Status: Hiatus.
Unrequited
one
It’s the end of the first day of my junior year in high school when Ren moves in. The temperature is in that torturous period where it still feels like summer, but that only proves to remind you that for the rest of the year all your free time will be plagued with tests, homework, and school drama. But for the first time I am not upset by this realization, because every fiber of my being is completely overcome by Rens arrival.
I’ve known him all my life, and have been in love with him for nearly as long. I’ve seen him grow from a goofy looking little boy with chubby cheeks and eyes which always seemed slightly too big for his round face, to a man. I watched him grow, his baby weight seeming to even out along his tall and lanky frame and his facial features finding their place with it. But even before this development, I had feelings for him. Even before I knew what these feelings were. Ren was just so different from the other little boys, he watched out for me when he came down for the summer, he never let anybody hurt me.
It’s in his nature; I’ve come to understand, to help people out. When his mother fell ill, he was always by her side and protecting her. Although it must have been hard and he had nobody else in Boston with him to help him out, he never left her until the day she died. My mother was best friends with his, and we flew down for the funeral. That night I laid with him as he cried, running my pale pearl polished hands down his back. The next day his eyes were puffy and red, but he simply thanked me for being there, and acted like nothing had happened.
Today will mark the first day I’ve seen him since I returned home. He’s moving in next door to me, with his uncle, who happens to be his mother’s brother. I eagerly await his arrival; sitting on the couch watching re-runs of America’s Next Top Model, still in my school clothes. I have on a flowy white shirt, ripped jeans and black converses, my dirty blonde shoulder length hair in a loose braid down my back. I try to act like it’s any other day, like I’m not overly excited to see Ren, but my little sister Kate knows better. For some reason I feel comfortable confiding in her about these things, and for her part she never tells a soul. She sits on the couch beside me, smiling over at me with her with her sneaky eight year old grin, which clearly displays that she knows a secret other people aren’t in on.
“Shyyy,” she says in a sing song-y voice, batting her thick eyelashes at me and twirling a strand of long platinum blonde curly hair around her pointer finger.
“What?” I ask, stifling a yawn with my hand and turning my head in her direction.
“Somebodies walking up to the door.” She’s turned herself towards the window, sitting on her knees and leaning forward.
I roll my eyes and shake my head; she’s been doing this for the last hour, in between bursts of playing with our new golden retriever puppy on the crochet carpet near the door. She’ll run over and excitedly tell me that Ren is here, then laugh as I perk up and make a mad dash for the window. “I’m really getting sick of your jokes Kate, go find something else to entertain yourself,” I sigh, lifting my legs onto the couch and folding them beneath me.
“No, really!” she protests, waving to the imaginary figure outside.
I’m about to get up and carry her into the other room, when I hear a loud knock on the door. “Told you,” she chuckles, sticking her Popsicle red tongue out at me and running to open the door. I run behind her and make it there just as she is throwing the door open and running into Ren’s arms.
“Hey there kiddo, you look so much taller and it’s only been a few months,” he laughs, squeezing her back and kissing her forehead before putting her back down.
“Thanks, mom says I had a growth spurt,” her voice is filled with pride and a slight lisp from the gap between her two front teeth.
“Well Aunt Crystal must be right.” He suddenly looks up and notices me standing beside the staircase, he grins and motions for me to come over.
“Shiloh, it’s been too long.” He meets me half way and gives me a firm hug, pulling away and smiling down at me. “You look as gorgeous as ever.” He of course has no clue what it does to me when he says things like that.
“You too Ren, it’s great to see you again.” I give his shoulder a light squeeze before taking his hand and beginning to lead him up the stairs. I can hear Kate reminding me of the no boys allowed in my room rule from behind me, but I know she won’t actually tell, and my mother wouldn’t care about Ren being in there anyway.
We’re laughing as we enter the room, already talking about things that happened last summer, and how much fun it’s going to be with him here. The door shuts behind him as he walks in and I take a seat on my Barbie pink bedspread, which I’ve had since about fifth grade. He sits beside me and shoots me a pointed look at my choice of bed decor. “You really should consider getting a new comforter,” he begins in his thick South Boston accent, no R’s in sight. “I think Barbie’s time has expired Shy, and besides, you hate pink,” he jokes, nudging me playfully in the shoulder with his elbow.
I roll my eyes, and nudge him back, overwhelmed with happiness that he is really here in Bomont with me for at least the next two years. A warm feeling of sadness floats into my lower gut, I know I shouldn’t be happy he’s here; the circumstances which led to his arrival are tragic. And if it meant having his mother still on this earth, I would give up having him here in an instant. But with things the way they are, I’m glad he’s here, living next door, and I’m going to get to see him every day.
A small smile creeps across my lips, and I ruffle his chocolate brown feathered hair. “How are you holding up Ren?” I ask, knowing very well he likes to avoid this topic.
He plays it cool, shrugging and looking down at the dark blue jean fabric covering his kneecaps. “I’m doing fine, I mean, obviously it isn’t easy. I miss her a lot, but I know she’s in a better place and I’m glad to be here with the remaining people that I love now,” he says with a toothy smile, his hazel eyes bearing into my gray ones.
I squeeze his leg and nod, resting my head against his shoulder, he smells like Dove soap with just the slightest hint of cinnamon. “Well you say that until school starts tomorrow,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
Ren lets out a loud groan and falls backwards onto my mattress, tugging at his hair with both hands. “God Shiloh, don’t remind me!”
