A Curious, Mad Dream

Quick Review:

Acelin: AZ-LEEN
Civmeralli: SIV-MER-ALL-EE
Xonia: EX-ZONE-YUH

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Once I exited the bathroom, my hair and body wrapped snugly in a plush towel, I spotted the outfit Sinclair had laid out on his bed for me. The outfit consisted of a solid black pair of cotton, drawstring pajama bottoms and a dark green t-shirt. I hesitated before grabbing the clothing wondering if I should slip my underwear and bra back on first. I glanced down at my sweaty, dirt stained clothing that I had slung over my arm before leaving the bathroom.

If I did put them back on, then taking a long, hot shower would have proven pointless if I was just going to clad my body with dirty underclothing. On the other hand it would be really weird going completely nude under a strange man’s clothes. I closed my eyes groaning over my indecisiveness.

“I can take those for you,” Sinclair offered from the doorway. I jumped startled clutching the towel to my chest.

“Seriously? I could have been naked!” I chastised him making sure the towel covered all the important parts.

Sinclair merely raised a dark blonde brow in response pulling at his scar. Those grey eyes raking down my towel clad body. I let out a snort of disgust.

“Men. They’re the same in every world,” I mumbled under my breath.

“So, would you like for me to take those for you?” he repeated.

“And do what with them? Wear them yourself? Because I didn’t see a washer or dryer anywhere,” I huffed.

“You’re terrible at snooping aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

Sinclair sighed entering the room; he brushed passed me to head for the door on the right side of the bed. He swung open the door to reveal a stacked washer and dryer set.

I cocked a dark brow in curiosity.

“So even in a land full of wonders and magic transforming weapons…you still have normal things. Nice to know,” I thoughtfully murmured to myself.

Sinclair rolled his eyes. “Of course we do. It’s not like you’re on a different planet.”

“Well I didn’t know that!” I snapped at him angrily wishing he would stop talking to me like I’m an idiot.

“You didn’t ask,” he shot back.

“Whatever,” I grumbled knowing he had a point. Again. “Just get out so I can change.”

Before he shut the door behind him, Sinclair turned back to look at me.

“Don’t worry so much about the little things like clothing. There are bigger things you should concern yourself with here.”

With that he quietly clicked the door shut behind him. I tossed my clothes in the washer before adding some of the detergent that had been sitting on top. All the time I was wondering what he could have meant. Well, there could only be one way to find out: ask him.

Deciding to just go naked under his clothes, I dropped the towel allowing the cool air of the room to softly caress my bare skin; goosebumps formed along my skin at the contact. I removed the towel that was wrapped around my head letting my long, black hair tumble in damp, tussled waves down my back tickling the sensitive flesh.

I tugged on the pajama bottoms pulling the drawstring as tight as it would go until it finally fit snugly against my hips. After throwing on the shirt I made sure nothing inappropriate could be seen.

Time to figure out why I’m here, I thought tiredly to myself as I exited the room.

* * * * * *

Sinclair and I sat in awkward silence at the small, square dining room table. Neither of us met eyes since we weren’t sure of where to begin. He knew I had a plethora of questions, but he couldn’t answer any of them if I didn’t ask.

I cleared my throat hoping that would give me the courage to break this awkward silence.

“So, how about you start at the beginning?” I suggested aimlessly staring down at my hands which sat on the table.

“Which beginning? There are many,” he softly answered relaxing back in his seat. I sent him a glare from the corner of my eye, but it went unnoticed.

“You said that this place I’m stuck in is called Wonderland, but you also said we’re not on another planet.”

“Thank you for repeating my own words back to me. I was afraid I might have forgotten what I told you,” he sardonically replied staring at me through droll eyes.

“So where is Wonderland then?” I ground out trying to ignore his snarky attitude.

“Wonderland exists in an alternate reality; a different dimension or realm. It exists yet it doesn’t. You can will yourself here, but you can’t. Do you understand?”

I blinked a few times feeling like a third grader trying to comprehend AP calculus. He must have noticed because he sighed.

“Okay, let me try a different method,” he muttered closing his eyes to think. After a few seconds those metallic grey eyes fluttered open to meet my gaze.

“A dream,” he simply began.

“A…dream?” I repeated in confusion.

“Think of Wonderland along the lines of a dream. A dream exists, right?”

“Well, I suppose,” I shrugged unsure of where he was taking this.

