Ups and Downs

Tay.

I woke up to my alarm blaring and Brooklynn crying. I groaned and slowly got out of bed. It was the Monday after Brooklynn was born and it would be my first day back at school. I had lost a little bit of baby weight but not very much. I was not expecting a good day.

"Shh, shh, shh," I cooed to Brooklynn as I picked her up out of her crib and sat in the rocking chair to feed her. I was exhausted. Brooklynn woke up at least four times every night and everyone in the house was grouchy due to lack of sleep. Alex had been by a few times to see us. Each time he came over I begged him to stay, but he always left and told me 'just a little bit longer'. Hearing that was starting to get old. I wanted him to be there when I woke up. More importantly, I needed help raising our daughter. It was not easy having a newborn.

"You up?" my mom asked as she poked her head in the door.

"Yeah. Can you watch Brooklynn for a few minutes while I get ready?" I asked her as I finished changing Brooklynn. My mom nodded at me and came over to take her from me.

"Hi, baby girl," she said to Brooklynn. Brooklynn just stared at her with a blank face. I laughed to myself as I grabbed clothes and went to the bathroom. It was nice to have mornings without throwing up. I looked in the mirror after I washed my face. I looked like a hot mess. My hair was frizzy and I had bags under my eyes. Alex had reassured me I still looked beautiful every time he came over.

"Lying bastard," I mumbled to myself as I put concealer under my eyes. Alex had been bringing me my homework so I wasn't behind in my classes. I was grateful for that. Nothing could have prepared me for the responsibility Brooklynn brought, not even age, which is why it didn't seem to matter to me that I had her at sixteen instead of in my twenties. I went back into my room and took Brooklynn from my mother before going downstairs. I grabbed a couple of bottle and threw them into her baby bag before grabbing some poptarts and my absent note. I kissed my mom on the cheek, checked to make sure I had everything and went to my car. I put a suddenly fussing Brooklynn into her car seat and set everything else on the floor in front of her. "What is it baby?" I asked as she fussed. I sighed and distracted her with a toy before getting into my driver's seat. I pulled into the driveway and got Brooklynn and baby bag out of the backseat then I knocked on the door.

"Taylor! How are you dear?" Mrs. Gaskarth asked as she let me into the house. She took Brooklynn from me and went into the kitchen. I set the baby bag on the table.

"I'm exhuasted," I answered. Mr. Gaskarth chuckled at me.

"Newborns are quite a handful. It get's easier," he promised with a smile.

"Alex is getting dressed. He should be down in a few minutes if you want to wait and drive to school with him," Mrs. Gaskarth told me while she made breakfast with Brooklynn balancing on her hip. Brooklynn looked very at ease with her grandparents.

"I actually have to get going. I need to go to the office before going to class. I'll be back to get her after work," I responded and turned to start to the door.

"Oh, that's fine. We'll see you later sweetie," Mrs. Gaskarth smiled at me. I waved at her before I left the house. I arrived at school and was in and out of the office quickly. The administration already knew why I was absent. I assumed everyone did.

"Hey, girly. It's good to finally have you back," Cassadee greeted me as I approached our lockers.

"It's good to be back. The last few days have been stressful," I sighed.

"I'm sure it'll get easier. Are you and Alex a thing yet?" she asked. I shook my head as I closed my locker.

"I don't really want to talk about it. I want a good first day back," I said. She nodded and we walked to home room.

Alex.

I went downstairs for breakfast only to find my mother holding my daughter. I smiled and took Brooklynn from her. I cradled her in my arms and sang to her softly.

"Hi baby girl," I cooed. Staring into her eyes was exactly like looking into her mother's. "Where's Tay?" I asked as I sat at the table to eat, moving Brooklynn to one arm.

"She had to get going. She needed to stop in the office," my mom told me. "I want you home after school okay?"

"Yeah sure. We're gonna write today anyway," I said as I handed her my daughter. "I've gotta get going," I added. I kissed Brooklynn and my mother on the forehead before rushing out the door. I got to class with two minutes to spare.

"Cutting it close, Mr. Gaskarth," my teacher remarked. I just rolled my eyes as I walked to my seat.

"Why are you late?" Jack asked as I sat down.

"Woke up late and got side tracked by Brooklynn," I shrugged.

"When are you and Tay getting back together?" I groaned at his question. I hadn't been able to bring myself to ask Tay out again. I loved her, of course, but I wasn't sure if I could ask her to be with a guy who would constantly be leaving. She deserved better than me anyway. But then there was Brooklynn. She was the physical proof of how mine and Tay's love. Sex with Tay wasn't empty teenage lust, it was so much more. Jack looked at me expectantly.

"Soon probably," I shrugged. He turned forward, satisfied with my answer. I needed Tay in my life. I just hope she needs me too.