“Don’t worry Ren, we love fresh meat here at Bomont High.” I stick my tongue out at him, and giggle softly.
I’ve known him all my life, and have been in love with him for nearly as long. I’ve seen him grow from a goofy looking little boy with chubby cheeks and eyes which always seemed slightly too big for his round face, to a man. I watched him grow, his baby weight seeming to even out along his tall and lanky frame and his facial features finding their place with it. But even before this development, I had feelings for him. Even before I knew what these feelings were. Ren was just so different from the other little boys, he watched out for me when he came down for the summer, he never let anybody hurt me.
It’s in his nature; I’ve come to understand, to help people out. When his mother fell ill, he was always by her side and protecting her. Although it must have been hard and he had nobody else in Boston with him to help him out, he never left her until the day she died. My mother was best friends with his, and we flew down for the funeral. That night I laid with him as he cried, running my pale pearl polished hands down his back. The next day his eyes were puffy and red, but he simply thanked me for being there, and acted like nothing had happened.
Today will mark the first day I’ve seen him since I returned home. He’s moving in next door to me, with his uncle, who happens to be his mother’s brother. I eagerly await his arrival; sitting on the couch watching re-runs of America’s Next Top Model, still in my school clothes. I have on a flowy white shirt, ripped jeans and black converses, my dirty blonde shoulder length hair in a loose braid down my back. I try to act like it’s any other day, like I’m not overly excited to see Ren, but my little sister Kate knows better. For some reason I feel comfortable confiding in her about these things, and for her part she never tells a soul. She sits on the couch beside me, smiling over at me with her with her sneaky eight year old grin, which clearly displays that she knows a secret other people aren’t in on.
“Shyyy,” she says in a sing song-y voice, batting her thick eyelashes at me and twirling a strand of long platinum blonde curly hair around her pointer finger.
“What?” I ask, stifling a yawn with my hand and turning my head in her direction.
“Somebodies walking up to the door.” She’s turned herself towards the window, sitting on her knees and leaning forward.
I roll my eyes and shake my head; she’s been doing this for the last hour, in between bursts of playing with our new golden retriever puppy on the crochet carpet near the door. She’ll run over and excitedly tell me that Ren is here, then laugh as I perk up and make a mad dash for the window. “I’m really getting sick of your jokes Kate, go find something else to entertain yourself,” I sigh, lifting my legs onto the couch and folding them beneath me.
“No, really!” she protests, waving to the imaginary figure outside.
I’m about to get up and carry her into the other room, when I hear a loud knock on the door. “Told you,” she chuckles, sticking her Popsicle red tongue out at me and running to open the door. I run behind her and make it there just as she is throwing the door open and running into Ren’s arms.
“Hey there kiddo, you look so much taller and it’s only been a few months,” he laughs, squeezing her back and kissing her forehead before putting her back down.
“Thanks, mom says I had a growth spurt,” her voice is filled with pride and a slight lisp from the gap between her two front teeth.
“Well Aunt Crystal must be right.” He suddenly looks up and notices me standing beside the staircase, he grins and motions for me to come over.
“Shiloh, it’s been too long.” He meets me half way and gives me a firm hug, pulling away and smiling down at me. “You look as gorgeous as ever.” He of course has no clue what it does to me when he says things like that.
“You too Ren, it’s great to see you again.” I give his shoulder a light squeeze before taking his hand and beginning to lead him up the stairs. I can hear Kate reminding me of the no boys allowed in my room rule from behind me, but I know she won’t actually tell, and my mother wouldn’t care about Ren being in there anyway.
We’re laughing as we enter the room, already talking about things that happened last summer, and how much fun it’s going to be with him here. The door shuts behind him as he walks in and I take a seat on my Barbie pink bedspread, which I’ve had since about fifth grade. He sits beside me and shoots me a pointed look at my choice of bed decor. “You really should consider getting a new comforter,” he begins in his thick South Boston accent, no R’s in sight. “I think Barbie’s time has expired Shy, and besides, you hate pink,” he jokes, nudging me playfully in the shoulder with his elbow.
I roll my eyes, and nudge him back, overwhelmed with happiness that he is really here in Bomont with me for at least the next two years. A warm feeling of sadness floats into my lower gut, I know I shouldn’t be happy he’s here; the circumstances which led to his arrival are tragic. And if it meant having his mother still on this earth, I would give up having him here in an instant. But with things the way they are, I’m glad he’s here, living next door, and I’m going to get to see him every day.
A small smile creeps across my lips, and I ruffle his chocolate brown feathered hair. “How are you holding up Ren?” I ask, knowing very well he likes to avoid this topic.
He plays it cool, shrugging and looking down at the dark blue jean fabric covering his kneecaps. “I’m doing fine, I mean, obviously it isn’t easy. I miss her a lot, but I know she’s in a better place and I’m glad to be here with the remaining people that I love now,” he says with a toothy smile, his hazel eyes bearing into my gray ones.
I squeeze his leg and nod, resting my head against his shoulder, he smells like Dove soap with just the slightest hint of cinnamon. “Well you say that until school starts tomorrow,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
Ren lets out a loud groan and falls backwards onto my mattress, tugging at his hair with both hands. “God Shiloh, don’t remind me!”
“Don’t worry Ren, we love fresh meat here at Bomont High.” I stick my tongue out at him, and giggle softly.