Miles Away I Can Still Feel You.

I woke up at 3:15 in the morning. I yelled. I hate this. It is all because of insomnia, Gielle being a whore, and that goddamned feeling in my gut.

I am over Gielle but now I am really lonely. I am thinking of getting a pet. A kitten to be exact. Sense I am not going back to sleep, I decided to read twitter, then play some bass, take a shower, and get ready for the day.

I wore denim skinnies, and a Aspire and Create shirt, a red and black button down to cover my arms, because of well.... recent sufferings...., and my toms. I fixed my hair to perfection, and for some reason I had a weird feeling in my gut that today was going to be a grand day. I shrugged it off then looked at the clock on my phone, it was 7:45. I should probably get going.

I got into my jeep and turned on the radio. "Im Not Okay. (I promise)" by My Chem was playing so I decided to start the day off right by rolling down my windows, turning up the radio more and Scream and sing along with the song.

'But you really need to listen to me' I sang out the window causing looks by women running.
'BECAUSE IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!'
'I MEAN THIS, IM OKAY!'
(TRUST ME!)"

Because i had started screaming, everyone I drove past looked started and rolled up their windows. It was fucking hilarious. I got to a red light and decided to have some fun I let open my sun roof, turned the volume a little lower but screamed as loud as I could to the end of the song.

"IM NOT OKAY, IM NOT OKAY, WELL, IM NOT OKAY, IM NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!! I AM NOT OKAY! I AM NOT OKAY! OKAY!"

That outburst caused stares and looks from everyone, but, hey, forget about the dirty looks, right?

{see what i did there? hhehehe MCR fans will get it}

I pulled into the parking lot of the cat shelter. I walked it and surprisingly it was pretty packed for 8:10 on a Thursday.

I walked over to the pen where the little kittens were, and they were SO ADORABLE! I grinned at all of them. Two caught my eye though, a ginger haired one, and a brown haired one. It almost had the same color hair as me! I sat on the floor by the pen and looked at how playful they were.

I was still having a hard decision when I heard someone ask me something that i couldn't quite make out. So, I looked up and saw a ginger haired boy with a grey beanie on his head. I smiled at him. He was adorable.

"Do you need help with anything?" he asked while sitting down next to me. Oh yeah totally I need help picking up kitties.

"yeah, actually. I cant decide which kitten to get they are all so adorable!" I giggled, as well did he.

"oh, I am Austin Carlile, by the way." I said putting my hand out for him to shake.

"I am Alan Ashby" he said smiling shyly while taking my hand in his. Is it cheesy to say I didn't want to let go?

"um, anyways, yeah they are really hard to choose from, one afternoon last year I came here to get a kitten because I, well uh, because I really really like cats, and I left with three because I couldn't choose." He smiled, at me.

"wow I don't think I could handle three little rambunctious kittens!" he giggled at my comment.

"so which ones were you looking at?" he asked politely changing the subject.

"um, I was thinking the Little Ginger haired one here, he is cute, and I was thinking about this dark brown haired one, because he is really cute too.."

I realized Alan was staring at me and not even glancing at the kittens when i looked up, "yeah, the dark drown haired one IS really cute." I don't know what Alan was getting at. Does he have some sort of lust towards kittens? OHMYGOD is that why he took home three?! -No Austin you are being ridiculous he was talking about you!- my conscience said too me. Oh I get it now, I hurried a reply, after I realized myself I was staring back "yeah, so IS the ginger haired one." I said with a wink. Hopefully my conscience was right and I wasn't. I really hope he doesn't have any sexual thoughts towards cats.

Alan blushed, "well, why don't you just get both of them so they will not ever be lonely?"

"that's a great idea Alan, i will." I smiled at him. Alan and myself grabbed both of the kittens, I had the Ginger one in hand, and Alan had the Dark Brown haired one in hand. He brought us back to the "check up" room so he could check and make sure the kittens were all healthy and that good stuff.

"so uh, Alan?"

"yeah?" he said while looking up at me.

"well, uh.. erm I-I was wondering if I could get your number?" i asked while scratching the back of my neck, Alan gave me an odd look, one of which I could not make out. Whether it was of joy or creeped-outness. then i blurted out something I wish I wouldnt have. ".......Solikeyouknowif something happens to one of the kittens, I could call you?" The smile on Alan's face disappeared when Austin said that. "yes."

THIRD PERSON POV-

The Ginger male grabbed a sticky note from the side table. He wrote down his number, and also something else that came from the confidence he did not ever know he had. The Brown haired boy didn't read the sticky note, he just put it in his pocket and decided that later would be a better time to read it. The Brown haired male then asked the male something that he did not realize was coming out of his mouth until the very moment it did. And in fact, he didn't regret asking the question, "hey, Alan, do you think you could come back to my place with me and help me settle these two in? And maybe I'll make you some coffee if you are good," he added a wink.

