Forever and Always

“This is ridiculous. I can’t find any of the stuff I need for this recipe,” Jack grumbles, holding his cell phone against his ear as he pushes a cart through the grocery store.

Alex laughs, “That’s your own fault for finding such ridiculous recipes that you just have to cook.”

“Hey, this chicken alfredo casserole is going to blow your taste buds off,” Jack scoffs.

“Hmm, I’ll be the judge of that.”

Jack rolls his eyes, putting a box of noodles into the cart. “So when are you going to be home tonight, anyway?”

“I’ll definitely be home by six o’clock. I wish I could be home sooner, but I’ve got a ton of stuff to do at the record label. We’re trying to get out a new album for one of the bands,” Alex explains.

“That’s fine, I understand,” Jack says honestly. He knows that while Alex’s job at Hopeless Records might look easy, it’s not all fun and games all the time. It takes a lot of work to keep a bunch of bands in the spotlight. “I’ll have dinner hot and ready for you when you walk through the door tonight.”

Alex sighs happily. “I love you.”

“You just love me for my cooking,” Jack teases, pushing the cart down another aisle and almost hitting someone. He puts his hand up and mouths an apology before the woman scowls at him and walks away.

“Yeah, sure. If that was the case, I wouldn’t be marrying you. I’d be marrying your cooking.”

Jack smiles, glancing down at his engagement ring before saying, “Alright, get back to work. I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

--------------------

Jack looks up at the clock as he sets dinner onto the kitchen table. Quarter after six. Alex should have been home by now.

He puts the plates down and sits down in his spot at the table, assuming that Alex is just stuck in traffic or something. He’ll be home soon. Jack decides to wait for him before he starts to eat.

Half an hour passes and Alex still isn’t home. Jack sighs and checks his phone again, but there are no new calls or texts from Alex. He must have gotten held up at work or something; that was the only logical reason why he wouldn’t warn Jack about being home late. Jack doesn’t want to bother him by calling his phone, so he sets it back down on the table.

By seven-thirty, Jack’s stomach is growling and he eats the cold dinner silently, wondering why Alex still hasn’t shown up. Surely he would have called to tell Jack he would be late?

By eight, Jack has called Alex multiple times and gotten no answer. He’s pacing back and forting in the front room, looking out the window at their driveway. Jack’s car is the only one there. Alex still isn’t home.

Jack dials Zack’s number and Zack says that he’s probably running late and that Jack shouldn’t worry. He’s no help. He calls Rian next.

“Rian, have you heard from Alex recently?” Jack asks, running a hand through his hair.

“No, I actually haven’t talked to him since yesterday. Cassadee says she hasn’t either. Why, is something wrong?” Rian asks, sounding more concerned than Zack did.

Jack sighs, “I don’t know. Alex is really late coming home, and I can’t get a hold of him or figure out where he is.”

“Well, maybe he just got caught up with work and forgot to call or check his phone. Don’t assume it’s something terrible, you’ll just make yourself more worried,” Rian says.

“I guess so. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Okay. Tell me when you get a hold of him, bro,” Rian says before they hang up.

Jack looks back out the window, getting a little scared. Alex should have called by now. He always does. His phone suddenly rings and he looks at it, hoping it’s Alex. It’s an unfamiliar number. Jack answers it with, “Hello?”

“Jack Barakat?” a woman questions.

“Yes, ma’am. That’s me,” Jack tells her.

“This is the Baltimore County Hospital. I’m calling to tell you that something has happened to your fiancé, Alex. He’s been hurt and… you should try to get here immediately.”

Jack’s heart nearly stops as his mind races through the possibilities of what’s going on. What happened to Alex that put him in the hospital?!

“Sir, are you okay?” the woman asks.

Jack stammers out, “Um, y-yes, I’ll be there as quickly as possible.”

--------------------

Christmas Day, December 25th, 2011

Alex and Jack are sitting in their living room together with their friends, laughing, drinking beer, and opening gifts together. What better way to spend Christmas than with your closest friends and a few packs of beer to go around?

“Aw, Jack!” Alex exclaims, smiling broadly as he opens his gift from Jack. It was a new beanie with Alex’s name etched into it and a new watch, because Alex kept complaining that his was getting old. He leans over and kisses Jack. “I love these, they’re perfect.”

“Glad you like it,” Jack smiled, then his expression turned into a pout. “Where’s my present?”

Alex raises an eyebrow, “Actually, I was going to give it to you later.”

“But I want to know what it is now!” Jack whines, and Alex laughs because he sounds like a five year old.

“I guess I could give it to you now,” Alex shrugs, looking over at Rian and Zack. They were suddenly extremely thirsty, insisting that they have to go into the kitchen.

When they’re gone, Alex holds Jack’s hand gently and says, “You know I love you with all my heart, right?”

“Yeah, of course I do,” Jack says, frowning in confusion.

“Well, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t see myself being with anyone but you,” Alex says, looking down at their hands.

