I Don't Wanna Feel a Thing Anymore.

173 Days Ago (Kellin and Vic’s One Year Anniversary)

It was crazy to think that it had already been a year. So much had changed. Vic wasn’t just a boy I had spotted in the grocery store. I wasn’t homeless. Beau and Valerie lived with us happily. Vic had a job and played gigs regularly. Mike and Frenchi were getting married next month. My birthday had come and gone, meaning I was another year older. It’s insane to really consider how fast life moves.

But there are some things that just wouldn’t change. Vic still gave me butterflies; and his smile never failed to make my heart melt. Tony was still a hopeless romantic, looking for the girl of his dreams. I still worked at Whole Foods. I still didn’t talk to my family. And of course, we continued to do soccer and open mic every Friday night.

It’s truly amazing what a year can do. But there was no doubt that it was the best time of my life.

Vic and I were going out to dinner tonight. We didn’t go on official dates, well, ever. We didn’t have the money. It was a Saturday, and he had to work. I spent the day hanging out with Val. The girl really had grown on me; I sometimes found myself taking on her dramatic energy when we were together. We were going shopping today, because I still needed a present for Vic. I may have procrastinated a little. Or a lot. Oops. We had both been saving up our paycheck money; she had offered to help me pay for the gift, even though I had protested. Even though she definitely had a flair for the dramatic, she was a great friend.

We went to San Diego mall, the largest in the city. I had no idea what I was getting him. The mall was definitely overwhelming, especially because it was my first time going there. Vic and I were probably the only gay people I knew who didn’t really like shopping. That’s why I needed Val’s help.

“So, where to?” I asked, looking for her guidance. She scanned the mall map.

“Do you want to get him a bunch of little things, or one big thing?” She prompted.

“I don’t know, Val. I was thinking maybe one big thing?” I said tentatively, reading the list of stores there. Then one finally caught my eye – Barakat Music Supply. “I got it!” I said excitedly, grabbing Valerie’s arm. “He’s always wanted an electric guitar! He has a random amp he got at a yard sale, but no guitar to hook up to it.” Her eyes lit up at my suggestion.

“Kellin, he’ll love it. Let’s get going to the music store, we don’t have all day!” She grabbed my hand and led me through the crowds of people; she knew exactly where she was going. It was easy to forget that she was a musician, too.

The music store was heaven to me. I had to keep reminding myself that I was here shopping for Vic, not myself. We scanned the rack of guitars that lined the walls. I was worried about getting one he didn’t like, so we flagged down one of the sales people.

“Hey, I’m Jack. What can I help you guys with?” He asked. I couldn’t help but notice that he had a huge nose.

“I’m looking for an electric guitar for my boyfriend.” I explained. Jack smiled and asked me questions about what kind of music he played, where his gigs were, budget, and other things.

“Wait, I have the perfect one. I’ll be right back.” He said over his shoulder as he disappeared behind a curtain, probably to the storage room. He reappeared minutes later, carrying a guitar that I instantly knew Vic would love. I called Valerie over from where she was browsing the acoustics. She gasped when she saw it.

“Kellin, that’s the one for Vic. I know it.” She gushed, grabbing my arm. I smiled and nodded in agreement. The guitar was black, shaped with points jutting out on both ends, and white lines crisscrossing the surface. Jack handed it over and allowed me to strum a few chords on it. Even not plugged in, it sounded amazing.

“How much?” I asked, fearing the answer. I was suddenly thankful that I had been saving up for so long. Jack chewed on his lip for a moment.

“It’s used, but in great condition. It’s retailed for 600$, but for you, only 500$.” He said with a smile. “And I’ll be sure to stop by one of his gigs sometime.” He helped ring us up. Valerie paid for 100$ of it. I swear, these two were angels. We thanked Jack before leaving the mall triumphantly.

“Valerie!” I found myself yelling at around 6:30 PM. Vic was getting ready at Mike’s house. We were turning into a pretty dramatic ordeal, but the date was going to be very legit. Valerie ran up to my room.

“What now, Kellin?” she asked with a sigh. I had been making her run up here a million times for advice on various things.

“Do you think I should wear the blue tie, or the black one?” I asked frantically. Vic would be here in 15 minutes. She pressed both ties to my maroon, short-sleeved button down.

“Black.” She decided. She started to leave, but then stopped and turned back around. “Kellin, Vic loves you. You guys spend every moment you can together, and what tie you’re wearing tonight won’t change that.” She smiled before closing my door. She was right. I ended up pacing my room for the next ten minutes, until the doorbell rang. Of course, Vic was here early. I heard Beau answer the door and say sarcastically, “Vic, what a pleasure to see you! We weren’t expecting you!” Vic’s laugh made my heart soar. I slid on my shoes and walked down to the greeting room. He never failed to take my breath away. He had on one of his funny signature button downs, a light blue one with red and yellow flowers, and nice khaki pants. He stepped forward, pulling me into his arms.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Beau said, heading back into his and Valerie’s room. Vic kissed me softly.

“You look amazing!” He whispered to me. I blushed, scoffing a little.

“Nothing compared to you.” I said truthfully. He took my hand and led me out to the car. We were going to a very upscale Mexican restaurant, of course. Dinner was fabulous, but I still was excited for what was to come after. We took our time, really spoiling ourselves and going for dessert as well. We held hands across the table, laughing and talking without a care in the world.

After the check was paid, we walked back out to the car. Vic surprised me by kissing me, hard.

“I can’t wait to get back.” He murmured. I felt my heart race as I leaned in to kiss him again, running my hand quickly down his chest. He laughed and opened my door for me. To make things even better, Valerie and Beau were out somewhere. I didn’t know where, and I didn’t really care. I remembered the first night he had taken me home, and I could feel my pants start to get tight as I remembered it. ‘Not now, Kellin. Presents first.’ I scolded myself inwardly. It didn’t help much.

We slammed the door hard behind us once we got home. Vic pressed me against the wall, his hands trailing down to my waistline and undoing my belt. It took all my self control to say, “I have something for you first.” It came out as a gasp, but he heard. I grabbed his hand, not bothering to fix my pants.

“Mine first.” I demanded. He nodded eagerly, bouncing up and down on the bed. “Victor, close your eyes.” I scolded jokingly. He did as he was told. I hadn’t bothered to wrap the guitar, I had procrastinated buying it for too long. “Hold out your hands.” I instructed. I set the guitar down gingerly. I heard him gasp, and his eyes flew open.

“Oh my god… Kellin.” He whispered, examining it. “It’s amazing. I can’t even…” His voice trailed off, and he just picked it up, starting to strum a song. “It’s perfect. No, you’re perfect. Thank you so much.” He layed it down gently beside him, and reached up to give me soft, sweet kiss. I was blushing too much to even say anything.

“Now, Kellin. I have a little something to say before I give you mine.” He stated, starting to pace. Vic looked nervous, which was a rare thing for him. “Kell, I love you. You don’t know how much you mean to me. Before I met you, I had nothing. No one. I was uninspired and sad, I had no plan or next step to take in my life. But you saved me. You pulled me out of the empty, meaningless cycle I was stuck in. I can’t imagine living without you. I fell in love from the moment we kissed. If it’s possible… I’d like to know you will be here with me. Forever.” Oh my god. This was really happening. Vic dropped to the ground on his knees. Sure, I was used to seeing him in this position, but this was different. “Kellin Quinn Bostwick, will you marry me?” He whispered, holding out a simple silver ring. I dropped to the ground, kissing him with more love than I ever knew was possible. I pulled back for one second.

“Yes.” I murmured before our lips crashed back together again.