I Don't Wanna Feel a Thing Anymore.

267 Days Ago

I woke up very early this morning. This was the day I had been anticipating for the last two months: Vic’s birthday. I crept out of bed, making sure not to wake him up. First order of business was pancakes. I glanced at the clock, seeing that is was about 7. Vic would be waking up in about an hour. I made breakfast in our small kitchen, humming the song I had written for him. Sure, I had written lots about him, but today, I would play this for him. I wrapped my coat around my body, stepping into the cold yard to get a breath of fresh air. And then it hit me: I had forgotten the flowers. “Fuck.” I muttered to myself. It’s not like I could just pick some from our non-existent garden, and it was winter anyways. Since Vic’s birthday was February 10th, all the flower prices in the stores were sky high. “Fuck you, Valentine’s Day.” I grumbled as I weighed my options.

Then a horrible thought entered my head. There was a small graveyard at the end of the street. People left things there all the time. Well, I had no other options. I slipped silently down the road, hurrying to open the creaky gate. Luckily, no one else was here. I scanned the gravestones, seeing a few wilted daisies. But then my eye was caught by a couple of crisp, red roses. I walked over, the frosty leaves crunching under my step. I snatched three of them, seeing as there was a whole bouquet. I began to feel creeped out, like there was someone watching me. I said a quick prayer for whoever’s flowers I was stealing, and hauled ass back to the warmth of the house. I felt bad, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I set the roses on the tray with Vic’s pancakes, which were now just room temperature, but oh well. Maybe I’d go wake him in a really romantic way… But then I heard my phone start to ring from the other room. “Of fucking course.” I muttered, running to get it before it woke Vic up. Too late. He sat up, groaning. His hair stuck out in a funny way that I didn’t know was possible

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” I joked. He rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” He asked groggily. I laughed, sliding in to bed next to him. I wrapped my arm around his small frame.

“7:35 ish. Anyways, happy birthday, baby!” I said, kissing him softly. He looked slightly confused for a moment.

“Oh, wow. It’s my birthday. I’m old!” He started laughing, leaning into my shoulder.

“You’re adorable. Here, I hold on!” I commanded, kissing him again before running to grab his pancakes. He accepted them graciously.

“You made them without me! Ah, Kell, I’m so offended!” He joked, pulling me onto the bed next to him. Then he saw the roses. “Kells, a rose! They’re so expensive this time of year! You didn’t have to.” He gushed, clutching the flowers to his chest. I laughed shakily.

“Actually, I didn’t. I may or may not have stolen you flowers from the cemetery?” I whispered, not sure as to how he would react. He put his arm around me, pulling me even closer.

“I’m going to use that in a song, you know that?” He said in my ear, kissing down my neck. Vic and I would have been an unstoppable music writing force, to be honest. Anyways, things got heated pretty fast, considering it was before eight in the morning and we were already starting to take each other’s clothes off. But of course something had to ruin the moment. We jumped apart when we heard a knock at the door. Vic looked confused, seeing as he really kept his birthday on the down low. Like Mike, he was self conscious of his age. There were only a few people who knew when his birthday was, and all of those people knew not to disturb us without a phone call first. I pulled myself out of Vic’s arms.

“I’ll see who it is.” I said, pulling my shirt back on. I walked out to the front room and looked out the window to see Valerie and Beau, who both looked like they’d been crying. I opened the door quickly, ushering them in out of the cold.

“Oh my god, are you guys okay?” I asked, shutting the door behind them. Vic stumbled out of the bedroom. I stifled a laugh, noticing his shirt was on inside out. He looked shocked to see our friends so upset, though.

“This is really embarrassing… I’m so sorry to come here, you know you guys are our best friends…” Valerie blubbered, starting to cry again. Beau shushed her before speaking.

“We got evicted from out apartment.” He said more calmly. Vic and I looked right at each other. I was positive that after what I’ve been through, he wouldn’t turn them away. He sighed, and I could relate; it had been an eventful morning already.

“Look, guys, we have an extra room when Mike still lived here. Today’s my birthday, but-“ Valerie cut him off.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. We can leave.” She seemed even more embarrassed now.

“No, no, Val, listen. Kellin and I can spend the rest of the day together, but starting tomorrow, you guys can crash here. As long as you can contribute to food and bills and stuff.” Vic said levelly, rubbing his eyes. Valerie jumped forward, hugging Vic first, and then me.

“Thank you guys so much, really. So fucking much. We’ll leave you alone now.” She said sincerely, wiping tears from her eyes as she turned to leave. Beau thanked us both calmly before leaving behind his girlfriend.

“Well, she seems like a handful.” Vic said with a small laugh after the door had closed. “But anyways, where were we…?” He winked playfully, taking my hand to lead me back to the bedroom. Luckily, Vic had thought to move the breakfast tray onto the nightstand. The way we fell back onto the bed reminded me of our first night together. I smiled into our kiss as the memories danced over my mind, fading in to the present as one hand moved lower and lower, tugging at the elastic waist of his pajama pants. We had done this lots of times, but there was still a giddy excitement about it that made me feel like a teenager. Our lips detached for only a second to pull our shirts off, only to be reconnected mere seconds later. He raked his cold finger over my chest, sending chilly shivers down my spine and making me bite my lip in anticipation. I was warmed right back up as he let his fingers travel farther down to just under my waistband. I had thought about changing into my jeans earlier, but now I was glad that I didn’t. His hands felt so cold against my thigh, tickling the spot where my leg attached to my body and making me buck my hips against him.
“Vic,” I whispered, placing one of my hands on his cheeks. He smirked at me and slowly started to pull my pants off, shimmying out of his own in the process. The excitement almost got to my head before I remembered that today was his birthday, and therefor he was the one that deserved special treatment. I broke our kiss, planting my lips along his jaw like and down his neck, nipping at the skin here or there. I couldn’t help but giggle a little as I kissed down his entire body. He was just so god damn perfect, and then there was me and I was just the lucky duck that got to do this with him and damn, I just wanted to please him. His breathing hitched as I kissed just underneath his belly button, my finger hooked on the elastic of his boxers. I tugged them down and moved my hand up his thigh, teasing him a little with my fingers. My hand gripped him and pumped with a smooth rhythm just as he liked. I looked up at him, searching his face for any signs of how I was doing as I usually did, and couldn’t help but smile at the face he made, with his eyes half-closed and his shaky hand tangling itself gently in my hair.
A small moan escaped his lips as I slowly started to take him in my mouth little by little at a time. The sound was so sweet that I could feel butterflies in my tummy. I felt only the slightest amount of pressure to impress, to drive him to the edge just as he liked and for this to be perfect, but Vic’s hand, pulling only a little on my hair instilled confidence that told me that I was doing a good job. “K-Kellin,” he whispered a little. I kept bobbing my head up and down, moving my hand in time, speeding up only slightly as he gave me the warning. His legs twitched and his body shuttered and a tiny yelp came from his lips as he came and I kept going, bringing him through his climax until it was done. He let out a long breath, tilting his head back on the pillows and I smiled as I swallowed, trying my hardest not to pull any sort of face. “God, I love you,” he whispered, reaching out to grab my hand. I intertwined my fingers with his and squeezed his hand. Even though it wasn’t my birthday, it was still the best day ever.