When Writer's Block Turns Bad

The Doctor opened his eyes blearily and sat up, wondering why the sky was green. As far as he could remember, he had gone to sleep in the TARDIS last night and, being accustomed to waking up where he last lost consciousness, he was quite understandably confused.

He toyed with the idea of lying there until this was explained to him, but remembered that this generally didn't happen often and was therefore unlikely to happen this time. In fact, he was the one who usually did the explaining.

He lay on his back for a while, taking in his surroundings, which were fairly boring. He was in a small room. It was green. It really didn't merit any other description.

Reluctantly sitting up, he realized two things: one, there was a note lying on the ground; two, he was not alone. A young girl, about sixteen, was sitting next to him. She was dressed in a tattered skirt and chemise that looked as if they had seen much better days, which made him think that she was probably an urchin from some unknown era. She looked somehow... broken, far older than her years. Nobody would have described her as pretty, yet you couldn't really call her ugly either. She was staring at him with a shiftless, unnerving gaze... hang on, that sounded familiar. No. No way!

"Eponine?" This had to be a dream.

"You know my name, Monsieur?"

The Doctor laughed out loud. "Eponine from Les Miserables? The novel by Victor Hugo? This is unbelievable!"

"Victor who?"

"Of all the places to randomly turn up in! Um, how exactly did I turn up here?"

Eponine looked more than a little confused, which the Doctor could understand. "I just woke up and I was here," she shrugged. "It's better than freezing on the streets, I suppose. Maybe you should read that letter. It doesn't make any sense, mind. I read it before you woke up - I can read and write, you know. My sister and I, we had lessons when we were little..."

Ignoring Eponine's trademark babbling, the Doctor picked up the note and began to read. Every second, his eyebrows shot up, until they were in danger of reaching his hairline. Once he reached the end, he read it out for Eponine, hoping that it would make more sense once said aloud.

"Dear random characters of much-loved fiction whom I have kidnapped,
You may be slightly worried by now. Don't be - you're perfectly safe! Sort of. Anyway, I am the Author, and I have brought you here to be part of my story. You have been set a challenge: to reach the moon. This would be quite simple if there was no opposition, as you could use the TARDIS (incidentally, you will find it in the next room). However, you have Opponants. They are known as Johnny Depp and Mr. Blobby, and they are trying to reach the Eiffel Tower before you make it to the moon. You must do everything in your power to slow them down (I shall be able to help you by placing Random Obstructions in their path), whilst getting to the moon on time. They will probably try to steal the TARDIS, so you'll have to find another way to get there.

Once the competition has finished, I will return you to where you came from. You won't have any recollection of what happened, so it's OK, I'm not messing up history.

Good luck and Bon Voyage!

Emma (aka the Author)

PS Everything will be fine. That is, if you don't get mortally wounded and die, which is possible, if not probable. Good luck! Try not to kill each other."

The Doctor paused.

"So... we have to get to... the moon, before Messieurs Depp and Blobby reach the Eiffel Tower?" Eponine didn't sound any less confused than she had been earlier.

"In a nutshell, yes," said the Doctor. He paused again. "Well, it should be simple enough!" After all, all he had to do was get into the TARDIS and go to the moon, right?

"Monsieur...?"

"Doctor."

"Monsieur Doctor, can I ask something?"

"As long as it's not 'what are we doing here', because I don't really have a clue. I'm working on it, though."

"What's a TARDIS?"

The Doctor grinned - this was the part that he loved. "I'll show you!"

He walked out the door, followed by Eponine. Sure enough, there was the TARDIS, in all of its blue, boxlike glory. The Doctor swung open the TARDIS door and helped Eponine inside.

"But it's... mon deui! It's bigger on the inside..."

After a few minutes of letting Eponine dart in and out of the ship, to satisfy herself that she wasn't hallucinating, the Doctor closed the door.

"Right," he said, cheerfully (never mind the fact that they could be in mortal peril in the near future). "Let's go to the moon, then hopefully this will be over! That is, as long as I'm not dreaming, which I haven't ruled out."

The Doctor could tell that Eponine didn't understand any of this, but that was irrelevant. After all, this would be over soon enough. Hopefully.

Wouldn't it?