I Found You

"I knew it, I always knew it," Tom fussed as he sauntered into the living room from his station in the doorframe and made himself comfortable on the laz-E-boy couch next to a half-asleep Jay. Nath scratched his head in confusion.

"Knew what, mate?"

"That she was jus' a li'l scut. It was just a look I cou' see in her eye," Tom reasoned, a frown etched on his face. The rest of the guys' eyes widened and they payed pointed stares at Siva. They were use to Tom's out-spoken attitude, but tonight was not the night. Their friend was still grieving, but Tom had finally got fed up walking on egg shells.

"Harsh much, Tom?" Max hissed, lowly, his bright blue eyes trained on Siva. Sulking in the corner of the room and gazing out the window at the torrent of rain flooding the streets, Siva barely acknowledged Max with an eyebrow twitch.

"It's nah like he was wrong for rea'in 'er the riot act," Jay said, sitting up and stretching his arms in the air as he expelled a heavy yawn. "Tha' girl is toxic, she just completely disregarded Seev's feelings." Usually the funny man of the crew, Siva's recent breakup had even taken a toll on Jay with all the mood swings Siva had started to take on. One moment he seemed like he was okay about what transpired in the park three weeks back and could almost attempt a smile, others he grew incredibly depressed and morbid, preferring to hide out in his room for hours -or on one occasion, days- at a time. It had gotten so bad that an interview had to be cancelled. Thank God that he had a lot of understanding friends like them. But their patience was beginning to grow just a little thin, especially since they were getting ready to tour again.

"Is'n Dahlia the one that told Seev that Nareesha was cheatin' wit' that ol' bloke down at the pub in the first place?" Nath asked in wondernment. Ah. That seemed to be the trick to crack Siva's marble stare of blankness, in a blink of an eye his face twisted into a mask of pain. The rest of the guys scowled at the youngest member of the band. After a moment, Max broke the awkward silence.

"Exactly, if it was'n for her, Seev may not have ev'r known."

"True," the other three mumbled in agreement, their eyes falling to the floor as they went into deep thought.

Siva squeezed his eyes shut tight, trying to fight the memory of the day he approached his ex-fiancé in the park about her adultery. If he hadn't seen her snogging the bartend with his own eyes the night before, he'd never believe it. It's not that he thought Nareesha wasn't capable of moving on if they ever broke up, he just thought she was better than cheating on him. They had been together for so long that he felt if there were any problems within their relationship, Nareesha would be woman enough to lay them on the line. Siva bowed his head in shame. How could he be such a hypocrite? He had felt the tension and angst building between them for months, but just decided to ignore it with a false feeling of hope that they'd recover and everything would be dandilions and roses again. He should have known they were entering the deep end the moment Nareesha actually wore a polka-dot cocktail dress to dinner!

Polka-dots! Nareesha knew Siva enough to know that he detests polka-dots with everything in him. He just shook the action off as some sick joke but maybe it was her way of telling him that she just didn't care anymore. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that neither of them had acted like they cared for a very long time. The couple may have been able to put up a facade when out in public, but behind closed doors they were as distant as Mercury and Neptune. Siva engrossed himself with band stuff and Nareesha with her shoe designs. They hardly had any time for each other -or so they said- and when they were able to get together, the time they shared with each other was bathed in uncomfortable silence, meaningless chats, counterfeit smiles, and hollow laughter.

Siva was successful in blanking away the images of that day for a short moment, but he wasn't fortunate enough to be rid of the actual words that were exchanged. He could hear the scene in his head, echoing around his brain as the memory came back to taunt him.

"Did you and him really shag, Reeshie?" he had questioned her in a quiet tone. Suprisingly, there was no accusation there in his voice, just a tinge of hurt and curiosity.

"What are you gettin' on about now, Siva?" Nareesha asked, feigning to be clueless with an edge of irritation slithering over her words like he was bothering her. The game she was playing was a lethal one. She was trying to make him feel guilty by believing that he was the one in the wrong.

"You and that, and that..." his words faltered a second until he noticed the ice cold look that was in her beautiful eyes. How long had that been there? That couldn't just transform over night, it had to have grown and festered. As he peered deep into her dark orbs, he found his reflection and the dead look that was trapped inside of his own gaze haunted him. He shook his head when it felt like a syringe full of lead was injected into his heart. "You and that bartender guy, you had sex with him, yeah?" Nareesha let lose a barking kind of laugh and flipped her silky straight hair over her shoulder in a way that exuded sexuality. She didn't realize it, but that move was almost boasting.