Austin always had much confidence when getting to know people he had crushes on. But, lately he didn't even have confidence, happiness, or even the right strength, to do things for himself, let alone talk to his friends anymore. He was falling into his own, Great Depression, of sorts. So, why was he and Alan hitting it off? Why had Austin gotten back his own confidence, and felt more alive just when he first set eyes on Alan? Why had his gut erupted with butterflies, and other notorious feelings when Alan had called him cute?

"Sure, i'll come, I got off work like ten minutes ago anyways.." the Ginger boy had finally replied. He waited because he realized the other male was deep in thought, and would not hear him if he had said anything then.

Alan had no clue why he said yes to Austin, well yeah he did know, it was because he was cute, and handsome, and charming, has tattoos, and loves kitties. All of Alan's favorite qualities. Alan usually hates human contact, not because he hates people, you see its because people don't really like him. He gives off awkward first impressions, he dropped out of school, he has tattoos, he loves cats like a lot, he went through tough depression and people made up more rumors about him which soon enough came true.

They took the kittens out to Austins jeep after he finished their paperwork. Austin turned on the radio, and just his luck Death Cab For Cutie was playing, one of his favorite bands.

Austin's POV-

Yes. Death Cab For Cutie is playing, this is one of my favorite bands. I hope Alan likes them. The song Someday You Will Be Loved was playing. This song always makes me cry. I need to hold it together. I guess Alan saw a couple of tears drip down my face and he placed a hand on my shoulder.

We got into my house Alan having both kittens in his hands. I closed the door then I punched it. Alan looked shocked, I just broke down. I fell to the floor head on my knees. I can't hold back the tears. I hear footsteps coming towards me. Alan put his arm around my back.

"I know I have only known you for an hour, but I already care about you, and I wanna become really great friends with you.... So you can tell me anything.. I don't have anyone to tell it to.. I already don't like seeing you broken, please tell me what is wrong?" he sounded, so.. so sweet and sincere.

"I'm depressed." I blankly noted, I took off my button down and showed Alan my right arm. He nodded at me and pulled up the left sleeve of his hoodie, "Its okay, there isn't anything wrong with you... We match." he gave me a small sad smile, I gave him a really long hug that he accepted.

I can open up to him, he understands it.

"I, just feel so alone, and worthless. My fiance` was screwing some other guy and I saw it. Then she left me.. I just, I'm not good enough. You know? I never will be. The only thing I am good at is, is, playing bass and screaming. That is it. Fucking hell. I'm such a sad excuse for a human being.............. Sometimes, Alan, I wake up in the middle of the night, just wondering, who or where in the world my soul mate is. I know I sound like a total girl when I say that, but it is the truth. I do not care if it is a boy or girl, I just desperately need that someone to fill in my heart."

Third person POV-

Alan looked at Austin, then he was staring. He grabbed his hands in his own and they both felt that shock again, Alan then spoke up. "Austin Carlile, you aren't a sad excuse for a human being. I just met you and you seem like someone who could be my best friend, who I am hoping will be actually... Anyways, I think about those same things too. You will find your soul mate. And, you will know when you have found that person. I believe your soul mate is someone who you just come across at a random place, and hit it off, someone that you can make blush, or they can make you blush. Someone who you can speak to without feeling ashamed."

Neither Austin or Alan, realized or had really taken to thought what Alan had said.

"Alan? Would you mind maybe sleeping over tonight? I don't want to be alone..." The Dark haired boy asked truthfully.

"Of course I'll stay, want me to sleep on the couch?"

"No, actually we can share my bed if that is okay...?" Austin really wanted to cuddle into Alan, for when he did, he felt safe, and wanted.

"yes, of course that is fine. As long as the kitties can sleep there too?" he pouted a little which made Austin giggle, which made Alan blush.

"yes they can!" Austin exclaimed, which put a grin on Alan's pale face.

"yayy!" the Ginger boy shouted.

They lied down in bed next to each other, both of which holding a small already very sleepy kitten.

The dark haired boy spoke up and said, "hey Alan, could you help me name them?" directing 'them' towards the kittens in hand.

"sure thing, Austinaa" Alan said which got him a glare but then a laugh from Austin and a sly comment back "thanks Ginger Princess" he winked which got Alan to blush, clearly noticeable because of his deathly pale skin.

"lets name the ginger one Austlan?" Alan asked, not realizing that 'austlan' was both of their names put together. "yeah that is a really cute name! How'd you come up with it?" Austin asked remarkably amazed that he came up with such an adorable name that fast. "Really, honestly, It just popped into my head like magic" Alan replied 100% truthfully. "wow, thats a great name, and for the brown one lets name it Prince Phillip?" Austin said, he loves disney movies of course he would say Prince Phillip.
"Prince Phillip like after Sleeping beauty?" "yep"

"goodnight Ginger Princess" Austin said cuddling next to him.

"Good night Austin" Alan then kissed his forehead