Crash
One of One.
Louis was in the middle of watching reruns of Friends when he heard Harry jostling around in his room before opening and closing his door. He watched with sad eyes as Harry walked through the living room, completely ignoring Louis’ presence.
“Where are you going?” Louis called out, hoping to at least get an answer.
“Out.” Harry said back not even bothering to look at him or give him more answers.
Although Louis was upset this is the first time Harry has actually said he was going out in weeks so he can’t be too mad that ‘out’ was his only answer. Louis tried to focus on the tv show and not let his mind wonder what Harry was doing or who he was going out with or if he was going to be okay or if he was going to stay out all night. Harry has been doing this for a month now so Louis should be used to it but it still hurts. To this day Louis still isn’t sure what made Harry start acting like this; he thought everything was going really well between the two of them. The best friends seemed to be getting closer and closer and just when Louis thought he was going to finally admit how he really feels towards Harry, the younger boy started to distance himself. It started off with not cuddling anymore when they watched a movie or cooking dinner together or sometimes even falling asleep together. Then it escalated to Harry going out every other night and not telling Harry to going out in the morning and not returning until past midnight or sometimes not until the next day. Now, Harry barely even talks to him it’s like living with a ghost not his best friend.
It was hurting Louis more than he thought it would because not only is his crush distancing himself but it’s his best friend. A part from the escalating physical aspect of their relationship, he misses being able to talk to Harry. He misses having breakfast with him or telling him a new joke or going out and shopping or going to the movies or hanging out with their mutual friends. Louis misses his best friend and he doesn’t know how to get him back which is probably the worst part of all of this. Since he doesn’t know what he did wrong to cause this distance between the two he doesn’t know how to fix it. While Harry goes out doing whatever he is doing, Louis stays in their flat watching reruns of Friends or B rated 80 movies. This night is no different and Louis has seemed to watch every John Hughes movie until late in the night.
Around two in the morning Louis’s phone was ringing from the side table by the couch, Louis ignored it though hoping whoever was calling would just stop calling him. The person didn’t however and after the fourth time they were calling Louis finally answered, not even bothering to look at the caller id.
“What?” Louis answered.
“Louis?”
Louis’s eyes snapped open as he sat up, “Harry? Are you alright?”
“No, Louis,” Harry whispered, Louis could immediately tell Harry was crying.
“Where are you Haz? I’m coming to get you.”
“I don’t know Lou, I don’t know.”
“Harry do you remember that time we put that app on our phone that lets us know where the other person is? We went into London and played hide and seek that way? Do you remember Harry?” Louis snatched his car keys from his room and ran out of their apartment and to the parking deck.
“Yes I remember.”
“Okay good, turn that app on sweetheart okay? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Don’t hang up, please Louis.”
“In order to get to the app you have to hang up. You can text me though, okay? Text me all you want, text after text. I don’t even care what they say. Can you do that?”
Harry sniffled, “Yeah I can.”
“Okay great, stay where you are Harry. I’ll be right there.”
“Please hurry.”
“I will.”
Louis finally hung up and turned on his own app and started driving to where Harry was. The locator brought Louis to the west of London which is known to be the worst side of town. Louis’s heart which was already racing, started to beat out of his chest as he continued to drive and look around for Harry. Finally he caught sight of Harry curled into a ball besides a building. Louis parked the car and ran out, calling out to Harry. Harry lifted his head and stumbled to get up, running into Louis’s open arms and hugging him tightly. Louis held onto Harry, allowing the younger boy to cry into his shoulder.
“I’m here Haz, it’s going to be okay. Let’s just get you home, okay?”
Harry nodded and allowed Louis to lead him to his car, Louis even had to buckle him but he really wasn’t complaining. At this point, Louis was only concerned with making sure Harry wasn’t physically hurt and to get him back to their shared flat. He pushed the speed limit the whole time and arrived at their flat in record time. Harry curled himself into a ball again so Louis simply unbuckled him and carried him inside of their flat.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Harry, please.”
“I feel dirty, so dirty Louis. I need to get clean, I..” Harry sobbed even harder, “I need to wash him off of my body please.”
Louis’s eyes widen but he doesn’t say anything, he picks Harry back up and carries him to his bathroom where he sits him on the toilet. Louis turns on the bath water, making sure it was warm before turning back to Harry.
“I’m going to take off your clothes now Haz okay? It’s just me, remember that okay? It’s just me Harry.”
