Ups and Downs
Chapter 3
Tay.
"Tay, you don't have to go," Cassadee reminded me as we stood waiting for our boyfriends on my front porch.
"I know Cass, but I want to. I need to tell him the news." She sighed and shook her head.
"No drinking. No smoking. Please take care of yourself," she begged.
"I will. Just have fun." Alex pulled up to my house and he and Rian got out of the car.
"Hey sweetie," Rian said before kissing Cass. Her whole face lit up whenever he was around. I knew Alex and I were the 'it' couple of the school, but Rian and Cass had an even better relationship. The look on their faces when they were near each other was one of pure love. Anybody around could see the happiness they shared.
"Are you sure you're up for this Tay?" Alex asked me.
"Of course," I answered and kissed him. Cass gave me a look of concern, but I just rolled my eyes at her. I was capable of taking care of myself. We pulled up to Jack's house just as Sierra and Shane were getting there. Shane was Sierra's on and off boyfriend of almost a year and a half. He went to a different school so they were always together on the weekends. They were cute when they weren't fighting.
"Hey!" Sierra called to us.
"Si!" Cassadee responded and ran over to her. I walked up slowly with Alex's arm around my waist.
"Are you okay Tay?" Sierra asked me. I nodded. I was tired of that question. Alex pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. We went inside and I was surprised at the lack of people. I had expected one of Jack's ragers, but apparently the boys had decided it should be just some friends. This made me relax. I was hoping it also meant that they wouldn't get as smashed as they normally do. I was definitely not in the mood to be taking care of my drunk friends. However, Jack and Zack had gotten wasted. Everyone else seemed to be content with being tipsy.
"Tayyyy!" Alex whined at me. "Why aren't you drinking?"
"I'm not in the mood," I shrugged.
"C'mon Tay! Just one drink," Alex pushed.
"Alex, I can't."
"Whyyyyy?"
"Talk to me when you're sober. I'm lying down," I said harshly. I went upstairs to the guest room and got in bed.
"Tay," Alex said as he woke me up.
"Five more minutes," I mumbled sleepily. He chuckled at me.
"The four of us are going back to my house," he told me as he slipped his arms under my body and carried me to the car.
"Are you sober?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Oh my god, is she okay?" Cass asked in a panic as she saw us.
"Yes, she's just sleepy," Alex answered, confused as to why she was so concerned. Alex carried me to his bed while Cass and Rian went to the guest room. I woke up a couple of hours later to Alex snoring next to me. I gently kissed him to wake him up. He yawned as he opened his eyes. "Good morning."
"Good morning," I smiled at him. He smiled back and curled into my side.
"What was with you last night?" he asked. I let out a deep sigh and he sat up concerned. "Tay, what's going on?"
"Alex, I'm... pregnant," I told him. I watched as he face went through many expressions before settling on being deep in thought.
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. Not abortion. And, and I think I want to keep it." He nodded slowly and thought some more.
"Tay. I can't."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a senior. The band is about to start touring. I need to focus on graduating and my music career. I can't raise a kid. Maybe if this had happened a few years later, but not right now. And if you're gonna keep it, I don't want to be together." My mouth flew open in disbelief as my world fell apart.
"Alex, I didn't choose for this to happen right now. I'm a sophomore in high school this isn't exactly a convenient time for me either. But you have a responsibility to this child too. I didn't do this on my own."
"Then give it up," he told me simply. I shook my head. "Tay, I will fully support you if you choose adoption. I love you. You know that. But I can't take care of a kid right now."
"I don't think I can do that," I said as I started out the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Here, let me give you a ride," Alex said as he started to get up.
"No. I can walk. I don't want to be around you any longer." It took me about 40 minutes to walk home. I was going slowly trying to give myself time to think. I wanted to keep this baby, whether Alex was helping or not. I couldn't willingly give up another family member after my dad died. It would be too painful. I walked into the house with tears rolling down my cheeks and went straight into my mother's arms.
"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked, rubbing my back.