“Yet a dream does not exist. The only place it can live in…is inside your mind. Outside of that it has no substance.”

“Then how can it exist if it’s only inside my head?”

“Dreams are like lies. Lies always stem from a grain of truth no matter how small. While dreams, on the other hand, stem from a part of your reality no matter how exaggerated your dream becomes,” Sinclair explained as simply as he could.

“So, just to make sure I understand you correctly, you are saying Wonderland exists because it was created based off my reality? Yet, at the same time, it doesn’t exist because it lives only in my mind?”

“That’s the basic concept, yes. However, Wonderland doesn’t exist solely in your mind. It was first created in the mind of Alice, your mother.”

“M-my mother? H-how do you know my…?” my question trailed off as a swarm of memories from my childhood flashed into my head. All of those nights mother would spend speaking of her adventures in a land of wonders. A place where things were what they weren’t and weren’t what they were. A place she had called Wonderland…

“Are the memories returning to you now?” Sinclair quietly asked pulling me from my thoughts. I nodded my head in confirmation as I felt myself grow pale. So all those bedtime stories…they had been…real? That had truly been a part of my mother’s past?

“Are you saying I’m living in my mother’s dream right now?”

“Technically yes, but Alice, before she left Wonderland, announced she was abandoning this mad dream to live a normal life in the Surface World. The Surface World is where you were residing before falling through the hole,” he tacked on when he saw my mouth open to ask him about the Surface World. I nodded my understanding urging him to continue.

“Her announcement sent everyone into madness. For some the madness hit harder than most,” he quietly confessed. Curiosity crawled beneath my flesh itching at me to ask why his expression had grown so sad; why those bright silver eyes had darkened.

“Wonderland plunged into darkness as its people went to war with one another. It was hard to see friends become mortal enemies before my very eyes; to watch family turn against each other choosing sides. It was terrible. There was so much bloodshed and death. More than Wonderland had ever seen before.”

“Why did war break out just because my mother wished to leave?” I asked resting my forearms on the table as I leaned in.

“The queen blamed the Hatter for loving her so passionately and openly that it scared her away in the end. However, the Hatter blamed the queen that it had been her cruel nature and constant threats to Alice that drove her to want to escape Wonderland. So they each created an army of people that agreed with their side of things. The ones that chose neither side went into hiding as the queen and Hatter went to war with one another. Most of the ones that had gone into hiding had been found and came to an unfortunate demise.

“In all of that, your mother was one of the ones that got caught in the crossfire as she was trying to make her escape. She ended up having to kill people she once considered her friends just to flee Wonderland,” Sinclair exhaled.

“Wait, so you mean to tell me this war started just because of two people placing blame on one another? That’s ridiculous!” I scoffed finding it all completely childish.

“Ridiculous though it may be, aren’t most wars started when someone blames a wrong on another?”

“Well…um…” I stuttered unsure of how to answer.

“It was a death sentence to go against the queen,” he continued ignoring my stumbling sentence.

“Many people found the Hatter mad for so boldly pointing an accusatory finger at the queen. Others found him brave.”

“I do remember mother vaguely mentioning something like a war to me when I was younger. She would never go into detail about it. However, I don’t remember her mentioning Xonia as a part of Wonderland,” I admitted curious to know if it was formed after the war since my mother had left during the occurrence.

“That’s because she left during The First War so—”

“Wait, you guys call it ‘The First War’?” I interrupted him with my inquiry. He just nodded in response before continuing with what he had been saying.

“So she wouldn’t know of the split Wonderland had undergone once the war ended. After the queen won the war, nearly slaughtering everyone who went against her, she grew hungry for power. Once Alice had left Lydia had lost almost all the love she had worked so hard to gain, so she forcefully ripped the love out of many Civmerallis bodies to keep for her own.”

“Siv-what?”

“A citizen of Wonderland: civmiralli,” he patiently answered.

“Sure. So what do you mean love was forcefully ripped from…erm…the citizens?” I asked purposefully avoiding from using that word so I didn’t butcher its pronunciation.

“Hearts,” he cryptically replied.

“Because that answers everything,” I huffed in a sarcastic tone with a roll of my eyes.

“She ripped out our hearts taking our ability to love with them,” he described in further detail.

My eyes widened upon his nonchalant response.

“You mean…?”