Slowly and carefully Louis took Harry’s clothes off before picking him up again and setting him in the tub. Using the portable shower head, Louis carefully poured the water over Harry’s body before washing his hair and then his body. The whole time Harry didn’t say anything, he silently cried as Louis sang quietly to him, hoping it would calm Harry down some. After the shower Louis dried him off then dressing Harry into some more comfortable clothes. Harry climbed in his bed, tugging on Louis hand signifying that he wanted Louis to lay down as well. Once Louis was laying down, Harry curled himself into Louis’s side clinging onto him tightly. Louis desperately wanted to know what Harry was dealing with but he didn’t want to push him either so instead he just ran his hands through Harry’s hair the way he knows Harry loves. After some time Harry finally fell asleep, it took Louis a lot longer to fall asleep and when he did he felt like he didn’t really sleep at all.
The next morning when the two woke up Louis offered to make Harry some food and tea but Harry declined, mumbling something about not being able to stomach it.
“What happened last night Haz?”
Harry sighed and shut his eyes tightly, trying not to cry all over again, “It started a month ago, I started hanging out with these new people and everything seemed fine. We got on really well and they were taking me to all these new clubs and festivals and restaurants and I don’t know Lou, they seemed so cool; which most of them were anyway. But last night we went out clubbing and one of the guys, he…he was pretty drunk and I was well on my way and he started kissing me and I was kissing him back.” Louis groaned internally and shook his head a little, “But then he was taking it too far and he was all over me and he wouldn’t get off and I was so scared Louis I was so scared.”
“What did he do Harry? Tell me what he did.”
“He didn’t do anything, I..I finally managed to get him off of me. I think I hit him with some beer bottles. The whole thing was really hazy. But his hands and mouth were everywhere and I felt so dirty, so gross and worthless and…” Harry trailed off. “I was in over my head.”
“Haz, none of this is your fault okay? Do you believe me? That guy was a fucking cunt and I swear to god I will kill him for hurting you but you aren’t worthless nor dirty. He took things too far and he shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t kill him Lou, I need you. I can’t allow you to get locked up.”
Louis sighed and ran his hands through Harry’s hair again, “Why did you start hanging out with those people in the first place? I’ve missed you Harry.” Louis whispered the last part.
“I’ve missed you to Lou, so much.” Harry admitted nuzzling his face in the crook of Louis’s neck. “I don’t know why I did, I guess I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of what was happening between us.”
“What do you mean? I thought we were okay, I thought we were on the same page.”
“We were okay, we were too good Lou, I knew I was going to fuck it up but I already did.”
“Hey, hey hey you didn’t fuck it up okay? I wish you didn’t do what you did but it happened. As long as it’s over, right?”
“I don’t know if it’s over Lou.” Harry whispered.
“Why? Why are you doing this to me? It hurts, I miss you so much please stop this.”
“I’m just so fucking scared.” Harry said again beginning to cry again.
“Why? Why are you so scared? I don’t understand.”
“Because Louis you’re so fucking perfect and you’re so sweet and cute and honest and funny and smart and talented and everything I want. I was falling in love with you Louis and I didn’t know if I could take it because I didn’t think you felt the same way and things were moving and moving and I just didn’t know how we were going to be okay and I got freaked out so I distanced myself.”
Louis blinked and tried to process what was happening, “You were falling in love with me?” Louis asked.
Harry sighed, “Please don’t make me say it.”
“I need to know how you feel Harry.”
“I love you!” Harry yelled backing away from Louis. “I love you okay? I love every single thing about you and I’m tired of running away, I’m tired of hanging out with people who don’t really care about me. I love you and only you and I want you to be my boyfriend because I can’t handle us being just friends.” Harry finished off his rant, tears still streaming down his face, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Louis smiled and shook his head, “Because I love you too Harry.”
Harry’s eyes grew wide, his lips parted as if he was going to say something but nothing came out so Louis took this opportunity to kiss him because there is no way Louis could put his feelings into words. Knowing what Harry went through the night before Louis kept the kiss simple, sweet and innocent. It was enough for them to completely fall into each other, not only physically but mentally as well.
Louis pulled away and rested his forehead on Harry’s, “I love you.” Louis whispered, “And I know it’s scary, being in love with someone, but it’s just me Harry. I’m going to protect you I’m going to make you smile and laugh and I’m going to sing to you and I’m going to keep you warm and I’m going to continue to love you for as long as you let me.”