“Me either, Alex,” Jack says, blushing.

Alex takes a deep breath before standing up and pulling a small box out of his pocket. Jack’s eyes go wide as Alex kneels down in front of him and opens a ring case. “I love you, Jack Barakat. You are the love of my life and I want to be with you until the day that we die. I want us to be together forever and always. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Jack… will you marry me?”

Jack gasps and smiles widely, lunging forward to hug him as he exclaims, “Yes! Of course!”

Alex laughs and hugs him back, beaming as they pull apart and he slips the ring onto Jack’s finger. He kisses him slowly and when they pull away he murmurs, “I love you so much.”

Rian and Zack come back into the room suddenly, clapping and hollering, and both boys blush. Jack points a finger at them, accusing, “You two knew about this!”

“Of course we did. Who do you think kept the ring at his house for the past month so you wouldn’t snoop around and find it?” Zack asks with a smirk.

--------------------

Jack pulls up to the hospital in five minutes, having sped through a fifteen minute drive. He parks quickly and shuts off the engine, scrambling to get out of the car. He runs inside, through the doors of the emergency room and up to the front desk. The receptionist looks up at him curiously.

“I’m here for Alex Gaskarth. Where is he?” he asks, out of breath. Her eyes widened slightly and she nods, stopping a nurse that was walking by the desk.

“Take him back to see Alex Gaskarth,” she says.

The nurse gives Jack a sympathetic look, motioning for him to come with her. “Follow me.”

She leads him down what seems like a million hallways, a never-ending maze of hospital rooms and gurneys. They stop outside of a closed door, where a doctor is looking at a chart and scans.

“Sir, he’s here to see Alex.”

“What happened to him?” Jack croaks weakly. “How is he?”

“Your fiancé was driving home from work when he was hit by a drunk driver that ran a red light. He slammed into the car just in front of the driver side door,” the doctor says softly.

Jack squeezes his eyes shut, murmuring, “No, no, no…”

“Alex is lucky that he wasn’t dead on impact, to be honest. It’s a miracle that he’s not in a coma, either. He’s not doing well at all though. He was knocked unconscious but he woke up a while ago. He was begging for you. He seems to be coherent but…” the doctor sighs. “He has many broken ribs and a punctured lung. He broke his left leg and his left arm. We stitched up the cuts from the broken windshield…”

“But he’ll live, right?” Jack asks, fearing the answer.

The doctor takes a deep breath and says, “Jack, the CT scan we ran showed that he has a brain hemorrhage. His brain is bleeding. There’s nothing we can do about it because it’s so serious, and emergency surgery wouldn’t work at all. We’ve exhausted our options. Alex probably has a few hours at most, and he’ll get worse as it goes on. We’re trying to keep him as comfortable as possible right now.”

Jack’s eyes fill with tears and everything seems to be in a blur. This can’t be happening.

“Can I see him?” he asks, and the doctor nods.

“Of course. Stay as long as you want.”

Jack opens the door and walks into a room, trying to keep a straight face as he sees Alex. He was bandaged and covered in stitches and hooked up to IVs. An oxygen nosepiece was on his nose to help him breathe. This was what they called comfortable? It looked like hell.

Alex smiles when he sees Jack, gasping out, “Hey.”

“Hey, baby,” Jack chokes out as he sits down by him. He has to stay strong for Alex…

“It’s okay to cry, Jacky. They told me what’s going on. They didn’t exactly tell me I’m on my death bed, but I got the point,” Alex says, his voice rough. The punctured lung was probably making it hard to speak.

Jack’s tears spill over as he puts his head on Alex’s shoulder, breathing shakily as he cries. “It’s just… this isn’t fucking fair! I wish I was lying there instead of you. Anyone but you.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Alex murmurs, gripping Jack’s hand loosely. Jack holds onto it tightly. “It wasn’t in our control at all. We couldn’t do anything about it. Let’s just make the time last while we have it, alright?”

Jack sniffled but he agreed, nodding and squeezing the older boy’s hand.

--------------------

It had already been a half hour since Jack got to the emergency room. He was lying on the small bed with Alex at Alex’s request, their hands intertwined. They had just been talking, reminiscing and trying to lighten the mood. Rian, Zack, and Alex’s parents would be here soon. Jack had told them what happened.

“Do you remember that conversation we had a few months ago? When we said we wanted to adopt a kid together in a few years?” Alex asks, looking up at Jack.

Jack laughs, “Of course. We were arguing about what we would name them for like two days. That was such a stupid fight.”

“I still think Sierra Rae was the best one,” Alex says with a smile.

Jack shakes his head, “No way. Phoenix Alexander was my favorite one.”

“We could have adopted a boy and a girl. Two kids. We could have used both the names,” Alex points out. “I’m not sure why we didn’t think of that then.”

“I know,” Jack murmurs, tracing patterns across Alex’s arm with his free hand. “Remember that big white house at the edge of the neighborhood?”

“The one on the little hill?”