"Wha'? Where wou' you get such an idea as that?" He couldn't believe that she actually had the audacity to deny it and stare him in the eyes with absolute seriousness. Who the hell was this scut and what did she do with the girl he had fallen so madly in love with? Siva swallowed hard to choke down the obscenities that wanted to spill from his full lips. No matter how she treated him, he wouldn't allow himself to stoop to her level.

"I ca'n believe it. I honestly do'n understand how you can stand here and lie straigh' to my face!" Siva seethed, his strong jaw clenching tightly.

"Don' yell at me, Siva! I really don' know what you're talkin' about!" Siva's eyes burned with disgust and he drew a ragged breath, his shoulders tensing up.

"She was right about you. Ever'thing Dahlia said about you was the truth," he spat. He felt so bad. The way he had yelled at Dahlia and the horrible things he said to her would play constantly in his mind for a long while.

He had been introduced to Dahlia through his twin, Kumar, after a night in a New York club watching her play her acoustic guitar and belt out some strong alto notes to an indie song. Turns out that they had more in common then he thought when she got on the same flight back home. She claimed to go to school there but he learned 6 months into their friendship that she was really running away from a troubled past. All in one year, she was able to pick up that there was something very odd about Nareesha. She didn't voice her concern until months later after an encounter when Nareesha had "accidentally" spilled her mug of beer on Dahlia's new white sweater after Siva complimented her on it. He initially shrugged her quiet complaints off as petty jealousy. Siva wasn't as oblivious as many thought. He was very aware of his looks and how attractive he was to women: Dahlia included.

The way the exotic, statuesque beauty's entire being would radiate enthusiasm when his eccentric voice ring out, or how her cheeks became rosy when Jay would playfully say something perverted about the two of them, flattered him immensely. Her slanted eyes are what told him everything he needed to know, though. They'd glaze over with a sinful look of sensuality and delight when they met his while he was performing, like she was raptured in a world of the lyrics that glided past Siva's lips. The chemistry between them was always there, lurking, but Siva would never do anything to hurt his relationship with Nareesha. It was a week prior to the fateful day he'd see Nareesha's unfaithfulness himself, that Dahlia had alerted him to his fiancé's misgivings. She told him that when she had visited the pub to meet up with a friend, she saw Nareesha shacked up in a corner with a guy she recognized as an off-duty bartend. Siva went ballistic and called her all types of liars, placing their friendship on halt.

Nareesha's eyes went wild revulsion and she stood up straighter, poking Siva in the chest.

"What else did that pissy-arsed merkin tell you, huh?" she wondered, sarcastically, before placing a hand on her hip. "Why am I not surprised that that li'l girl would try an' divide us? Ya' know she want's you all to 'erself? Does'n it make sense why'd she lie, yeah?"

"Bullocks!" Siva shouted to the sky, frightening the birds in nearby trees enough for them to fly off. Siva plucked his mobile from his pocket and roughly touched the screen to bring it to life. After a quick search, he flipped his phone around and nearly shoved the device into Nareesha's face, but was able to control his anger before he was charged on assault.

"Stop lyin' to me, Reeshie," he whispered, quietly.

"I'm not ly-" Nareesha's face became bleached of all color underneath her foundation as she stared at the picture of her and the blonde-haired bartender smooching near the cobblestone pub that she had started to frequent. Her arms were entertwined around his neck and his around her waist. It definitely came off as more than an innocent peck. She began to visibly shake, her eyes drifting between the photo and Siva's enraged glare.

"What do you wan' me to say, Seev?" she murmured after a while, fishing a fag out of a pack in her purse and lighting it quickly before bringing it to her lips to take a strong pull on it. He could barely detect a small drop of remorse from her.

"There's nothing you can say," he muttered, brokenly. He turned his back on her and left four years of love in the dust.

Siva was knocked back to the present by something hard crashing into his arm. His eyes fluttered rapidly and he looked down to see a clay figurine by his feet. He brusquely kicked it away from him.

"Sod off," he chimed, weakly.

