Fur Immer Heilig Sein

Bill’s POV

It’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I can’t help but think about what happened earlier between me and Emily. I know it was probably nothing but, I can’t help it. I mean, God. We just broke up and now she’s dating Tom. I couldn’t ask her to break up with him for me. For one, they look so happy together. And secondly, that’d be way to much swapping and changing and jumping about and the media would have a field day.

I was laying in bed wide awake. Why can’t I sleep? I decided to get up and go downstairs. Mum’s furniture was always really comfortable and soft as well. I put the fire on and sat in front of it thinking still. I sat in the same place as I had been earlier. I have to stop thinking about her. And having feelings for her. This is crazy. She’s pregnant, she’s probably just getting emotional.

‘Hey.’ I could swear I lept a mile in the air…

‘Jesus Emily. You scared me.’

‘Sorry, you can’t sleep either?’ she came and sat next to me on the sofa.

‘No. do you, do you want a drink?’

‘Some hot chocolate would be nice thanks. So, why can’t you get to sleep?’ She asked as I headed toward the kitchen to make a drink. She stayed sat where she was fiddling with the through over the couch.

‘Well, because of you.’

‘Because, of me…?’ she looked at me as I handed her, her mug. I flicked the light off then sat back down.

‘Well, I was just thinking about some things. It doesn’t really matter.’

‘No Bill please?’

‘Well, I was just thinking about, you know. Us.’ I stared into the depths of my mug of hot chocolate. Then decided that her eyes were a far prettier sight.

‘Listen Bill, about earlier. I…’

‘Didn’t you feel anything?’

‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I can’t sleep because of it.’

‘So does that mean you did?’

She just looking into her own mug and took a sip of the steam drink. It was then I noticed she wasn’t wearing one of Tom’s tops like she usually does to bed. She was wearing one of mine.

‘Well, yeah I did. But I’m trying to fight them back Bill. I’m with Tom, I love Tom. I’m pregnant Bill. I’m sorry.’

‘It might not be Tom’s.’ I bowed my head. Well, she has to know the truth.

‘What do you mean it…?’

‘Well, he’s not the only one of us you had unprotected sex with. You remember tha night when, when Strify and the other first turned up. And you went missing and we’d just started going out? You know when you booked that other hotel room and I didn’t know?’

‘Yes…’ her bottom lip was quivering quite severely.

‘Well, you know. I really had no idea you were going to do that so I was, well. I came unprepared if you know what I mean. I’m sorry I should have said sooner.’

‘Yes you should! That was over two months ago! That means I could be further on in the pregnancy than I thought.’ She shook her head putting her cup down. Raising her legs up she started rocking back and forth.

‘But, the doctor said…’

‘… He said he was unsure under the circumstances. He said he’d know more when I went back for a scan. God Bill, how can this be happening… How can this be happening?’

‘I’m sorry! I just thought you should know…’

‘Well, ok. Ok. Don’t panic. It’ll still look the same won’t it? I mean, you’re identical twins, what could go wrong? And if I am further on than I thought then, I’ll just say it’s a premature birth. Sorted.’ She gave a weak smile before turning to me again. ‘Look Bill. I know you still have feelings for me, and I still have them for you but; nothing can happen between us. Not again. I’m sorry.’

‘What if it is mine? Will you still say the same thing? Will you just tell people it’s still Tom’s?’

‘Of course I will!’

‘And you’ll kept a secret will you? Forever. You won’t ever tell anyone? Not even the baby? When it’s all grown up it’ll get doubts. All children do. It’ll start asking which twin’s it’s daddy.'

'I can’t believe it. Look I researched DNA yesterday, I know I’m nerd…’

‘But you’re a very beautiful nerd.’

‘…anyway, and there is a slight difference in yours and Tom’s DNA. So I can get a DNA test when it’s born so, we’ll know then. Look Bill. I’m really sorry. I really am. I just, I love Tom now.’

She left her seat and wondered slowly back upstairs. I thought I heard her sniffle and sob on the way, but I didn’t think it was the time to go and comfort her.