Fur Immer Heilig Sein

Emily’s POV

I sat and stared at the floor, Tom’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. I brought it upon myself. And now I feel terrible. Recently, my days have been getting worse and worse. Or things will get to a point where I’m so happy, everything has to come crashing back down further than it already was. I knew what I did was wrong, and I turn down Tom plenty of times before it… so why did I turn round and say yes that night after the gig?

‘You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go make you some pasta. I that’ll make you feel better. And a nice warm mug of hot chocolate, it’s turn cold with the rain.’ Tom got up and headed to the kitchen.

That didn’t help, the rain. As soon as I had stepped out of the other bus to come over here and I saw the reporters, the heavens opened up. Kiro, Luminor and Yu were all upstairs talking with Karlee while Shin and Strify were down here just whispering then glancing at me. It was obvious they were talking to me, and I wasn’t having it. Not right now.

‘If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face. Just don’t whisper about me and make it obvious. Because right now I reckon I’ve got the whole of the rest of the world doing that. I don’t need you two as well.’ The bitterness dripped off every word I hissed at them.

‘We’re sorry. We didn’t think of it like that.’

‘Well, maybe you will next time.’ The tears streaking down my face once more. I might go home. Leave all of this behind. Get back to my family and a country where no one will know anything about me. England. Despite their English album they still hadn’t made it big over there, yet. But by that time everyone would have forgotten me. My thoughts were interrupted by Tom setting down a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

‘Ich liebe dich. Bitte gehe nicht?’ He must know what I was thinking.

‘Tom, I don’t think I’ve got any choice.’ My heart sank at my realisations.

‘Then I’m coming with you. We’ll both sink into the background. We’ll go where people don’t know me. No one will bother us.’

‘No Tom. You’ve got a great life. You’ve got the band, you can’t run out on them. And what about Bill, sooner or later he’ll feel lonely again. You can’t just hade from him. I won’t let you Tom, no. You stay.’

‘You mean, you are actually considering leaving.’

‘What else am I supposed to do? Bill won’t talk to me now, and if you’re always with me he won’t talk to you either.’

‘And what about your friends? How will they feel?’ Oh no, he wasn’t going to play the sympathetic card. Not with me.

‘They won’t miss me. They’ll wonder where I am for about a week, but after that, they will have forgotten as well. They probably wouldn’t want to know a cheater anyway. Especially Sarah, she likes Bill. She wouldn’t forgive me for hurting him like that.’

‘Emily. You need to stay. We need you here. I need you. I love you. Please…’ He pleaded holding my hands.

‘Fine.’

‘Ok?’

‘Ok, I promise I won’t go back to England.’ I looked at him and faked a smile.

‘Thank you. I’ll be back in a second. I think your pasta’s nearly done.’ Tom planted a peck on my nose then left again.