“Then I hope you’re okay with forever.”
Louis grinned, “Forever sounds perfect.”
“Where are you going?” Louis called out, hoping to at least get an answer.
“Out.” Harry said back not even bothering to look at him or give him more answers.
Although Louis was upset this is the first time Harry has actually said he was going out in weeks so he can’t be too mad that ‘out’ was his only answer. Louis tried to focus on the tv show and not let his mind wonder what Harry was doing or who he was going out with or if he was going to be okay or if he was going to stay out all night. Harry has been doing this for a month now so Louis should be used to it but it still hurts. To this day Louis still isn’t sure what made Harry start acting like this; he thought everything was going really well between the two of them. The best friends seemed to be getting closer and closer and just when Louis thought he was going to finally admit how he really feels towards Harry, the younger boy started to distance himself. It started off with not cuddling anymore when they watched a movie or cooking dinner together or sometimes even falling asleep together. Then it escalated to Harry going out every other night and not telling Harry to going out in the morning and not returning until past midnight or sometimes not until the next day. Now, Harry barely even talks to him it’s like living with a ghost not his best friend.
It was hurting Louis more than he thought it would because not only is his crush distancing himself but it’s his best friend. A part from the escalating physical aspect of their relationship, he misses being able to talk to Harry. He misses having breakfast with him or telling him a new joke or going out and shopping or going to the movies or hanging out with their mutual friends. Louis misses his best friend and he doesn’t know how to get him back which is probably the worst part of all of this. Since he doesn’t know what he did wrong to cause this distance between the two he doesn’t know how to fix it. While Harry goes out doing whatever he is doing, Louis stays in their flat watching reruns of Friends or B rated 80 movies. This night is no different and Louis has seemed to watch every John Hughes movie until late in the night.
Around two in the morning Louis’s phone was ringing from the side table by the couch, Louis ignored it though hoping whoever was calling would just stop calling him. The person didn’t however and after the fourth time they were calling Louis finally answered, not even bothering to look at the caller id.
“What?” Louis answered.
“Louis?”
Louis’s eyes snapped open as he sat up, “Harry? Are you alright?”
“No, Louis,” Harry whispered, Louis could immediately tell Harry was crying.
“Where are you Haz? I’m coming to get you.”
“I don’t know Lou, I don’t know.”
“Harry do you remember that time we put that app on our phone that lets us know where the other person is? We went into London and played hide and seek that way? Do you remember Harry?” Louis snatched his car keys from his room and ran out of their apartment and to the parking deck.
“Yes I remember.”
“Okay good, turn that app on sweetheart okay? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Don’t hang up, please Louis.”
“In order to get to the app you have to hang up. You can text me though, okay? Text me all you want, text after text. I don’t even care what they say. Can you do that?”
Harry sniffled, “Yeah I can.”
“Okay great, stay where you are Harry. I’ll be right there.”
“Please hurry.”
“I will.”
Louis finally hung up and turned on his own app and started driving to where Harry was. The locator brought Louis to the west of London which is known to be the worst side of town. Louis’s heart which was already racing, started to beat out of his chest as he continued to drive and look around for Harry. Finally he caught sight of Harry curled into a ball besides a building. Louis parked the car and ran out, calling out to Harry. Harry lifted his head and stumbled to get up, running into Louis’s open arms and hugging him tightly. Louis held onto Harry, allowing the younger boy to cry into his shoulder.
“I’m here Haz, it’s going to be okay. Let’s just get you home, okay?”
Harry nodded and allowed Louis to lead him to his car, Louis even had to buckle him but he really wasn’t complaining. At this point, Louis was only concerned with making sure Harry wasn’t physically hurt and to get him back to their shared flat. He pushed the speed limit the whole time and arrived at their flat in record time. Harry curled himself into a ball again so Louis simply unbuckled him and carried him inside of their flat.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Harry, please.”
“I feel dirty, so dirty Louis. I need to get clean, I..” Harry sobbed even harder, “I need to wash him off of my body please.”
Louis’s eyes widen but he doesn’t say anything, he picks Harry back up and carries him to his bathroom where he sits him on the toilet. Louis turns on the bath water, making sure it was warm before turning back to Harry.
“I’m going to take off your clothes now Haz okay? It’s just me, remember that okay? It’s just me Harry.”