"I need to tell you something." She nodded and sat down across from me at the kitchen table. "Alex broke up with me because.. because I'm pregnant." My mother gasped and I watched as the shock set in. I noticed the shock turn to anger in a few moments.
"Is the baby his?" I nodded. "That no good son of a bitch! He gets my daughter pregnant then leaves her! I'm calling his mother," my mom said.
"Mom! No. I just want to move on and deal with this without him." She sighed and sat across from me again.
"Tay, you don't realize how hard this will be. You're still in school. You have to graduate and get a job and hopefully college all while raising a child. I don't want you to have to face this alone."
"Then stand by me. Because Alex won't and ruining his dreams is only going to make him resent me and his child. I'd rather the baby have no father at all than a father that doesn't want him," I told her. She nodded and hugged me.
"I love you. I'll... I'll help," she promised.
Alex.
"Where's Tay?" Cass asked as she and Rian came downstairs.
"Home," I shrugged. I felt like such an ass. I knew I was right. Adoption would be the best. I didn't doubt Tay's ability to be a mother, but I was thinking of her future. She wanted to get into music too, and I knew that would be hard with a kid. I also knew I would be a horrible father. That kid was better off without me in it's life whether Tay kept it or gave it up.
"Why?" Cass questioned.
"We broke up," I told her.
"What!" she screamed. "Alex, she's pregnant!"
"I know."
"You know! You know you got her pregnant and you break up with her? What kind of heartless asshole are you?! She needs you, that baby needs you! Stop being so selfish for once!" Cassadee yelled at me. I looked down. I knew that no matter what I told myself, I wasn't handling this right. I was prioritizing the wrong things. I wanted Tay to choose adoption. I figured this was the best way for her to decide on that. Cass stormed out of the house quite pissed off.
"Really Alex? You broke up with your pregnant girlfriend?" Rian asked incredulous.
"I can't be a father Rian. It's for the best," I told him. He shook his head at me.
"You just think you can't. You know Tay isn't going to give up that baby after everything she's been through. Step up. You did this to her," he reminded me before leaving. I went upstairs and grabbed my guitar. I needed to write.
Tay.
Monday rolled around and my mom had set up an appointment for me after school. I decided to go by myself so I was in the waiting room at the hospital. I looked at all the married women with their big bellies. I never thought I would be the teen in this situation, but I guess I had it coming to me. Today was a stressful day to say the least. I wasn't as sick as I had been all weekend. There was obvious tension between Alex and me today. Everyone knew that we broke up, but only Cass and Rian really knew why. It took a lot of convincing on my part to prevent Sam from ripping Alex's head off. Lindsey is currently choosing to ignore the situation while Devin doesn't know what to think. He's definitely more on Sam's side, but he doesn't want to hurt me in the process of hurting Alex. He was watching over me like a hawk today and if Alex came into view he would quickly be at my side. It was weird to see him so protective, but I guess something like this brings it out in a brother.
"Taylor Jardine," a nurse called. I followed her back into an examination room. She drew blood and told me she was going to test it to make sure I was pregnant and that she would be back in about 20 minutes. I nodded and found myself falling asleep."Well, you're certainly pregnant," she told me as she came back into the room. I nodded. She began to look for the heartbeat. "Ahh, hear that? That's your baby," she smiled at me. My doctor came in and took over.
"Hello. I am Doctor Smith," he told me.
"Hi," I managed to squeak out at him. He started the ultrasound.
"Based on the ultrasound and your blood work, I would say you're about 6 weeks along," he told me.
"Okay."
"Now, being so young there are some concerns. You could go into premature labor. I need you to stay relaxed and listen to your body. Teenagers seem to think they're invincible, but I promise you're not. Is the father in the picture?" I shook my head. "Okay, well take care of yourself and I'll see you in about 2 weeks," he told me and shook my hand. The nurse handed me the ultrasound pictures then left the room. I put my hand on my stomach as I looked over the pictures. I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. And I couldn't believe I didn't have Alex anymore.
