Unrequited

My alarm clock goes off at 7:00 in the morning, an excruciatingly loud buzzing sound breaking through my sleeping form and pulling me out of bed. “Oh great,” I think, putting my feet down on the startlingly cool floorboards and getting out of bed. I’ve never been a morning person; in fact, there’s nothing I hate more than having to wake up bright and early for school.

Walking around my bed, I hit my alarm clock on the top of its head and walk over to my bathroom. The warm water of the shower wakes me up completely and by the time I’m ready to dry my hair, do my make-up, and get dressed I’m wide awake. After grabbing a muffin and walking into the living room, I hear the honk of Rens horn in my driveway, and smile to myself. Somehow it slipped my mind that Ren was here, it did feel almost unreal. After checking myself in the mirror to make sure my hair, which is running loose and wavy to about my shoulders, isn’t too frizzy and my flowered dress is pulled down just above my knees, I head out the door.

“Hey there,” I say happily, getting into the passenger seat of his old-fashioned yellow buggie, and shutting the door after me. Ren is wearing the cutest outfit, a green button up dress-shirt complete with a tie, and a black leather jacket; his hair styled to perfection. “Look at you, dressing up for your first day of school,” I tease, reaching over and straightening out his already even tie.

Ren rolls his eyes, his smile seeming to reflect off the morning light streaming in through the window of his car. He puts it into drive. “You know what my mom always said, you gotta dress to impress,” he chuckles—and then frowns, probably thinking of his mom again.

I nudge him lightly in the shoulder, staring out the window during the pregnant pause which always seems to follow any reference of his mother. “I see you fixed up the car, it’s looking good.” Wes, Ren’s uncle, told me he would be giving him the car—granted Ren was able to fix it up. The car which had been seemingly falling apart no longer gives the impression that the engine may fall out from under it at any moment.

A smile breaks through Ren’s contemplative frown at the mention of his success on the car. “Thanks, I started work on it as soon as I left your place last night. By the way, did you know Bomont is super strict about playing music too loud? I got a fricking ticket already.” I admire his accent, there’s something about the cutting edge to his voice that makes me melt.

I stifle a laugh.“Yeah tell me about it, they’re strict about a lot of things here.” Thinking about the no dancing policy I look down at my lap, picking at the milk pale skin at my knees. There’s a good chance Ren hasn’t been informed yet and I’m not looking forward to telling the gymnast that he’s no longer allowed to dance in public.

He seems intrigued by my statement, as he looks at me curiously. Then suddenly as if he lost interest, he changes the subject. “I missed you at the church event last night, Shy.” He nudges me in the side, allowing his eyes to leave the road for half a second.

An almost inaudible groan escapes my throat as I shake my head. Living in the Deep South religion is one of the most important thing on everyone’s mind, in fact our town practically revolves around the church. Liquor stores close on Sunday’s, not attending church is heavily frowned upon, and your neighbors care if there’s no religious paraphernalia surrounding the walls of your home. Being an atheist is not something I’m able to admit—though Ren knows and never fails to find it hilarious that I’m expected by both my family and the town to attend almost all events put on by the church. They remain ignorant to the fact. “Yeah, I got a get out of jail free card on account of I felt so sick,” I put on an over-dramatized Scarlet O’Hara voice before rolling my eyes.

Ren’s dimples make in appearance as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Well I met somebody rather interesting there.” He leans in my ear and whispers, “the preacher’s daughter,” pulling away and offering me a wink.

My stomach falls to my uterus and for a moment I feel like I really am going to be sick. “You have a thing for Ariel Moore?” my words flow out through a sharp exhale of breath, I must sound like I just had the wind knocked out of me. It feels like I did.

Ren’s smile quickly fades away. “Well, I mean, I’m interested in her. She has these beautiful eyes, and her hair is just…” he breaks off, taking a moment to silently swoon as he pulls into a parking spot in front of the school. “Why, is there something wrong with her?” He looks confused, and I feel bad for him. I’ve been dreading the moment when he would find a girl he likes and start talking to me like a guy friend, which is only natural considering I’m his only friend down here. I thought I would have at least a week before running into this problem though. Who was I kidding though? A guy that looks like Ren doesn’t stay single for long.

“Listen Ren, Ariel… well she’s not the greatest person.” I regret these words right when they leave my mouth, because the fact is I don’t really know her well, and shouldn’t be trying to shit on his happiness. But the words keep coming like word vomit, and I even lean across the center console and talk in a somewhat conspiratorial voice. “She used to be pretty nice, but then her brother died in this horrible car crash a few years ago, and she’s been… off ever since. Bitchy,” I clarify, giving him a look which says I’m only looking out for his well being.

