I Don't Wanna Feel a Thing Anymore.

327 Days Ago

Summer and fall came and went. My life grew to be uneventful and rather monotonous, but I didn’t mind. I was truly happy. Vic continued to play small gigs at clubs. I had gotten a few also back in September. Vic had also gotten a job for a painting company called Color Your World. We all teased him about it playfully, considering he was Mexican and painting houses, but he made of it himself. It was almost Christmas now. I was much happier in the winter.

Today was Mike’s birthday, December 14th. A few of us were at his house, just me, Vic, Frenchi, Tony, and Jaime and his girlfriend Jessica. Mike had insisted on a small “get-together” instead of a party. Both the Fuentes brothers looked much younger than they actually were, and they liked to keep that illusion up. Mike really wanted to be 21 forever, which was hilarious. So that’s how we all ended up sitting in his living room by the fire, laughing and drinking. We were all too poor to buy presents, but Mike didn’t care. The Christmas tree was up, which was a wonderful feeling. Vic and I didn’t have one yet. Mike had a great cake that Frenchi had made; it tasted just like gingerbread. The more Tony had to drink, the more he complained about not having a girlfriend. He made us all promise to help him find one. “Hell, now I know why you guys are gay.” He had said to us, making everyone laugh.

As we sat around the fire that night in the tiny living room, I realized that this was the happiest I had ever been. This is what I would call a family. We were just wasted and happy, singing Christmas carols and filling the room with love. I don’t think anything could beat this night.

I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache. Fuck, this wouldn’t be a fun hangover. I rolled over, opening my eyes. The room was lit dimly by the Christmas lights, but was otherwise dark. Everyone else from the previous night was passed out somewhere on the floor around me. Mike held Frenchi close, which made me smile. However much he tried to act like a badass, he really did love that girl. I scanned the room for Vic, laughing quietly when I realized he was right behind me. I couldn’t remember anything after about 10 pm from last night, but I know it must have been fun. It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. At least it was a Saturday, so I didn’t have to work.

I stood up, feeling dizzy. I needed some water. I stepped around my friends silently, pulling on my socks so my footsteps would be muted. I looked out the window, and it stopped me in my tracks. It was snowing; the first of the season. I crept back over to Vic, shaking him gently to wake him up.

“Vic. Get up, baby.” I whispered. He rolled over with a soft groan.

“Kell, what?” He said, his mouth in the carpet. I suppressed my laugh and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet.

“Sh, get your coat.” I instructed him. I wanted to take him into the snow. He grabbed a blanket instead. I lead him through the maze of sleeping bodies. He looked up at the windows by the front door.

“Kellin, it’s snowing!” He marveled. I chuckled.

“That’s the point. C’mon, sleepy head. We’re going outside.” I grabbed his hand and opened the door as quietly as I could, ushering Vic out. The world was silent.

“It’s beautiful. It never snows here.” Vic said. I knew he hated the cold. I pulled the blanket around both of us. We sat on Mike’s porch step, the snow falling serenely. I had never felt so peaceful.

“Kellin?” Vic whispered, shattering the tranquil silence. I looked at him. “I love you.” He murmured right into my ear. I raised my hands to his face and kissed him, perhaps more passionately than I ever had before. I pulled away with a sharp gasp.

“I love you too, Vic. So much.” I said, realizing there had never been a truer statement. I put my arm around him under the blanket and we kissed again. If I could pick any moment to live in forever, it would have been this one.