Back to You

Taking a deep breath, Liam knocked on the door to Blair’s place. It had taken him a while to find, causing him even more stress. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. The reality of son was becoming more and more tangible as he waited for the door to open.

He heard the lock unclick and his heart started to beat faster. When Blair appeared on the other side, he felt as if it would break right out of his chest. She was wearing a tight smile as they greeted each other awkwardly.

She stepped aside and allowed him to enter the apartment. “Is Ben around?” He asked, trying to make conversation. Liam had been pretty good friends with Ben before everything changed and he thought it might be nice to catch up with him.

“No.” She said airily. They were still standing in the entryway, both unsure of what to do. “I asked him to step out.” He also hoped that Ben might act as a buffer to ease the obvious tension, but now he was left totally alone.

With a jerk of her head she indicated that he could follow her. They walked a few steps before an archway lead them into a spacious living room. Liam could see a small head bobbing around, but from the angle he was at, he couldn’t make out what the person looked like over the couch.

”I want to.” Blair said, pushing her lips back to Liam’s. The kiss sparked up another round of heavy snogging. He felt her inch her fingers back into his shirt, just as she had done a few minutes ago.

Liam broke the kiss, turning away. “Are you sure?” He wanted this more than anything, but he didn’t want to rush into his first time. He felt that he was ready, but he wanted her to be 100% sure before they took that step.

She rolled her eyes. Normally she loved how cautious he was but right now it was annoying. “Yes! I love you. I want my first time to be with you.” Tonight was the perfect opportunity since her parents were out of town. Blair had been planning this for weeks and Liam was on the brink of spoiling it.

He hesitated again, looking into her eyes for an answer. Blair pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. “Blair-“ He began to protest, but was cut off by her pushing him forcefully onto the bed.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t want this, Liam.” She said huskily, climbing on top of him and kissing along his jawline softly. He groaned in response, pulling her back to his lips. She smiled into his forceful kisses, knowing she had convinced him. He flipped her so that he hovered over her, allowing his hands to trace that curves of her body.

She tugged the hem of his shirt again and this time he allowed her to pull it from his body. Their breathing became labored as they peeled out of the clothing that separated them. Once they were completely absent of clothing, Liam paused. He looked at her thoughtfully.

They were using protection, obviously. But he couldn’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong. He could hurt her, he could completely suck in bed or the condom could break. They could break up, fall out of love, and regret giving away their most precious position. Liam didn’t want that. He didn’t want something so great to go sour.

“Stop thinking so much, Liam.” She whispered, looking back at him. Her hands gripped his hips and she pulled him to her. She gasped as the pressure of him entering her pushed her back into the mattress.

Liam felt a sharp pain on his shoulder and he looked to find that Blair had bit him to keep from crying out. “Am I hurting you?” He said, suddenly worried. Liam pulled back but she kept him in place.

“I’m fine.” She assured him. He knew she was lying. He could tell by the way her freckled face was contorted in pain. He still didn’t do anything. “Please.” She begged him, blowing a shaky breath from her lips.

Liam conceded, and after a while her sharp cries of pain evolved into a feeling she couldn’t describe. It made her toes curl, it made her dig her fingernails into Liam’s back, it made her moan, and it made her whisper his name with every gentle thrust. It was the most incredible thing she’d ever experienced.

When they had both reached their high, Liam collapsed on top of her. They lie there, breathing heavily and smiling. After a few minutes, Liam rolled off and pulled her close. Blair’s heart fluttered at the feeling of snuggling into his warm chest.

She couldn’t believe how much she loved him. She was completely head over heels before, but after they made love, she fell even further. He was so sweet and gentle. She felt like she was the most important thing he had ever held, and she loved it.

“I love you, Liam.” She whispered, her hand rubbing along his bare chest. It was rising and falling steadily. His heartbeat sounded into her ear. He was totally and completely hers in this one perfect moment.

“I love you too, Blair. Forever.” His full lips pressed into her freckled forehead. They both sighed, blissfully happy. Blair drifted into a peaceful sleep with Liam rubbing patterns on her naked back. He had just given her his virginity. And she had given him hers.

And it was brilliant. Fueled by love and trust instead of just teenaged hormones. There was no place they would have rather been.

Blair had made her way to the other side of the couch and picked the small boy in her arms. She smiled down at him and he returned it. In his small hand he was holding a Buzz Lightyear action figure.

“Liam, this is Jordie.” Blair said, looking back up at him. “Can you say hi, Jordie?” She asked, looking back at her son. His son. Their son.

“Hi.” Jordie greeted him quickly and buried his face into Blair’s neck. She laughed and rubbed his back.

“He’s a little shy.” She told him, humor in her tone. With her free hand, she grabbed his chin and turned his head back to Liam.

Liam had been awestruck. She couldn’t believe that the little person in Blair’s arms was his. The pictures didn’t do anything to prepare him for this. When Liam’s eyes met Jordie’s, he felt as thought the wind was knocked out of him. His knees were shaking so violently that they were knocking against each other. He has to grip the couch to keep from toppling over.

Blair felt as though her heart had ripped clean in half. Liam stood there, not saying anything. His hands were gripping the back of the couch. His lip was trembling and she saw the moisture pool on his eyes. She couldn’t believe that she had taken all those years from Liam. She was the worst kind of person alive, she was sure of it.

Jordie was the most beautiful thing Liam had ever seen. He was so small and delicate. Liam felt as if he was looking at a much more perfect version of himself. He let the tears fall over his cheeks, not wanting to hide them.

“Mummy sad?” Jordie asked, putting a small hand on Blair’s cheek, wiping away her tears that had slipped out. She bit her lip at the gesture and shook her head.

“No. Mummy isn’t sad.” She assured her little boy with a weak smile. “Liam-do you uh-“ She pointed to Jordie, asking him silently if he wanted to hold him.

Liam reacted immediately, making his way around the couch to them. After hesitating, Blair held him out, indicating that Liam was to take him. He wrapped his arm around the soft, warm body and propped him on his hip like Blair had.

“Hello.” Liam said to Jordie. His son’s brown eyes were identical to his. They were wide and questioning, not knowing who this man was, or why he was crying. “What have you got here?” Liam asked, pointing to the action figure in his hand.

“Buzz!” Jordie told Liam, holding it up so Liam could get a better look. He had a huge smile on his chubby face. He giggled as he made flying noises to demonstrate what Buzz could do.

“Whoa!” Liam said, laughing as he watched Buzz fly around. “What else do you have?” He asked the boy, who smiled even wider. He loved to show off he toys. Jordie pointed to the floor where his collection was.

Liam set him down carefully and allowed the boy to lead him to the pile. He stumbled over his little feet, but made it unharmed, sitting down heavily when he arrived. Liam took a seat across from him and accepted the Buzz toy from the smiling boy.

Liam couldn’t wrap his head around what it felt like to have his little boy smile at him. His heart was so full of love and wonder he thought it might pop. He never imagined that it was possible to feel that way about someone, let alone someone he just met.

But in the moment his eyes looked into Jordie’s, he fell completely in love. There was nothing in his life that had ever felt so right. Liam had never experienced the series of emotions that was pulsing through his body. He would do anything for this wide-eyed boy with a shaggy mop of hair on his head.

He would do anything for his son.