Ren slowly nods, like a bobble head, remaining quiet for a moment. “When did you become a gossip?” the malice in his voice takes me by surprise as he opens the door and steps outside. “You of all people should know that she’s obviously been through a lot.” I stare in disbelief as he puts his sunglasses on and walks towards the school building without me.

The periods leading up to lunch are incredibly stressful. Sure Ren and I have gotten into fights before, but I’ve never seen him so touchy about something like this. The thought occurs to me that maybe it upset him so much because the death of her brother reminds him of his own recent loss, but it’s totally different. Ren hasn’t changed at all since his mom passed away, besides being sadder. I wonder if he’s more upset because I was insulting the girl he likes and the thought irritates me. But it’s too soon for him to be defending her, right?

Walking into the cafeteria I can already feel my cheeks flaming, an unfortunate side effect of having anxiety and being pale as a ghost. I quickly spot Ren sitting beside Willard, a nice boy who I’ve spoken to a few times that I can remember. Willard’s a bit thicker than Ren and taller, sitting beside him with a plaid shirt and a red hat which bares the logo of some sports team I’m not familiar with. I’m not familiar with almost any sports teams. Casually I saunter over and take the empty seat beside Ren, putting down my bagged lunch and smiling uncertainly at him. “Ren, I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” I apologize, looking over him and adding, “hey, Willard,” as an afterthought.

Willard smiles at me as a sign of acknowledgement and stays quiet, pretending he isn’t listening to our conversation. I study Ren’s face. Some of the tension from earlier has left and his eyes seem gentler. He looks at me for a minute, and then finally offers me some semblance of a smile. “Don’t worry about it Shiloh, I was kind of an ass. Honestly, I don’t know what came over me. Forgive me?” he asks in a playful voice, biting his bottom lip and looking up through the tops of his eyes.

“Of course I forgive you!” I exclaim, leaning over and hugging him tightly. I come from a very hug-y family, and that’s just the thing we do in these situations.

He returns the hug and lets out a small chuckle. “So I assume you already know Willard here.” He points to his new friend.

“Oh yeah, Shiloh and I go way back,” jokes Willard, waving his hand in front of his face as if to say it’s no big deal. I laugh because we really have only interacted a handful of times. “Do you know your friend here is a tease? Just a moment ago he was telling me about…” Ren cuts him off a little too quickly with a glare.

“Nothing. We weren’t really talking about anything important. So Shiloh, do you know any dance clubs around here that let in minors? I was thinking we could go to one later tonight, of course you’re invited too Willard.” Willard and I share a look and then turn back to Ren almost simultaneously.

“I hate to break it to you Ren but I seriously doubt you’re gonna find a place to dance around here, considering it’s illegal.” Willard tries to hide his grin, obviously thinking of how ridiculous the law against dancing is. It is always strange to tell to people who aren’t from around here. However Willard doesn’t know what dancing means to Ren.

Ren breaks into a grin, obviously thinking this is a joke. “Yeah, alright,” he scoffs, looking at me as if waiting for me to tell him that Willard’s only joking.

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about that—under Bomont law dancing it kind of illegal for anyone under the age of eighteen. There’s a club a couple towns away that we should check out sometime, I’ve been meaning to go.”

Blankly Ren looks from Willard to me and then back again, a grin still spread along his face. Slowly, as realization hits, it slides off. “Wait, you guys aren’t joking?” he asks, astounded. Willard begins going off about some business with boys not being allowed to wear bandannas at school, but I’m distracted. Walking towards our lunch table is Ariel and her friend Rusty—who I used to be close to in middle school and is actually a very nice girl. None the less, I hope Ren doesn’t notice them.

However, when they walk by us Ren spots her and turns in her direction. “Ariel, right?” he asks with a school-boy smile, pronouncing her name with an emphasis on the first syllable; RR-e-el.

She stops in her tracks and gives him a look which seems to suggest she’s too good for him. “Ariel,” she corrects; Air-e-el. He repeats her correction, and gives her a steamy look with his eyes which I would love to have aimed at me. “Very good,” she says, somewhere between condescension and pride.

“That’s a nice tie, don’t let anyone tell you different,” Rusty compliments in her usual sweet voice. What might have sounded like sarcasm from someone else is an honest to god compliment from her. Sharing a mutual smile with Ren she rests a hand on her caramel colored neck and continues walking, beginning to say something to Ariel which sounds a bit like, “he’s cute!”

Ren turns back around, to my dismay grinning from ear-to-ear. The boy is already smitten, bitten, and wrecked.