"Tay, you don't have to go," Cassadee reminded me as we stood waiting for our boyfriends on my front porch.
"I know Cass, but I want to. I need to tell him the news." She sighed and shook her head.
"No drinking. No smoking. Please take care of yourself," she begged.
"I will. Just have fun." Alex pulled up to my house and he and Rian got out of the car.
"Hey sweetie," Rian said before kissing Cass. Her whole face lit up whenever he was around. I knew Alex and I were the 'it' couple of the school, but Rian and Cass had an even better relationship. The look on their faces when they were near each other was one of pure love. Anybody around could see the happiness they shared.
"Are you sure you're up for this Tay?" Alex asked me.
"Of course," I answered and kissed him. Cass gave me a look of concern, but I just rolled my eyes at her. I was capable of taking care of myself. We pulled up to Jack's house just as Sierra and Shane were getting there. Shane was Sierra's on and off boyfriend of almost a year and a half. He went to a different school so they were always together on the weekends. They were cute when they weren't fighting.
"Hey!" Sierra called to us.
"Si!" Cassadee responded and ran over to her. I walked up slowly with Alex's arm around my waist.
"Are you okay Tay?" Sierra asked me. I nodded. I was tired of that question. Alex pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. We went inside and I was surprised at the lack of people. I had expected one of Jack's ragers, but apparently the boys had decided it should be just some friends. This made me relax. I was hoping it also meant that they wouldn't get as smashed as they normally do. I was definitely not in the mood to be taking care of my drunk friends. However, Jack and Zack had gotten wasted. Everyone else seemed to be content with being tipsy.
"Tayyyy!" Alex whined at me. "Why aren't you drinking?"
"I'm not in the mood," I shrugged.
"C'mon Tay! Just one drink," Alex pushed.
"Alex, I can't."
"Whyyyyy?"
"Talk to me when you're sober. I'm lying down," I said harshly. I went upstairs to the guest room and got in bed.
"Tay," Alex said as he woke me up.
"Five more minutes," I mumbled sleepily. He chuckled at me.
"The four of us are going back to my house," he told me as he slipped his arms under my body and carried me to the car.
"Are you sober?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Oh my god, is she okay?" Cass asked in a panic as she saw us.
"Yes, she's just sleepy," Alex answered, confused as to why she was so concerned. Alex carried me to his bed while Cass and Rian went to the guest room. I woke up a couple of hours later to Alex snoring next to me. I gently kissed him to wake him up. He yawned as he opened his eyes. "Good morning."
"Good morning," I smiled at him. He smiled back and curled into my side.
"What was with you last night?" he asked. I let out a deep sigh and he sat up concerned. "Tay, what's going on?"
"Alex, I'm... pregnant," I told him. I watched as he face went through many expressions before settling on being deep in thought.
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. Not abortion. And, and I think I want to keep it." He nodded slowly and thought some more.
"Tay. I can't."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a senior. The band is about to start touring. I need to focus on graduating and my music career. I can't raise a kid. Maybe if this had happened a few years later, but not right now. And if you're gonna keep it, I don't want to be together." My mouth flew open in disbelief as my world fell apart.
"Alex, I didn't choose for this to happen right now. I'm a sophomore in high school this isn't exactly a convenient time for me either. But you have a responsibility to this child too. I didn't do this on my own."
"Then give it up," he told me simply. I shook my head. "Tay, I will fully support you if you choose adoption. I love you. You know that. But I can't take care of a kid right now."
"I don't think I can do that," I said as I started out the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Here, let me give you a ride," Alex said as he started to get up.
"No. I can walk. I don't want to be around you any longer." It took me about 40 minutes to walk home. I was going slowly trying to give myself time to think. I wanted to keep this baby, whether Alex was helping or not. I couldn't willingly give up another family member after my dad died. It would be too painful. I walked into the house with tears rolling down my cheeks and went straight into my mother's arms.
"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked, rubbing my back.
