the engine roared to life, as she put the car in gear. Taking one last look in her rear view mirror, she saw him standing there, watching her, looking broken.

It took all her strength to put her foot of the gas pedal and drive away.