Love Yourself So No One Has To

I keep playing shitty John Mayer songs like oh, poor poor heartbroken me. I loved liked and I broke and I threw away and I ran and now all I can think is that when you're dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.
I woke up gasping from a bad dream and I was sitting up and I looked around like I might find you (wondering was she really here? is she standing in my room? No, she's not.) It takes my breath away. Thinking of you made me fucking cry. Again. So I turned on one of his God damn albums and listened to Your Body is a Wonderland and tried to forget about you.
That was this morning. Now I'm listening to Dreaming and I stand on my bed and I am not singing because I'm shouting. I'm shouting out the words I should have said to you and I am trying not to cry because I feel like it's wrong to cry without you holding my hand our wiping away my rain, humming your, my, our, no ones song. I'm shouting so loud and it's 11:12 and I didn't make a wish because I was shouting like if I was loud enough, you might hear me.
˝DO I HAVE TO FALL ASLEEP WITH ROSES IN MY, ROSES IN MY HAND?"
Would you get them if I did?