He nodded in agreement. “Nothing beats beneath my chest anymore. She has my heart held captive. And not in the romantic sense,” he grumbled.

“B-but how…how are you still alive…? How did she take your love?”

“In Wonderland…things work a little differently. It’s hard for something that doesn’t really exist…to die. As for love…when you think of it, what is the very first image that pops into your head?”

“A heart,” I answered quick and simple.

“Exactly. Now what are the things that come into your mind when you think of happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, or the like?”

“Sun, darkness, aching, little faces…” I responded.

“But no hearts?” he prodded. I shook my head no.

“That’s because love resides deep in one’s heart. When we love someone…it comes from here—” he patted a hand over his chest—“not here,” he said tapping a finger against his temple.

“The majority of our emotions live inside our mind. Your mind and thoughts are the things most affected when you feel overwhelmed with joy or sadness as well as when you are burning with rage or envy. When you love though…”

“You feel as if your heart has just imploded inside your chest. Every touch, every word, every look…it sends you spiraling—drowning—in an irresistible sea of passion. It sets you on fire from the inside out leaving your heart constantly yearning for more because the love you receive from that one person…it’s just never enough,” I quietly finished. My eyes roamed his face waiting for the moment those shimmering, steel grey eyes met mine. He held my gaze up until the moment his eyes darkened with understanding.

Sinclair continued on as if I hadn’t said anything. “So when the queen ripped out our hearts, she ripped away our love vainly thinking that by doing so she would gain the love we once had for her back again. Unfortunately for her it only made our hatred for her deepen.”

“How did Wonderland split if she had captured everyone?”

“We escaped, the Hatter being our leader. Of course, at that time, the queen couldn’t have cared less about us anymore. She had what she wanted,” he scoffed.

“Your hearts.”

“Yeah. So the Hatter and his followers built their own place of refuge while I settled in between the two regions to create Xonia. I was afraid another war might break out between the two wiping out the few of us still left after The First War. So, I made rules to keep the peace and things had been going fairly well until…” his gaze swung up to meet mine.

“Until I came,” I finished catching onto his meaning.

“Yeah. It seems like your presence here has stirred up some memories that the majority of us would rather just forget,” he sighed raking both hands back through his sandy blonde hair in exasperation.

“I didn’t even want to come here,” I reminded him.

“Maybe not at the moment, but you would have found Wonderland on your own eventually.”

“How so?”

“Because you are the daughter of Alice Daray,” he simply stated in an bored tone of voice.

“It’s Alice Hart,” I corrected.

“Not when she first came to Wonderland. It was Alice Daray. Since you are her descendent and she has willingly chosen to tell you about Wonderland; it was only a matter of time before you stumbled upon our world.”

“But you said so yourself that this place is just a dream that exists only in my mother’s mind,” I said confused.

“It no longer resides in just her head now.”

Sinclair lifted a hand from where it sat resting on the table. He gently pressed the tip of his finger to my forehead.

“Wonderland now lives in your mind as well,” he quietly informed.

“So why exactly am I here then?” I inquired as his hand dropped back to the table.

“White said the queen wanted you which tells me it can’t be for anything good.”

“Why?”

“Not only did Alice forsake Lydia and Wonderland, but your mother also killed the queen’s beloved,” he confessed.

“What?” I gaped in shock.

“Remember how I told you she got caught in the crossfire and ended up having to kill people she once called friends? Well, the queen’s beloved was one of them.”

“Surely it was just an accident! My mother could never be so cruel as to purposefully kill someone’s love,” I shouted slamming my hands down onto the table as I stood from my chair.

“Whether it occurred by accident or with cruel intent, the queen doesn’t care, Acelin,” Sinclair truthfully replied motioning for me to sit back down. I obliged and slowly sat back down.

“So then what does she want with me?”

“Revenge on Alice; an eye for an eye so to speak,” he coldly stated.

“My mother killed someone the queen held dear, so…” My body began to tremble as the realization of his words hit me like a semi.

“So the queen will kill someone Alice holds dear to her,” Sinclair quietly continued off my sentence.

I lifted my blue-violet gaze from my quivering hands to stare frightened into a pair of cold, swirling grey orbs. Those full lips flattened into a thin line as he watched me put all the pieces of the puzzle in place. My mouth had gone completely dry making it more than difficult to try and swallow.

I opened my mouth; one whispered word falling from my lips like a curse.

“Me.”