My Dear Watson

"I don't see why you care so much. " Mikey started. It always started this way, no pun intended. Although, come to think of it, Mikey was always the one to start fights. He would always manage to push his brother's buttons and call him out for things he knew he was right about, by any means necessary, even if those means were sneaky and slightly under-handed.

"I don't see why you have to be such an asswipe."

"It hardly even matters. Just come out. You're making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be."

"It's the principle of the thing."

"Since when do you have principles?"

"Since when has it been your job to make my life a living hell?"

"Shut up, you love me."

"Only because I have to."

"I'm not so sure. Fratricide is more common than you think, and you don't show any of the signs. Well...maybe a couple. But you're not technically obligated to love me. You could hate me if you wanted to."

"One, just because I want to, doesn't mean I can. Two, I find it disturbing that you have obviously researched fratricidal characteristics. Three, why do I bother talking to you if you always manage to turn it around and mock me?"

"One, I resent that. I'm fucking fantastic and you know it. Two, it was for my psych class in college, and I wanted to find out if my creepy-ass brother was plotting to kill me. Three, it's because you're so easy to mock, dear Watson."

"...You took a psych class? And don't call me Watson. I'm totally Sherlock."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Fuck you."

"No thanks. I don't believe in incestuous relationships."

"You're the one who had a crush on our cousin."

"I was five and I thought she was pretty! I did NOT have a crush on her!"

"Denial isn't healthy, Mikey."

"You're one to talk, ass-hat. Just accept it already. You are one hundred percent, totally, unwaveringly gay. And you definitely have a boner for-"

The Way brothers' argument was cut off when none other than the object of their tiff returned to the living room from his bedroom, DVD in hand.

"Who does Gerard have a boner for? And if it helps Gee, I already knew you were gay. A lot of people do." Frank smirked as he shared this news (well, it was news to Gerard), and he popped the DVD in and waited for the menu to come up.

"WHAT?!" Gerard couldn't help the shriek that escaped his lips. He had a right to shriek. His sexuality was, in his mind, his best kept secret, and he prided himself on being discreet.

"C'mon, Gee. Be realistic. You can only have so many posters of shirtless rock stars on your bedroom walls before people start to question your straightness. Not to mention the fact that you're a grown man with posters of shirtless rock stars on his bedroom walls."

"He's right."

"But...what?! I was so careful!"

"Gerard."

"Yeah, Mikey?"

"This is why you're Watson."

Gerard merely rolled his eyes and flipped his brother off, too exasperated and freaking out a little too much to deal with him at the moment.

"What are you talking about?" Frank asked, having missed that part of the conversation despite his best efforts at eavesdropping.

"Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seems to have anticipated the existence of your little boyfriend about one hundred years early. He is totally Watson. He's not perceptive enough for Holmes."

"He's right, Gee." Frank agreed, not saying anything about Mikey's "boyfriend" remark. Gerard noticed.

"Fuck you. Both of you. How many people know?"

"As many people that have been in your room, seen one of our concerts, heard your ringtone, seen how you act around girls, and have a gay-dar with at least fifty percent accuracy."

"Fifty percent, eh? Wait. What do you mean 'have heard my ringtone'?"

Frank pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Gerard. After a couple seconds, his phone started ringing, and Frank cocked an eyebrow, giving Gerard his "Really? I mean, really?" look, that for some reason, he used more when he was around Gerard more than when he was around anyone else.

Gerard blushed as he heard Lady Gaga's Paparazzi coming from his phone, and he realized just how obvious he was.

"Seriously, Gerard. Lady Gaga? I'd be surprised if anyone thought you were straight."

"Fuck off, it's a good song." Frank just sighed at this, and pinched the bridge of his nose as a sign of giving up.

"Mikey?"

"Yeah, Gee?"

"You're right. I'm totally Watson."

"Told you."

"Yeah, whatever."

"You guys never answered my question. Who does Gerard have a boner for?"

"A boy."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"See, Gerard? Even Frankie agrees that I'm Sherlock."

"But seriously. Who is it? Do I know him?"

"Yes, very well."

"MIKEY! Shut up!"

"But I haven't answered Frankie's question yet."

"Mikey, what grade did you get on that fratricide paper?"

"I think it was a B, why?"

"Hmmm...you should do better research." Mikey got the point and stared wide-eyed at Gerard. He decided to shut up, since he didn't want to die and Gerard didn't want to go to jail.

"I'm confused. And I still don't know who Gerard likes."

"And it's going to stay that way, Mary." Mikey said in a mocking tone, fighting the smirk that threatened to spread across his face, and failing miserably.

"My name's not Mary."

"I know." and they watched their movie , Mikey looking smug in his stupid little armchair, Frank settling onto their couch next to Gerard and resigning to remaining confused, and Gerard just enjoying the closeness.