Slowly and carefully Louis took Harry’s clothes off before picking him up again and setting him in the tub. Using the portable shower head, Louis carefully poured the water over Harry’s body before washing his hair and then his body. The whole time Harry didn’t say anything, he silently cried as Louis sang quietly to him, hoping it would calm Harry down some. After the shower Louis dried him off then dressing Harry into some more comfortable clothes. Harry climbed in his bed, tugging on Louis hand signifying that he wanted Louis to lay down as well. Once Louis was laying down, Harry curled himself into Louis’s side clinging onto him tightly. Louis desperately wanted to know what Harry was dealing with but he didn’t want to push him either so instead he just ran his hands through Harry’s hair the way he knows Harry loves. After some time Harry finally fell asleep, it took Louis a lot longer to fall asleep and when he did he felt like he didn’t really sleep at all.
The next morning when the two woke up Louis offered to make Harry some food and tea but Harry declined, mumbling something about not being able to stomach it.
“What happened last night Haz?”
Harry sighed and shut his eyes tightly, trying not to cry all over again, “It started a month ago, I started hanging out with these new people and everything seemed fine. We got on really well and they were taking me to all these new clubs and festivals and restaurants and I don’t know Lou, they seemed so cool; which most of them were anyway. But last night we went out clubbing and one of the guys, he…he was pretty drunk and I was well on my way and he started kissing me and I was kissing him back.” Louis groaned internally and shook his head a little, “But then he was taking it too far and he was all over me and he wouldn’t get off and I was so scared Louis I was so scared.”
“What did he do Harry? Tell me what he did.”
“He didn’t do anything, I..I finally managed to get him off of me. I think I hit him with some beer bottles. The whole thing was really hazy. But his hands and mouth were everywhere and I felt so dirty, so gross and worthless and…” Harry trailed off. “I was in over my head.”
“Haz, none of this is your fault okay? Do you believe me? That guy was a fucking cunt and I swear to god I will kill him for hurting you but you aren’t worthless nor dirty. He took things too far and he shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t kill him Lou, I need you. I can’t allow you to get locked up.”
Louis sighed and ran his hands through Harry’s hair again, “Why did you start hanging out with those people in the first place? I’ve missed you Harry.” Louis whispered the last part.
“I’ve missed you to Lou, so much.” Harry admitted nuzzling his face in the crook of Louis’s neck. “I don’t know why I did, I guess I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of what was happening between us.”
“What do you mean? I thought we were okay, I thought we were on the same page.”
“We were okay, we were too good Lou, I knew I was going to fuck it up but I already did.”
“Hey, hey hey you didn’t fuck it up okay? I wish you didn’t do what you did but it happened. As long as it’s over, right?”
“I don’t know if it’s over Lou.” Harry whispered.
“Why? Why are you doing this to me? It hurts, I miss you so much please stop this.”
“I’m just so fucking scared.” Harry said again beginning to cry again.
“Why? Why are you so scared? I don’t understand.”
“Because Louis you’re so fucking perfect and you’re so sweet and cute and honest and funny and smart and talented and everything I want. I was falling in love with you Louis and I didn’t know if I could take it because I didn’t think you felt the same way and things were moving and moving and I just didn’t know how we were going to be okay and I got freaked out so I distanced myself.”
Louis blinked and tried to process what was happening, “You were falling in love with me?” Louis asked.
Harry sighed, “Please don’t make me say it.”
“I need to know how you feel Harry.”
“I love you!” Harry yelled backing away from Louis. “I love you okay? I love every single thing about you and I’m tired of running away, I’m tired of hanging out with people who don’t really care about me. I love you and only you and I want you to be my boyfriend because I can’t handle us being just friends.” Harry finished off his rant, tears still streaming down his face, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Louis smiled and shook his head, “Because I love you too Harry.”
Harry’s eyes grew wide, his lips parted as if he was going to say something but nothing came out so Louis took this opportunity to kiss him because there is no way Louis could put his feelings into words. Knowing what Harry went through the night before Louis kept the kiss simple, sweet and innocent. It was enough for them to completely fall into each other, not only physically but mentally as well.
Louis pulled away and rested his forehead on Harry’s, “I love you.” Louis whispered, “And I know it’s scary, being in love with someone, but it’s just me Harry. I’m going to protect you I’m going to make you smile and laugh and I’m going to sing to you and I’m going to keep you warm and I’m going to continue to love you for as long as you let me.”
“Then I hope you’re okay with forever.”
Louis grinned, “Forever sounds perfect.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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