"Now look 'ere, mate," Tom started, leaning forward in his seat with his dark eyes trained on his friend. "We'r 'ere for you, but you gotta stop bein' a baghead, eh? Your somber attitude is really star'in' ta' tweak our nerves," he told Siva in a half joking manner. Max stood up and smacked Tom on the back of his head before approaching Siva.

"Look, man, we love you but you're startin' ta' scare us," he admitted. The light from the chandelier above them made his freshly bald head glisten.

"You gotta at least talk to us, Seev," Nathan agreed, his young face tilted up towards Siva with an expression of worry. One skinny-jean clad leg crossed over the other, his wide eyes held the most emotion in them out of the others.

"Does it make it be'er for you to know that if she were a bloke, I'd beat seven shades of shit out of 'er?" Jay wondered. Siva's chuckle startled the group. Jay's joke was funny but they didn't expect a reaction since he had been trying to make Siva laugh for days with nothing to show for it. The wounded popstar sighed to himself.

"I guess I already knew that we were kiboshed before I was even clued up. Stuff had been kinda shaky for the last few months between us, I just payed it no mind," he confessed. The casual way in which he spoke made it seem as though he were unaffected, but if the last few weeks had taught the guys anything, it taught them that Siva wasn't handling it as easy as he wanted them to think. "Nareesha was'n the same, and I can' say I was too much be'er den 'er. We began to grow apart, stopped talkin' and sharin' stuff like we use ta' do. I suspected she had got 'erself in a bad way one night when she came home ripped to the tits, smelling like an entire barrel of spirits had sloshed her and she wouldn't tell me anything. I looked at it as one roadblock that could be fixed. Now look where I am," he frowned, gesturing to himself. "I held onto what we once were, canceling out what we had become. I can't talk about this anymore." Jay shook his shoulder lightly as he passed him, mumbling something about "syphoning the python."

"Then you don't have ta," Tom let him know. He rubbed the stubble on his face, rising to his feet.

"We got your back, mate," Max grinned, earning a small one from Siva. It disappeared a few beats later.

"Dahlia," his voice cracked. "She was right about Nareesha, and I acted like a headcase with the way I blasted her. She did'n deserve that."

"If it's eatin' you up like that, then stop bein' such a prat about it and just go apol'gize." Max eventually talked him into doing just that and that's how he found himself scaling a rose trellis to Dahlia's 3rd floor terrace, pricking his hands multiple times on tiny thorns that dug into his skin. He winced and grimaced but accepted the pain if he could gain Dahlia's forgiveness. He knew her bedroom was closer to the terrace while her flatmate's was by the door. He knocked quietly on the frame of one of the double doors, trying to avoid waking a neighbor.



She was cognizant of the fact that he would show up eventually, seeking her pardon, but Dahlia had no idea that he'd come at 1:00am and be on her terrace no less.

Dahlia was jolted out of her sleep by a soft rapping just outside of her room. With a heartbeat that was increasing by the second, she pulled herself from under the splendid cushiness of her quilt and bent down to curl her fingers around the steel baseball bat that she kept hidden under her bed. Making as little noise as possible, she unlocked her bedroom door and creeped down the hall to the double doors of the terrace where she could see a broad shadow on the other side, hidden by the white cloth curtains. She took a deep breath to study herself before snatching back one curtain so she could view the assailant trying to get in on the other side. First, her heart lept with joy at the sight of a shivering Siva Kaneswaran, but then confusion overode that.

"Please, let me in," Siva pleaded on the other side of the glass, his hands that had little dots of red on them were covering his bare biceps. In a haste to make it to Dahlia's place before his bravery was squelched, he forgot to bring a jacket. And God must not have been emphathizing with him too much because the clouds reopened and rain began to shower Siva's frame. Dahlia didn't have the heart to leave him outside with the cold water pelting him so mercilessly - even if she did enjoy the sight of his short-sleeve black buttondown sticking to his muscles and defining them beautifully.

She bit her lower lip and popped the latches, pulling a door open so he could breeze in, before shutting and clicking the latches into place once more. She silently ushered him to her bedroom and closed the door, locking it back and tossing the baseball bat to the floor. Her back was to him, but she could feel his smoldering orbs running over her out of habit. Her dark, ebony tresses had slipped out of the ponytail holder she had put them in and fell over one shoulder bringing attention to her long-sleeve, knit navy nightdress that fell midthigh and contrasted wonderfully with her olive-toned skin. When Dahlia spun around to face Siva, his eyes immediately met hers. She was able to read the agony and culpability on the surface.

