Sorry

"What the fuck do you think your doing?"

I tensed as soon as I heard the angry voice coming from the open doorway. Fuck, he wasn't supposed to be here.

I dropped the shirt that was in my hands into my awaiting suitcase and stood up from my spot on the floor. I knew I should have waited a little while longer to pack up my things. This was no doubt going to get nasty now. I wanted to avoid all of this, but taking one look at Brian standing there with his arms crossed and Jaw tensed I knew it was going to be yet another fight that I wanted no part of, especially after the shit I had found out today.

"Isn't it obvious" I snapped at him, "I'm grabbing my shit and then I'm fucking out of here"

The hurt I felt at the sight of him made my insides feel raw,but the anger was what lashed out.

"And just where the fuck are you planning on going?" He demanded in a harsh tone. His voice sounded raspy, no doubt caused by his late night of smoking and drinking and god only knows what else.

I was so sick of everything, the lifestyle, the late nights, the constant wondering if he was actually with who said he was with. It was all bullshit, I didn't trust him, and after what I had just been told by my best friend, I had every reason not too. It was my own fault for thinking he was different. I was kidding myself, he was a Rockstar for fuck sakes. I wasn't cut out for this anymore.

"Anywhere but here will be just fine" I said with attitude.

I ignored the kicked puppy look that crossed his face so fast that I wasn't even sure if it had actually happened in the first place and turned my back on him. I went back to emptying my side of our dresser for the last time,except this time it wasn't to go out on tour with him. No, this time I was leaving on a one way ticket strait out of his fucking life.

"Are you at least going to fucking tell me why your leaving? This is so fucked!"

I felt the tears well in my eyes and I tried to blink them back, I didn't want that asshole to see me cry.

He wanted to know why I was leaving? Seriously! he obviously thought I was fucking clueless. I was almost insulted....almost.

"I'm not even going to indulge you with an answer to that stupid fucking question, you know why Brian." I said lowly with my back still to him. I had one more drawer to go and I was out of here, anything else left behind I didn't care about, I just needed to get away from him before he could hurt me any more.

"Actually I don't fucking know Sam, so maybe you could enlighten me!" he yelled. I bit my lip, feeling the anger swell in me again. I heard him leave his post at the doorway and stomp into the room. It took him all of 2 seconds to reach me and spin me around to face him. I met his eyes right away, seeing confusion, anger and hurt there and it only made me more pissed off, he didn't get to feel like that. I was the one who was hurt.

"You want to know why Im out of here Baby?" I said lowly with so much hate I startled even myself," I'm leaving you because you are such a fucking dog. I know everything you asshole, absolutely fucking everything! " I shrieked,seeing red all of a sudden.

Before I could even rethink my actions I had launched myself at him. I caught him completely off guard and took him down easily. We fell back on the bed, me landing on top of him with force, knocking the air out of him and watching his eyes go wide as red started to creep up into his cheeks.

"Stop! Fuck" he cursed trying to grab my hands that were hitting him repeatedly, I had no control over myself, I could hear my haywire breathing, feel my hands connecting with his body and knew I was in full blown hysterics.

Brian grabbed at my arms,finally managing to secure them at my sides before I could do any real damage to his large frame. He quickly rolled us and pinned me to the bed with his heavy body. I squirmed against him, trying to get him off, but it was no use, he was too strong.

"Let me go you asshole!" I shouted right in his face, struggling again to no avail. Brian just stared down at me with a bewildered look on his face, breathing heavily, he had never seen me like this before. I was always the level headed one in the group, I didn't go all crazy like this, until now, he fucking pushed me there.

"Why? So you can fucking hit me again?" His hands gripped my arms a little tighter and our chest pressed together. We were both breathing fast from the struggle. I could feel all of Brian pressed against the length of me and it only served to piss me off even more. I didn't want him touching me.

"You deserve it you cheating fuck!"

"A cheating fuck!?, what the hell are you talking about?" Brian asked, his voice going a little higher in pitch. He didn't sound very convincing and the fact that he didn't outright deny it didn't go unnoticed either.

I could feel his eyes searching my face, but I had already looked away. I refused to lay here pinned beneath him and watch him lie right to my face. It hurt enough just to hear it, I didn't need to see it too.

"You are such an Asshole, you can't even tell me the truth?" I whispered, fighting fucking tears again and wishing the jerk laying on top of me would just let me go.

"Sam look at me" Brian said lowly, his voice sounded even raspier then a second ago. I still refused, I just stared towards the doorway, wishing that I was walking through it, away from the man that was currently ripping my heart out.

"Get off of me Brian"

"No, fucking look at me, I'm not letting you go until you do"

I grit my teeth, feeling a tear slip from the corner of my eye and roll down into my hair. My chest felt like it was burning, but most of all my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. When Mel told me she had seen Brian out with some little blond hanging off of him, drunk again, I didn't think I could hurt anymore than what I did in that moment. I know knew I was wrong, him not even owning up to it hurt even worse.

I wished I could turn of my emotions so assholes like the one on top of me could never hurt me again, but I knew I couldn't, instead I felt like my world was ending because I cared more about our relationship than he did apparently.

"Fine, you win" I said looking him right in the eye. I didn't care anymore, he could watch me cry, he was the one that caused it anyway and I knew that tears made him uncomfortable.

The air around us grew tense as we just stared back at each other. How did it all come to this? I loved him so much.

"How could you do this to me?" I choked out when I finally couldn't take the charged silence any more. Brian's brow furrowed like he wanted to say something, but he still remained silent.

"Seriously Brian, I fucking loved you and you still couldn't keep your dick in your pants" I said hotly, my eyes blurring in the process as more tears spilled free.

"You don't know what your talking about" he finally said, shifting on top of me, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Yes, there it was ladies and gentleman, guilt, I saw it in his eyes plain as day.

"Don't lie to me, I deserve better than that" I whispered, looking back at the dark haired man that was so heartbreakingly beautiful. He couldn't even look me in the eye now.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Let me go now." I gritted out. He didn't even care enough to tell me the truth. He didn't even have the balls to own up to anything, it made me sick. I didn't know him any more. The person who I had shared the better part of 2 years with was now a stranger to me.

Brian didn't say anything else. He looked defeated as he let me go. I didn't know what was worse, The fact that he had indeed cheated or the fact that he wasn't even really fighting to keep me here. He hadn't once asked me to stay.

I quickly got off of the bed as soon as he rolled off of me and laid their motionless. Tears were rapidly running from my eyes now as the silence threatened to smother me again.

This was it. This was how it all ended. I was pretty sure I was in shock.

I quickly grabbed my suitcase, forgoing the last drawer of clothing, it didn't matter anymore anyway, he had bought me everything in it.

He can give it to his next girlfriend I thought bitterly.

I was two steps from the doorway when Brian finally sat up abruptly on the bed, finally realizing that I was actually leaving him.

"Don't leave Sam, Please! We can work this out" he said in a rush, looking panicked. He stood up quickly and came towards me, stopping in the middle of the room though when he saw me take a few steps back from him.

I shook my head sadly , his tattooed form nothing more than a blur through my tears now.

He finally asked me to stay, I thought sadly taking another step towards the door.

"It's too late now" I said, my voice strained.

I couldn't do any of this anymore. From the look on his face I was pretty sure he knew it was true.

"Im Sorry" he choked out, standing there looking like a little boy lost. I wiped the tears from my eyes, looking at this gorgeous, messed up man one last time standing alone in the middle of his large room and gave him another sad smile.

"Not as sorry as me".

End