Here With You

“You left him…at the restaurant…?”

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. “Yes.” I muttered. I held the phone between my ear and shoulder as I grabbed dishes out of the dishwasher and put them in the cupboards. I was in the middle of a three-way-call with Emily and Sarah, giving them complete details of the previous night.

“And he hasn’t called you or anything?” Emily asked. I could faintly hear her blowing on her nails to dry them.

“No, he doesn’t have my number.”

“But, I mean, he could get it from Zach, right?” Sarah weighed in.

“Yeah.”

“Oh come on Sarah! Would you want to tell your guy friend that you totally got ditched by a girl?”

“He should call to see if she’s okay! She could have gotten kidnaped! He could have asked Zach if she got home.”

“Yes, but then Zach would ask what happened and he would still have to explain how he got ditched by a girl.”

I let out a sigh as I listened to them banter back and forth. “The guys are having band practice in five minutes so if we could hurry this up…” I closed the dishwasher and jumped up on the counter to sit.

“Wait, you’re still going?!” Emily practically shouted, causing me to flinch.

“Of course she’s still going.”

“I shouldn’t go?”

“No!” they both yelled in unison.

“No as in no I shouldn’t go or no I should go?”

“Go! You can’t avoid him forever.” Sarah said, and she was right. I couldn’t. I’d have to see him eventually; we were lab partners. Things couldn’t be awkward forever. I was going to have to face him sooner or later, and sooner was always better. I’d have to make up some excuse as to why I left.

I sighed, “Sarah’s right. I’ll talk to you guys later.” I pressed END and shoved my phone into my back pocket before wandering into the living room. Quinn was sitting on the couch watching Spongebob. “Hey, I’m heading over to Zach’s and mom isn’t back from the store yet so you have to come with, okay?”

He rolled his eyes before shutting off the TV, “but you’re right next door!”

“Not my rules,” I shrugged. I headed out the door and over to Zach’s with Quinn trudging behind me. I peeked my head in the side door of the garage and smiled at Zach, “Is Vic home?”

“Yep.”

“Is he willing to watch Quinn?”

“Yeah, he’s in the house watching TV,” he waved at Quinn who had peeked out behind me before running away and into the Porter’s house.

I shut the door behind me and plopped down on the couch, “has Nathan talked to you?”

Zach shook his head and continued to tune his guitar. “Do you know what you’re going to say to him?”

“Not the truth…” I bit my lip and fiddled with my fingers.

“Why not?”

“I’m not telling him why I’m so messed up. I hardly even know him. Correction, I don't even know him.”

"Well figure it out, he'll be here any minute." Just as Zach finished I heard a car door shut followed by a chorus of voices that were getting closer.

The garage door swung open revealing a smiling Cameron followed by Michael who was in the middle of a story and Nathan at the tail end, shutting the door behind him.

I got up and retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge and grabbed an extra one for Zach; he went through at least ten a day. I returned to my spot on the couch and called out Zach's name, tossing him his bottle of water.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pretended to be busy on it. I felt someones stare on me and I looked up, meeting Nathan's eyes. Well shit. I quickly looked away and returned to messing on my phone. I was waiting for him to come over and say something to me, but it never happened. Zach was anxious to get practice started after finishing the chorus of a song earlier this week. I sat and listened as they ran through it a few times, fixing the small kinks and trying to work on the rest of the lyrics.

Michael began adding in drums, trying out different beats until they could find one they all agreed on. It wasn't going so well.

"Instead of dun, dun, dun. slowly, how about dun, dun, pause, dun, dun. But play the duns fast and close together," Cameron suggested.

"No, these lyrics sound like a ballad, and that beat sounds like hip-de-do-da-day, poppy sound."

I couldn't stand listening to people argue, but listening to the guys debate about songs was entertaining and interesting. They flowed off of each others ideas, bouncing from a negative to a positive, a loss to a gain. Thirty minutes later they were all feeling like they accomplished enough for the day and moved on to practicing the songs they had already written.

While they were hard at work I was in my own little word trying to figure out what I was going to say to Nathan. "I have this thing called anxiety and I left because of it." Yeah, definitely not saying that. "I got sick." was another possibility. "My brother called because my dad dropped him off early and he was home alone." Either way Nathan would ask why I just didn't go back to him and get a ride.

I used to be so terrible with lying, I couldn't spit one out to save my life, and one of the rare times I actually could, I made it so obvious I was lying, not on purpose. It's funny really, how one thing can change you so drastically.

Before my anxiety I couldn't lie, but now I was a master. I had become so good at making up excuses as to why I couldn't hang out with Emily and Sarah, or go out to dinner with my family, or make a quick CD run to FYE with Zach. I spent so much more time in my room, reading, watching TV, drawing, and playing board games or video games with Quinn. And now I was running off on boys.

I left my thoughts and returned to reality, the boys had finished practice. Michael was throwing a white sheet over his blue drum set to keep dust off, Cameron was buckling the case for his bass, Zach was shutting off amps and straightening cords, and Nathan was restringing his guitar.

"I'm outta here, family dinner tonight. Hip-hip-horray!" Cameron said, but not in a sarcastic way, he was totally ecstatic about the dinner. There was a chorus of "goodbyes" as he walked towards the door.

I looked up and smiled, "See ya, Cam."

"Later, beautiful," he said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and tossed a throw pillow at him, earning a laugh in return. "Hurry up, Michael!" he yelled over his shoulder before disappearing out the door, not bothering to close it.

From across the room Michael rolled his eyes, "Why do I always get rides from him. Later homiesssss." He stopped by me and mocked Cameron, "Later, beautiful."

I laughed along with him, "Not you too!"

"Always, baby."

I rolled my eyes, "Bye, Michael."

Zach stood up from where he was sitting, "I'll be right back, I've gotta go get…this thing…yeah."

I opened my mouth and looked into Zach's blue eyes, begging him not to leave. He smiled a cheeky grin and winked before mouthing "talk to him." I cringed.

I followed Zach out the door with my eyes until he disappeared. I reluctantly turned towards Nathan, unexpectedly meeting his eyes. "Hi." I said quieter than I wanted to.

"Hey." he said cooly. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He closed it and stood up, putting his guitar into its case. He turned back around to face me, a confused expression on his face. "Why'd you leave?" And there it was.

"I," I started but paused, my words were caught in my throat. "My brother called. My dad dropped him off at home earlier than expected and he was home alone. It's just, he's not supposed to be home alone."

Nathan nodded, "oh. I understand."

"I wanted to come back and say where I was going but I really had to get home before my mom did. I was going to call or text you but I don't have your number. I'm sorry." I felt bad lying to him, I really did. Though I truly was sorry. I was sorry for leaving him at the restaurant and I was sorry for lying to him.

He grabbed Zach's notepad off of his chair and wrote something down. he tore the lower corner off and walked over to me, handing me the small slip of paper. "Now you have it." I took it from him, offering a smile. "Raincheck?"

I nodded, "yeah."

He grabbed his guitar case and waved before disappearing out the door.