"I need to tell you something." She nodded and sat down across from me at the kitchen table. "Alex broke up with me because.. because I'm pregnant." My mother gasped and I watched as the shock set in. I noticed the shock turn to anger in a few moments.
"Is the baby his?" I nodded. "That no good son of a bitch! He gets my daughter pregnant then leaves her! I'm calling his mother," my mom said.
"Mom! No. I just want to move on and deal with this without him." She sighed and sat across from me again.
"Tay, you don't realize how hard this will be. You're still in school. You have to graduate and get a job and hopefully college all while raising a child. I don't want you to have to face this alone."
"Then stand by me. Because Alex won't and ruining his dreams is only going to make him resent me and his child. I'd rather the baby have no father at all than a father that doesn't want him," I told her. She nodded and hugged me.
"I love you. I'll... I'll help," she promised.
Alex.
"Where's Tay?" Cass asked as she and Rian came downstairs.
"Home," I shrugged. I felt like such an ass. I knew I was right. Adoption would be the best. I didn't doubt Tay's ability to be a mother, but I was thinking of her future. She wanted to get into music too, and I knew that would be hard with a kid. I also knew I would be a horrible father. That kid was better off without me in it's life whether Tay kept it or gave it up.
"Why?" Cass questioned.
"We broke up," I told her.
"What!" she screamed. "Alex, she's pregnant!"
"I know."
"You know! You know you got her pregnant and you break up with her? What kind of heartless asshole are you?! She needs you, that baby needs you! Stop being so selfish for once!" Cassadee yelled at me. I looked down. I knew that no matter what I told myself, I wasn't handling this right. I was prioritizing the wrong things. I wanted Tay to choose adoption. I figured this was the best way for her to decide on that. Cass stormed out of the house quite pissed off.
"Really Alex? You broke up with your pregnant girlfriend?" Rian asked incredulous.
"I can't be a father Rian. It's for the best," I told him. He shook his head at me.
"You just think you can't. You know Tay isn't going to give up that baby after everything she's been through. Step up. You did this to her," he reminded me before leaving. I went upstairs and grabbed my guitar. I needed to write.
Tay.
Monday rolled around and my mom had set up an appointment for me after school. I decided to go by myself so I was in the waiting room at the hospital. I looked at all the married women with their big bellies. I never thought I would be the teen in this situation, but I guess I had it coming to me. Today was a stressful day to say the least. I wasn't as sick as I had been all weekend. There was obvious tension between Alex and me today. Everyone knew that we broke up, but only Cass and Rian really knew why. It took a lot of convincing on my part to prevent Sam from ripping Alex's head off. Lindsey is currently choosing to ignore the situation while Devin doesn't know what to think. He's definitely more on Sam's side, but he doesn't want to hurt me in the process of hurting Alex. He was watching over me like a hawk today and if Alex came into view he would quickly be at my side. It was weird to see him so protective, but I guess something like this brings it out in a brother.
"Taylor Jardine," a nurse called. I followed her back into an examination room. She drew blood and told me she was going to test it to make sure I was pregnant and that she would be back in about 20 minutes. I nodded and found myself falling asleep."Well, you're certainly pregnant," she told me as she came back into the room. I nodded. She began to look for the heartbeat. "Ahh, hear that? That's your baby," she smiled at me. My doctor came in and took over.
"Hello. I am Doctor Smith," he told me.
"Hi," I managed to squeak out at him. He started the ultrasound.
"Based on the ultrasound and your blood work, I would say you're about 6 weeks along," he told me.
"Okay."
"Now, being so young there are some concerns. You could go into premature labor. I need you to stay relaxed and listen to your body. Teenagers seem to think they're invincible, but I promise you're not. Is the father in the picture?" I shook my head. "Okay, well take care of yourself and I'll see you in about 2 weeks," he told me and shook my hand. The nurse handed me the ultrasound pictures then left the room. I put my hand on my stomach as I looked over the pictures. I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. And I couldn't believe I didn't have Alex anymore.