"Nice jimjams," he complimented, hoarsely. She didn't reply. He licked his lips nervously and gazed around, the glow of the moon and stars illuminating the room with a natural light from her two windows. Yes, he knew where Dahlia's bedroom was, but he had never visited it. The mixture of dark and light captured her personality well. All the pictures foreign countries that were taped to the walls were places she dreamed of visiting. The many ticket-stubs posted to a board were concerts she had been fortunate enough to see. He smiled to himself. Finally, the elephant in the room made his eyes land on hers again. "I'm so sorry," the sincerity beneath his words became a blanket that wrapped itself around Dahlia in an embrace of comfort and relief. The anxiety that had been bottled in her for three long weeks began to melt, but her stony facial expression said otherwise. She just stared at Siva, making him squirm.

Dahlia thought she was the only one that felt a sense of relief, but Siva felt it too. His shoulders weren't as knotted up as before and he could breathe easier. Though, the loss of Nareesha had made him so out of bounds, being in Dahlia's presence again made him feel more whole than he thought he'd ever feel again. A small, easy smile started to slowly lift Dahlia's pink lips up, but midway it dropped and tears filled her lower lids. The light that the moon cast into her room allowed Siva too see that faraway look in Dahlia's eyes. That look that she stored for him was on display but had so much anguish combined with it that his heart crumbled.

"I know." It seemed like it had been years since he heard her lovely voice. Her American accent was something that was always fascinating to him. "I know you're sorry and I've been waiting to hear that for a really, really long time, Siva." Was it possible to still feel despair even when it wasn't reasonable to anymore? "I forgive you, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how you could think I'd lie to you. I'd never betray you, Siva, I couldn't do that to you. Ever," she cried, crystal droplets running down her cheeks. Her earnest words made Siva's chest clench. He took two long strides forward and knelt down in front of her, winding his arms around her trim waist, embracing her wholeheartedly. The wetness of his shirt pressed against her thighs.

"Dahlia, forgive me, please," he begged, his face buried in her stomach. A startled Dahlia sniffed and squeaked out a chuckle.

"Don't you listen, you barmpot? I said you're forgiven," she tried to kid, even using one of Nath's silly insults. Despite this, tears still streamed from her eyes and hit Siva's thick and glossy, black bouffant. He lifted his head to lock his eyes on her as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm just praying that you'll never do that again," she said, more to herself with a subtle shake of her head. Siva heard her.

"Me too," Siva croaked. "I did'n mean to hurt you, I-I just did'n wan' ta' believe that she could do somethin' so treacherous," he poured out, staring off into the distance. He didn't aim for it to sound like a justification, or for Dahlia to even reply.

"I get that," she whispered. "I need you to know that I'm here for you, Seev," Gobsmacked, Siva lifted himself up and positioned himself in front of Dahlia so that he was staring directly into her almond-shaped eyes.

"How can you... how can you even say that?" Siva was in a great deal of shock. He couldn't tell if she knew that he knew about her infatuation, but for him the charade was over. This girl was willing to cast away her own feelings to take care of him after his messy breakup, and act like all was well. Finding someone like Dahlia was like finding a needle in a haystack. He didn't understand how one could be so pure, and was positive there was none other like her.

"Say what?"

"What you just said."

"Simple," she breathed, her eyebrows furrowing. "You're going through a tough time and nee-" Dahlia was cut short when Siva's succulent lips became planted on hers. A genuine gasp broke her lips apart - this was something she never saw coming in a million years. Just as quick as they were there, his lips were gone. Dahlia was breathing like she just finished first in a decathalon, her eyes wide and focused intently on Siva's. "Why did you do that?" she examined, furtively trying to slip from between him and the door. She couldn't deal with him playing with her emotions. His arms caged her in as he trapped her.

"Why did you do that, Siva?" she repeated, softer. His forehead rested against hers and his breath washed over her lips, causing her to stop fighting and stay still.

"Because..."

"Because what?" she pushed, her heart matching the pace of a hummingbird's wings.

"Because I'm glad I foun' you."