“Yeah. That’s the one we said we wanted to buy and raise kids in. It would be the perfect place to do it,” Jack says, a smile on his face.

Alex nods slightly, “We would have grown old together in that house and never left, even if our other friends moved away. We would have watched our kids grow up and have their own families, while we sat on the front porch and drank beer together. All day every day.”

“We would have huge beer guts as old men, babe,” Jack smiles. Alex grins and shrugs slightly, wincing at the movement.

The door opens quickly and Alex’s parents run in, Rian and Zack right behind them. Alex’s mom is crying and she runs over to hug Alex. Jack sits up so he’s not quite in the way, but he keeps his tight hold on Alex’s hand.

“Oh, my poor baby! I’m so sorry!” Alex’s mom sobs, covering her mouth.

“I’m going to sue the shit out of that drunk driver. And then I’m going to make sure he spends the rest of his life in jail,” Alex’s dad says, his jaw tight. He looks like he’s about to cry too. Rian and Zack seem to be biting back tears, trying to keep it inside and stay strong for Alex. Jack is surprised that he hasn’t cried since he first walked in.

Everyone is silent for a few minutes. Alex coughs and then moans in pain, closing his eyes. His breathing is more labored than before and he seems a little more out of it. He mutters, “This blows. I wish that guy had just killed me on impact.”

That makes his parents tear up again and Jack bites his lip. He looks down at their hands, at their engagement rings, and suddenly gets an idea. He squeezes Alex’s hand and stands up, “I’ll be right back.”

Jack goes out to the nurse, tapping her on the shoulder. She looks worried. “Is he…?”

“Not yet. Um, is there a chaplain or someone here at the hospital who could officiate a wedding?” Jack asks. The nurse looks confused and Jack explains desperately, “I need to marry Alex before he dies. We’re engaged and we were supposed to get married in a few months. Please.”

The nurse smiles and nods, “I’ll bring him in as quickly as I can.”

“Thank you so much.” Jack goes back into the room with a small smile on his face, whispering his idea to Alex’s parents. They seem to think it’s a great idea.

“Here. You’ll need a ring,” Alex’s dad says with a wink, pulling his wedding ring off his finger and handing it to Jack. Rian pulls off his wedding ring too and hands it to Jack, telling him to use it.

“What’s going on?” Alex asks weakly.

“We are going to get married, my love, because there is no way I’m letting you leave me before our wedding,” Jack says, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Alex’s eyes tear up a little and Jack holds back a whimper, almost crying at the sight of Alex’s tears. He composes himself, leaning down and kissing Alex slowly and gently.

The chaplain comes into the room and smiles at them, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Jack nods, handing one of the rings to Alex to hold.

“You know, I didn’t think I’d be able to lie down while saying my wedding vows… and come to think of it, it’s quite comfortable not having to stand,” Alex jokes in a near-whisper, and everyone laughs.

The chaplain says a few verses about marriage before saying, “Do you, Jack Barakat, take Alexander Gaskarth to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and hold from his day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part?”

Jack smiles, looking down at Alex, “I do.”

“And do you, Alexander Gaskarth, take Jack Barakat to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and hold from his day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part?”

“I do,” Alex whispers, and everyone claps softly for them, happy tears falling from his parents’ eyes instead of sad ones. Even Rian and Zack have tears running down their face. There’s a whole mix of emotions in the room.

“You may now kiss your partner,” the chaplain says, and Jack kisses Alex softly before they slip the rings onto each others’ fingers.

“I love you,” Alex murmurs.

“I love you too.”

--------------------

The doctor was right when he said Alex would get worse as the time went on. Everyone was talking with Alex, trying not to cry and trying to make him happy. He was in much more pain. Even the morphine wasn’t having any effect. His breathing was difficult but he refused to use a better oxygen mask, pointing out, “I’m going to die either way.”

It’s almost midnight when it happens. Jack looks down at Alex as he’s talking to him, and Alex is suddenly looking extremely pale and almost blue. The beeps on his heart monitor are starting to slow down and Jack’s body runs cold.

“I love all you guys so much, okay? I want you to know that,” Alex says in a soft whisper, looking up at the others.

“We love you too, baby,” Alex’s mom says, her voice shaky.

“Love you, bro,” Rian says softly.

Zack nods, adding, “So much. You have no idea.”

Alex looks up at Jack, who cups his face in both hands and kisses him once more before Alex says, “Jack, I love you. Forever and always, baby. Even when I’m not there, remember that I love you, okay? I’ll always love you. I promise.”

Jack nods, a tear falling from his face and onto Alex’s cheek. “I love you, Alex.”

Alex gives him a small smile and closes his eyes, the beeps of his heartbeats getting even slower until it flatlines a minute later. His parents start to cry, full out sobs. Rian starts crying and Zack hugs him, both of them crying together.

Tears run down Jack’s face as he rests his head on Alex’s chest. Alex wasn’t completely gone. Jack would keep him in his heart.

Forever and always.