Love Yourself So No One Has To
2. *** Valentine's
Valentine's day sucks in every meaning of the word. It's like a giant vacuum trying to suck us all into the capitalist bullshit. Trying to make the fat girls cry. Trying to make the dumpers look at all the unhappy couples and think "thank god." Trying to make all the dumpees look at all the happy couples and think "god damn."
I refuse to join the fat girls in the rest room and cry. I refuse to join the dumpers and praise Allah. I refuse to join the dumpees and curse Jehovah.
Hamlet's Uncle is blasting in my headphones and I am, I am ignoring the hearts and the roses and the candy.
I am, I am not your witness. I'm not, I refuse to be.
Stupid Cupid walks up and tries to hand me like three roses and I tell him to screw off, even though he's a senior and a hot one at that. He asks me if I am Ginger and I tell him that she's not here today. Fucking Farnsworth says that that's me and that I just hate Valentine's day and stupid Cupid nods and says that he can respect that.
I tell him to screw off again.
I don't need Mr. I Have A Tattoo On My Pec Because I Got It Legally to respect me. He calls me feisty and then he puts the roses on my desk and I see that ones from you, so I take the head off and stomp on it. One is from anonymous and you're not romantic enough to do that kind of shit but I don't want anyone else, either, so I give it to Lucy because fat teary chicks deserve roses, too. The last one is also from you (surprise, surprise!) so I rip off its un-bloomed head and I stick the damn thing in my mouth and I chew on it and then I walk out of class and I spit it out in front of your locker and shove the thorny stems into the slits and write PRICK YOURSELF across the red door.
This is my last Valentine to you.
I refuse to join the fat girls in the rest room and cry. I refuse to join the dumpers and praise Allah. I refuse to join the dumpees and curse Jehovah.
Hamlet's Uncle is blasting in my headphones and I am, I am ignoring the hearts and the roses and the candy.
I am, I am not your witness. I'm not, I refuse to be.
Stupid Cupid walks up and tries to hand me like three roses and I tell him to screw off, even though he's a senior and a hot one at that. He asks me if I am Ginger and I tell him that she's not here today. Fucking Farnsworth says that that's me and that I just hate Valentine's day and stupid Cupid nods and says that he can respect that.
I tell him to screw off again.
I don't need Mr. I Have A Tattoo On My Pec Because I Got It Legally to respect me. He calls me feisty and then he puts the roses on my desk and I see that ones from you, so I take the head off and stomp on it. One is from anonymous and you're not romantic enough to do that kind of shit but I don't want anyone else, either, so I give it to Lucy because fat teary chicks deserve roses, too. The last one is also from you (surprise, surprise!) so I rip off its un-bloomed head and I stick the damn thing in my mouth and I chew on it and then I walk out of class and I spit it out in front of your locker and shove the thorny stems into the slits and write PRICK YOURSELF across the red door.
This is my last Valentine to you.
♠ ♠ ♠
February 14